Here's the latest R3v installment in the epic episodes of fuck my life.
So I know this is my fault, but basically I hate the ministry of transportation.
The story goes like this, the day after I got my e30 licensed I decided to drive up to a friends house who lives 30 minutes away and get shit faced. I mean it was my friend in university who lives with 5 other girls who aren't too bad on the eyes. Oh yea.. and it's my birthday. So we go out, I get shit faced the usual, wake up the next morning, drive home. I go through a township and the speed drops from a 70 to a 50. I didn't know, I didn't see the one lonely sign hidden on the other side of the ditch, I get pulled over for doing 71 (yes 1 km over the limit of the area 100m back) in a 50. And failure to provide proof of insurance, when he can cleary see that i'm insured, I gave him my policy number, I had just gotten insurance the day before so no slip. I'm angry, hung over so I take it don't argue, took the reduced 15 over no points and insurance, setup a court date.
Fast forward to 5 months later, I goto court and I tell the prosectutor "Listen cock sucker, I don't want any of your mother fucking schinangans, I want you to bend over the table and drop em like you did when you were young." He agreed, dropped the failure to provide ticket if I plead guilty to the speeding offence. I did and could have swore I asked the judge for 60 day's to pay.
Fast forward 45.5 day's later: I'm like alright, time to go pay this cock sucker, I have 15 days left so i'm good, pick up the notice look at it, due date... 15.5 day's ago.. FUCK! Read the fine print, "after 15 day's of failure to pay license will be suspended" DOUBLE FUCK! So I go the next day in hopes that they didn't suspend it. Of course knowing my luck with anything to do with a vehicle they did. So I'm like to the sexy bitch on the other side of the glass at the court "Let's pay this shit, give me my license back so I can hop in my whip and roll hard core, you know... hard core like the way I want to give you my gigantic wang in your ass bitch.. ya hurd?!?!" She's like, "Aight maw fucka, give me the 72$ for the ticket you owe me and then you can goto the ministry of transportation and pay 150$ and wait 4 day's to get your license back. Then you can ride me like a fucking unicorn on roids" Then I replied "Alright listen bitch! I get what you're saying, get me some waffle fries and a large coke! and what is this shit about 150$?!?" I tell the bitch to hold on, I call the court house where I went actually went to court, and say I could have swore I said 60 days, the bitch listened to the hearing and said that I said 30... alright fuck me whatever.
So, I can't drive to the MTO to pay these money sucking pig fuckers so I walk. "Oh look it's cloudy out." I think to myself as I walk out of the court house on my journy to the MTO. It's warm out, i'll leave my sweater in the car...
I'm walking.. (The wrong way) for 20 minutes and realize that it's the wrong street.. "FUCK!" So I walk back the other way, and oh alas, mother natures starts flowing her love juices all over me.
So now, I'm pissed, going to be poor, soaking wet, and did I mention pissed?
I get to the MTO, wait in the fucking line, only to get the biggest mother fucking waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles of all time to "serve me". I tell her, "Listen waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles, I don't want none of your english accent all up in my grille, I give you money, you give me license" After trying to make light of the situation by joking around with her that I should learn to read, she makes some smart ass comment about how I should learn to drive. So I asked her to come around the counter, and stand still. I drop to one knee and thrust my fist forward towards the gap between her gunt and stomach and scream at the top of my lungs "FALCON PUNCH!" After pulling my fist out of her waffleswaffleswaffleswafflesmach (stomach and gunt) and shaking off the durty sludge from my hand, I take my reciept and paper and head back on my merry way. As I walk out the door she yells from the floor "Goto the MTO on Monday to get your temp license". I turn around Stallone style give her the look, say "Fuck off wench!" And trek back to my car 20 minutes away at the court..
I get back to my car.. soaked, pissed and say fuck it, i'm driving home after calling around to get friends to come drive my car. I paid the fucking fee, because it takes them forever to get my paperwork processed they can suck my fucking cock!
Fast forward to today, after work I head to the MTO and see the line out the fucking door as usual and I'm about to Morph into the maw fuckin hulk when I see my favourite person at the MTO who loves me to death and she lets me come to the front of the line, as people get pissed I walk laugh and chat it up with her. I mean she's not hot, but i'd do her, I like to make her feel sexy n shit so I get privledges like the aformentioned. Then I find out she has to call someone to get confirm some shit with me, so I wait another 10 minutes, she calls me back up, I sign some shit, take some shit and drive my ass home and hop onto R3V.
Coles notes: Fuck the MTO, I should read shit more carefully, Civil servents and peasants, my dick gets around, I'm out 222$ which could have bought parts or waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles.
Sam
So I know this is my fault, but basically I hate the ministry of transportation.
The story goes like this, the day after I got my e30 licensed I decided to drive up to a friends house who lives 30 minutes away and get shit faced. I mean it was my friend in university who lives with 5 other girls who aren't too bad on the eyes. Oh yea.. and it's my birthday. So we go out, I get shit faced the usual, wake up the next morning, drive home. I go through a township and the speed drops from a 70 to a 50. I didn't know, I didn't see the one lonely sign hidden on the other side of the ditch, I get pulled over for doing 71 (yes 1 km over the limit of the area 100m back) in a 50. And failure to provide proof of insurance, when he can cleary see that i'm insured, I gave him my policy number, I had just gotten insurance the day before so no slip. I'm angry, hung over so I take it don't argue, took the reduced 15 over no points and insurance, setup a court date.
Fast forward to 5 months later, I goto court and I tell the prosectutor "Listen cock sucker, I don't want any of your mother fucking schinangans, I want you to bend over the table and drop em like you did when you were young." He agreed, dropped the failure to provide ticket if I plead guilty to the speeding offence. I did and could have swore I asked the judge for 60 day's to pay.
Fast forward 45.5 day's later: I'm like alright, time to go pay this cock sucker, I have 15 days left so i'm good, pick up the notice look at it, due date... 15.5 day's ago.. FUCK! Read the fine print, "after 15 day's of failure to pay license will be suspended" DOUBLE FUCK! So I go the next day in hopes that they didn't suspend it. Of course knowing my luck with anything to do with a vehicle they did. So I'm like to the sexy bitch on the other side of the glass at the court "Let's pay this shit, give me my license back so I can hop in my whip and roll hard core, you know... hard core like the way I want to give you my gigantic wang in your ass bitch.. ya hurd?!?!" She's like, "Aight maw fucka, give me the 72$ for the ticket you owe me and then you can goto the ministry of transportation and pay 150$ and wait 4 day's to get your license back. Then you can ride me like a fucking unicorn on roids" Then I replied "Alright listen bitch! I get what you're saying, get me some waffle fries and a large coke! and what is this shit about 150$?!?" I tell the bitch to hold on, I call the court house where I went actually went to court, and say I could have swore I said 60 days, the bitch listened to the hearing and said that I said 30... alright fuck me whatever.
So, I can't drive to the MTO to pay these money sucking pig fuckers so I walk. "Oh look it's cloudy out." I think to myself as I walk out of the court house on my journy to the MTO. It's warm out, i'll leave my sweater in the car...
I'm walking.. (The wrong way) for 20 minutes and realize that it's the wrong street.. "FUCK!" So I walk back the other way, and oh alas, mother natures starts flowing her love juices all over me.
So now, I'm pissed, going to be poor, soaking wet, and did I mention pissed?
I get to the MTO, wait in the fucking line, only to get the biggest mother fucking waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles of all time to "serve me". I tell her, "Listen waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles, I don't want none of your english accent all up in my grille, I give you money, you give me license" After trying to make light of the situation by joking around with her that I should learn to read, she makes some smart ass comment about how I should learn to drive. So I asked her to come around the counter, and stand still. I drop to one knee and thrust my fist forward towards the gap between her gunt and stomach and scream at the top of my lungs "FALCON PUNCH!" After pulling my fist out of her waffleswaffleswaffleswafflesmach (stomach and gunt) and shaking off the durty sludge from my hand, I take my reciept and paper and head back on my merry way. As I walk out the door she yells from the floor "Goto the MTO on Monday to get your temp license". I turn around Stallone style give her the look, say "Fuck off wench!" And trek back to my car 20 minutes away at the court..
I get back to my car.. soaked, pissed and say fuck it, i'm driving home after calling around to get friends to come drive my car. I paid the fucking fee, because it takes them forever to get my paperwork processed they can suck my fucking cock!
Fast forward to today, after work I head to the MTO and see the line out the fucking door as usual and I'm about to Morph into the maw fuckin hulk when I see my favourite person at the MTO who loves me to death and she lets me come to the front of the line, as people get pissed I walk laugh and chat it up with her. I mean she's not hot, but i'd do her, I like to make her feel sexy n shit so I get privledges like the aformentioned. Then I find out she has to call someone to get confirm some shit with me, so I wait another 10 minutes, she calls me back up, I sign some shit, take some shit and drive my ass home and hop onto R3V.
Coles notes: Fuck the MTO, I should read shit more carefully, Civil servents and peasants, my dick gets around, I'm out 222$ which could have bought parts or waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles.
Sam
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