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What Are The Specs On Santa's Sleigh Anyway....

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    What Are The Specs On Santa's Sleigh Anyway....

    This idea was taken from a friend of mine, here is what he said:

    Merry Christmas!
    There are approximately two billion children (persons under eighteen) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or
    378 million(according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes,resuming there is at least one good child in each.

    Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.
    This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child,Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to
    park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney,
    fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

    Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

    This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second,and a conventional reindeer can run (at best)
    15 miles per hour.

    The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa himself.On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This
    increases the payload, not counting the weight of
    the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

    600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

    Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001
    seconds, would be subjected to acceleration
    forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.


    Personally, I think it's a Euro Diesel....

    2001 Reflex Silver VW Gti VR6
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    #2
    Had me cracking up. Thanks for sharing.

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      #3
      LOL excellent.

      Gotta love physics...
      1988 325iC - "Betty" - Daily Driver/Project Car.
      1993 318i - "The Golden Dream" - Dad's Car.
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        #4
        Did the engineering staff have too much time on its hands again?! ROFLMAO!!! That was funny.

        Comment


          #5
          Brilliant! Pulitzer right there! :twisted: (sorry, may have spelt it wrong)
          - Sean Hayes

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            #6
            Good thing I'm Jewish. The last thing I need is to wake up to a quivering blob of pink goo on my living room floor.

            Comment


              #7
              there


              is


              NO

              SANTA


              ???????





              WHY?

              Comment


                #8
                DOCTOR: Well Rudolf we finally figured out what makes your nose red

                RUDOLF: Is it pixy dust or Leprocaun tails?

                DOCTOR: No its a tumor

                RUDOLF: You mean like a magical christmas tumor?

                DOCTOR: No a malignant tumor the base of which is lodged deep within your brain

                RUDOLF: Oh... like a happy special-

                DOCTOR: Youre going to die.


                oh how i love family guy... :D

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by finch
                  DOCTOR: Well Rudolf we finally figured out what makes your nose red

                  RUDOLF: Is it pixy dust or Leprocaun tails?

                  DOCTOR: No its a tumor

                  RUDOLF: You mean like a magical christmas tumor?

                  DOCTOR: No a malignant tumor the base of which is lodged deep within your brain

                  RUDOLF: Oh... like a happy special-

                  DOCTOR: Youre going to die.


                  oh how i love family guy... :D

                  LOL
                  1990 325ix

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by SebSter
                    Originally posted by finch
                    DOCTOR: Well Rudolf we finally figured out what makes your nose red

                    RUDOLF: Is it pixy dust or Leprocaun tails?

                    DOCTOR: No its a tumor

                    RUDOLF: You mean like a magical christmas tumor?

                    DOCTOR: No a malignant tumor the base of which is lodged deep within your brain

                    RUDOLF: Oh... like a happy special-

                    DOCTOR: Youre going to die.


                    oh how i love family guy... :D

                    LOL times 2
                    !!!
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                      #11
                      whoever wrote that forgot about time zones and the all important fact that santa is immortal (didnt you watch those claymation movies)
                      Your signature picture has been removed since it contained the Photobucket "upgrade your account" image.

                      Originally posted by TimKninja
                      Im more afraid of this thread turning into one of those classic R3v moments, where Pizza gets delivered.

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                        #12
                        :rofl:
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                          #13
                          thanks for ruining XMAS for everyone!!!! BAH!!!!!! :twisted: Santa is LIVES!!!

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by tonytony
                            Santa is LIVES!!!
                            my thoughts exactly.... :?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              They actually read and did a whole segment of this on ABC national news tonight, complete with a very jewish math professor showing the equations involved.

                              It was funny, they read it verbatim from the email, without acknowledging it.

                              -Charlie
                              Swing wild, brake later, don't apologize.
                              '89 324d, '76 02, '98 318ti, '03 Z4, '07 MCS, '07 F800s - Bonafide BMW elitist prick.
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