-
The Chemistry of Hell
This might be a repost - but I'll be damned if it's not funny.
>> >An actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid
>>>term.
>>> >The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
>>> >with colleagues, via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure
>>>of
>>> >enjoying it as well:
>>> >
>>> >Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
>>> >(absorbs heat)?
>>> >
>>> >Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
>>> >cools when expands and heats when compressed) or some variant.
>>> >
>>> >One student, however, wrote the following:
>>> >
>>> >First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>>>need
>>> >to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
>>>which
>>> >they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>>> >to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
>>> >many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
>>> >exist in the world today.
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>>> >religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>>> >religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
>>>can
>>> >project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
>>>are,
>>> >we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
>>> >we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
>>> >states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
>>> >same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
>>>added.
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >This gives two possibilities:
>>> >1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>>>enter
>>> >Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>>> >Hell breaks loose.
>>> >
>>> >2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>> >Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
>>>over.
>>> >
>>> >So which is it?
>>> >
>>> >If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>>> >that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
>>> >into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
>>> >must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
>>> >frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
>>> >over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
>>>therefore,
>>> >extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
>>>divine
>>> >being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>>> >
>>> >THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+!
>>>
>>>
>>>
Leave a comment: