Dumbest things you've heard people say about/seen people do to their cars

[HarryPotter]

Just join the R3v facebook page.

[IronFreak]

Had a guy hope onto a local clubs FB page and ask how to install a BOV, after further discussion, not only was he serious (thought it was a bad troll).......but he didn't even have a turbo on his GTO. He just went and bought a brand new Greddy BOV because he...in his own words "want the swoosh sound"........

[ThatOneEuroE30]

I got some good ones all from the same person to. The first one is I'm sitting in class talking cars and this kid interrupts and I shit you not said these exact words " Me and my buddy are taking 2 v6's and welding them together to make a v12" I walked away without saying a word... The next one is this kid says he was drifting his Subaru sti at 150mph on the interstate. He has also said that he has a Ferrari and like six corvettes and a bunch of other shit while the only car I see him drive is a POS GMC jimmy with painted green wheels sticker bombed and truck exhaust.

[Subtle]

I'm not master mechanic or Subaru expert but last time I checked valves we not called "plungers". According to my friend and the dude that claims to be a "subaru mastertech" took his $100 to diagnose his "stuck plunger" mind you the car still runs just it had a large vacuum leak that was causing his missfire issue...

[Ether-D]

I worked at O'Reilly back in the day and a customer came in wanting a harmonica balancer for his Bru-rick.

[mrcheezle19]

I work at a car dealership in sales so you would hope most of us know a thing or 2 about cars, well not my boss. Anyways one day I have a customer who is fairly knowledgeable about the Diesels. I go through the motions but clearly he's not buying today so my boss decides to come over and "attempt to close" him. My boss starts to say some small facts he know about the engine and then slides in there that there's turbos on each cylinder... I'm not suppose to talk so I just let him dig himself into a hole. The customer plays along and asks him how that works. He kinda stutters and says that the turbos force air through the injectors to get the fuel into the firing chamber faster creating more boost. At this point I say thanks Micah, he walks away and the customer and I look at each other. I just say he tries his best and hand him a card. Then my boss asked me if he explained it correctly, I said you were close, the customer didn't know much anyways.

I've got many stories with my boss and stupid shit he said, I'll start a mini series.

[Conki]

Friend of mine told me her dad sold his car because of the head casket

Edit: Nevermind, i thought YOU misspelled "gasket" haha.

To add to the topic:
I can't even remember how many times I cringed when people I know referred to their wheels as tires.
As in "I just got these sick chrome tires from Sear Auto, bro".

[e30jake]

Friend of mine told me her dad sold his car because of the head casket

[kwill22]

He shouldn't have tried to pass himself of as all-knowing, but they do make you test the batteries (it only takes a few minutes to do it properly). I work at Advance and if you ring up a battery, the computer will ask you if you tested the customer's and what error code the tester gave.

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That's the part that mainly pissed me I off because he originally said it'll only take like I 5 minutes and that turned into an hour. I didn't have a problem with him testing because I knew he had to for me to get the warranty replacement

[JinormusJ]

Dumbest things you've heard people say about/seen people do to their cars

Was working on my car the other day in front of my house diagnosing a steering rack studder

I was under my car when some high school kids walk by and say: "Cool car bro, I like the inline-V6"

I said thanks and they kept on walking

Had to control my lols or else look like a douche. It has 6 cylinders, so at least they got it half right

[cferb]

Idk if you guys know about honda del slow (sol) but in the u.s. they came with a single over head cam, so this guy in my class was like my del slow has a b16(supposed to be dohc) with vtakk and he pops his hood and we see the single cammer no vtakk all stock and hes like yeah my b16 came in sohc. I just walked away
-__-

They were sold in the US with the DOHC B16, doesn't mean his was, but they exist.

[redsubdivisions]

I work two jobs and despite working at a dealer behind the parts counter during the day, I seem to never be able to get away from car idiots even after we close.

My night manager at my second job is a decent guy. We both have families to take care of, same age, etc. He mentions he is into cars and says that he constantly talks about them. Cool, he likes cars, so I spark up a conversation about my M20 turbo build and before I can finish about my mild power goals and how I don't want a ton of power, he chimes in and begins to tell me about his all motor 4-cylinder Nissan SR20VE with 200hp will "spank your car" and how he has invested $4k in his suspension setup for what is basically a 2-door Sentra.

I figured out what type of guy he was after that and just avoid any car talk when I'm there.

[MikeDE]

'All you have to do is adjust the dwell on those valves and you get like 60hp'

[Pocket Chant]

We'll I might officially be done with autozone. About a month ago I was replacing a battery for my brothers E39 because it wasn't holding a charge/dropped a cell. I get into autozone and tell the guy I need a replacement because it's not holding a charge, only 3v etc. He proceeds to ask me all these dumb questions and checks the volts on the battery. He's like it has 4v. I'm like ok yea it's a bad battery. says he has to test it, company policy for warranty blah blah blah. I understand that but the whole time he's trying to "school" me on batteries with his ASE certified pin on his name tag. (I'm sure it was the parts clerk test)
I literally spent an hour waiting on this guy to test the battery properly. Whole time I'm making it obvious that I'm aggravated but he's maintaining that the battery is fine while testing it. After that hour was up he comes out swallowing his pride and was like, hey that battery is bad. WTF I've been telling you this for an hour. Get my battery under warranty and walked out without saying a word.

He shouldn't have tried to pass himself of as all-knowing, but they do make you test the batteries (it only takes a few minutes to do it properly). I work at Advance and if you ring up a battery, the computer will ask you if you tested the customer's and what error code the tester gave.

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[kwill22]

We'll I might officially be done with autozone. About a month ago I was replacing a battery for my brothers E39 because it wasn't holding a charge/dropped a cell. I get into autozone and tell the guy I need a replacement because it's not holding a charge, only 3v etc. He proceeds to ask me all these dumb questions and checks the volts on the battery. He's like it has 4v. I'm like ok yea it's a bad battery. says he has to test it, company policy for warranty blah blah blah. I understand that but the whole time he's trying to "school" me on batteries with his ASE certified pin on his name tag. (I'm sure it was the parts clerk test)
I literally spent an hour waiting on this guy to test the battery properly. Whole time I'm making it obvious that I'm aggravated but he's maintaining that the battery is fine while testing it. After that hour was up he comes out swallowing his pride and was like, hey that battery is bad. WTF I've been telling you this for an hour. Get my battery under warranty and walked out without saying a word.