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(POL) Politics Explained, Humor. Almost Satire...

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    (POL) Politics Explained, Humor. Almost Satire...

    Politics Explained





    FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.


    PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.


    BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.


    FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.


    PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.


    RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.


    CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.


    DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.


    PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.


    REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.


    BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.


    PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.


    LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.


    SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.







    #2
    Old as the intarwebz, but still a classic!
    -Erik
    '16 Focus 2.0L - '99 Protegé DX 1.6L POS (Sold) - '87 4runner 22R-E (Sold) - '86 Schwarz S50 (Sold) - '02 WRX Wagon (sold) - '07 Impreza 2.5i (sold) - '91 Alpine M52 (Sold) - '89 Alpine 325is (Sold)


    Originally posted by 87e30
    I just want to dance with some beezies

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Farbin Kaiber View Post

      BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
      that one's great haha

      Comment


        #4
        Absolutely awesome! I love it!!
        stephenbrody.com

        Comment


          #5
          Here are a few more for fun....

          AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

          A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

          A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

          A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

          A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

          AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

          A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

          A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

          A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

          AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

          A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

          AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

          AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.



          ;-)

          Comment


            #6



            “There is nothing government can give you that it hasn’t taken from you in the first place”
            Sir Winston Churchill

            Comment


              #7
              PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

              Let the chips fall where they may.

              Every day I wake up we drink a lot of coffee and watch the CNN
              Every day I wake up to a bowl of clover honey and let the locusts fly in.
              Lobsterbacks attack the town again
              Wrap all my things in aluminum
              Beams of darkness streak across the sky
              Pink rays from the ancient satellite
              Every time I look out my window same three dogs looking back at me.
              Every time I open my windows cranes fly in to terrorize me.

              Comment


                #8
                Well, somebody remove my (POL), I guess it's a mute point.

                Comment


                  #9
                  The people have spoken.

                  Just like in the last election.......

                  see where that got us.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Farbin Kaiber View Post
                    CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
                    Hilarious, I like this thread as long as it stays with cows.
                    1985 M10b18. 70maybewhpoffury. Over engineered S50b30 murica BBQ swap in progress.

                    Originally posted by DEV0 E30
                    You'd chugg this butt. I know you would. Ain't gotta' lie to kick it brostantinople.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      In this light Communism sounds great.
                      sigpic
                      Originally posted by u3b3rg33k
                      If you ever sell that car, tell me first. I want to be the first to not be able to afford it.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        LAWLbump.

                        Comment

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