Am I a jerk

[bmw325csi]

In your case, you have to be an asshole. I would say waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles him since he sounds like such a loser.

[IronFreak]

By letting them drive your vehicles you're enabling them. If they are paying $200 a month to drive it, well, let him walk for a few months, save that money and make a down payment on their on freakin vehicle.

There comes a time when abusing someones generosity has to stop. I don't blame you.

[redsubdivisions]

I'm going to comment on this again because I can. I'm not being a chauvinistic piece of garbage, but god dammit, as a head of household male...you have to have the balls and be the shot caller. My woman knows this and she is completely comfortable with it. It's not being abusive or being an asshole, it's taking command of your life's position. If you're the man of the house, you better hold up to that standard. Otherwise...you look like a giant wimp.

[Ether-D]

Alright, my 2 cents. You don't need to be the shot caller or the "head of household". It is completely your wife's choice to make about her car, and her mom, and her mom's boyfriend. It is your choice about 'your' vehicles.
I know it makes you mad that your wife lets them take advantage of her and you wish she wouldn't. I think it's time to maybe have a chat with your wife about how this seems normal to her because she was raised by her mom. Dysfunctional behavior is possibly more hereditary than DNA.
I remember thinking that my mom was perfect for years. She's not. Live and learn.

[CrusherCurtis]

I would make my mom get her car back from her boyfriend and would never borrow her my car so that he could borrow hers. I would tell my mom stop being a doormat, and wouldn't do it in a nice way.

On a side note don't think i could charge my mom to borrow my car.

[blunttech]

Take care of your wife's feelings. This dipshit and her mom will be gone but youll be with your wife forever. Id sit down with her and tell her all youre doing is enabling this douche to continue to be a low life and take advantage of HER mom. And you cant do it any longer.
Spin it as if youre looking out for her moms best interests

[DEV0 E30]

I echo Austin's sentiments exactly.

Why? I took apart my E30 many months ago and I bike 7 miles a day, been doing it for quite a few months now - used to be 18 miles a day. I could afford a car payment, but it's wasted money in my mind and I like the exercise. I'll still probably bike once the car is back together.

3ish miles on bike = 15 Minutes, even in this heat, headwind, etc. It'll take him about double that walking at a slow pace. In 30 minutes he can also find the bus route that will make his walk the equivalent to walking around the block. I have no sympathy I guess, and I'm an asshole when people take things for granted.

What it comes down to is if you can have your wife see that it's a bad idea without causing any drama between you and her. Your relationship with her should obviously be your main concern but this clearly isn't a good situation for your wife to enable.

They should be paying into your insurance for the vehicle they drive as stated. If they want to use a vehicle, they will be listed as a driver on said policy and pay accordingly or the whole policy as this person isn't just using it here or there, they're using it every day. If they can't afford that, then this borrowing of the vehicle legally and correctly shouldn't be on the table any longer.

3 miles?! take the bus/bike/walk. Even in this heat its not that far. on a bike that's nothing.

gotta put your foot down man. Especially since you are married. I was easy going on some things before being married but now i have no issue speaking my mind and letting anyone know how things go. Luckily both of our parents wouldn't ever take us for a ride like that

I have some aunts that have been doing similar stuff to my mom and i finally told her to cut them loose. Its hard when it is family but it is the only way some people can get the hint and make some changes

[Thizzelle]

Take care of your wife's feelings. This dipshit and her mom will be gone but youll be with your wife forever. Id sit down with her and tell her all youre doing is enabling this douche to continue to be a low life and take advantage of HER mom. And you cant do it any longer.
Spin it as if youre looking out for her moms best interests

Blunt knows
and 3 miles? he can ride a bike. He will be helping the Earth :) and himself physically

[DIIRTY-30]

If you can work hard for what you have; why should someone else who doesn't be rewarded?

[oliver.r]

just make them pay for everything if you are not using the car at all

[cabriodster87]

He can rent a car http://www.rentawreck.com/index.html

[pacmanE30]

you're not a jerk...you're a r3v, but this situation makes you look like donkey butt. Blunt hit it on the the head as well as a few other r3vs here...Take care of your wife, but enforce it with reason, because sometimes common sense goes out the window when it comes to family and you just gotta check'em with it! Take their $200 payment and buy him a bike...better yet, refuse the payment and tell that deadbeat boyfriend to use it to buy a bike because the car is no longer available for HIS use.

[Cabriolet]

i say waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles em. hes an adult you don't own them squat. it's your car loan it out only as you desire to.

[Q5Quint]

If the car is your wifes then it is her decision. Her bad decision. If they can afford to pay you $200 a month to use your car, they can go to a dealership and buy a car. Unless there is something fishy.

[dsphil]

Look at the bright side. they're not living with you.