Project Meat-flange - an Australian story that doesn't involve Nicole Fucking Kidman

[CorvallisBMW]

bwwahhahah! I love you're writing style. And ya, it's nice to hear about something from Australia that doesn't involve either Hugh Jackman or Nicole Kidman. I am anxiously awaiting updates, I lol'd hard at the intro alone; looking forward to actual progress!

BTW, another epic Aussie beer commercial, it was running while I loved in Geelong for a bit and I still watch it a few times a month, gets me every time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH3GH7Pn_eA

[e30polak]

You have an exquisite writing style. I look forward to the build of this wonderful shitbox you have acquired. :nice:

[awestun]

epic thread title.

[E30SPDFRK]

Title drew me in, was not disappointed.

Sounds like a cool project.

[Bimmersmith]

LMAO that was freaking awesome. Looks like a good starting point too.

[tg318is]

DROPBEARS? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULEQpUY_crc lawl

[ikkitousen]

OMFG that was a hysterical read sir! Good on ya!
And I assume you are posting this way in light of a great find for 3k AUD eh? Thats gotta be like $2.00 US right? Either way looks good man. Now time for an M50 swap and then build the 4 banger out. "Like Whoa!"

P.S. WTF is a dropbear???? Is that some Aussie slang for fucked up koala or are you insluting some other race down there LULZ!

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DAMN PACKS OF CRACK-ADDICTED FOOTABALLERS WITH A TEENAGED CHEERLEADER!!!

[e30guydownunder]

no eurocca....thats the place where the e30 gets bashed profusely

[Iain]

i see your posting it here so you dont get bashed for have a "God's Chariot Special"? Nice, looks promising.

Is that an e30tech joke?

I'm rather out of the loop. Like whoa.

[e30guydownunder]

i see your posting it here so you dont get bashed for have a "God's Chariot Special"? Nice, looks promising.

But damn those dropbears are moving into new grounds, stealling tools and shit.

[tg318is]

lol this looks promising :D

[Iain]

Good day sirs and madams,

A story, if you will: I previously had a '90 325i coupe that I poured a lot of time and money into. Known as "The Rotting Menstruation Slag Special" It was a great daily and a heck of a lot of fun... Memory lane...





But back to reality. I sold it because I'm mentally retarded and enjoy throwing vast amounts of money on shitbox 80s/90s cars (oh what a cunning plan for fame, fortune and possible world domination that has been), particularly old brown Subarus that go faster than Porsches. Yay! Buying a house forced me to give up Project Brown Note in favour of a couch. Fuck my couch.

I've been looking for a new project and only an E30 would do as I love Japanese cars like a red-headed step-child. However, with a mortgage successfully raping me like a pack of crack-addicted footballers with a teenage cheerleader, I couldn't afford a nice 325 - in Australia they're worth nearly $10k (AUD) - so I started looking for non-rusty shitboxes going cheap.

I lucked onto this particular shitbox (which will be named "Project Meat-Flange" in the tradition of Pork Hunt Motorsport) and picked it up for $AUD3k. The sunroof panel is rusty, there are dings on the front guards, it is a fucking 318 (urgh, makes me want to eat a freshly prolapsed intestine with this lack of powahs), the original seat back was broken so I had to buy another slightly less munted seat to get it home, the boot needs a buff, it has 233,000km on it, some oil leaks, had a non-operational Ronald Reagan launch controller (aka old shit Siemens car kit), some wire had come loose off the radiator and it ran hot, but it does have a full service history, though, and is clean, straight and stock.

Unlike my old 325 it has no goodies - no map light mirror, manual windows/sunroof, no OBC, no MTech2 wheel, fixed rear glass, seats made from park benches, a steering wheel wrapped in the foreskin of Walt Disney (or some other 90 year old). But it is light. Fuh raze, bruh.

It has rego till late February 2010 so it will be weekend transport until then, and will then get pulled off the road for some work. At the moment I'm thinking Nismo stickers, a thousand neon lights, quad faux Ti cannon mufflers, mutiple sex toys scattered around the interior and a dead trout rotting on my dashboard. Oh and at least 25 gauges. You can never have too many gauges.

Or I might become some kind of poofter ricer and just do 5-lug, M52 (alloy block), cams, new bushes/mounts for everything, gutted interior, fixed-back seats and a keg mount in the back to keep my beer cold. Going to do some aesthetic shit too like HIDs, tints, smoked indicators, etc. I'd also kill a field of a thousand babies to get my hands on another set of smoked MHW tails like on my old car (I had the full set and the bloke sold them for $100AUD when he bought it. Fuckwit.)

Anyway, not much will happen soon as I'm broke and it isn't February, so until then please remember that sodomy is the best policy.

Regards,
Sir Manfred B. Thighblaster
Head Cheese - Pork Hunt Motorsport

Enjoy these shit pics:

Shitbox 318 makes all the unicorns happy!





Not-quite-so-fucked-but-still-pretty-fucking-shithouse seat. I call him Trevor.


Missing most of the tool kit. I bet a fucking bunyip or drop-bear stole it. waffleswaffleswaffleswaffless.


Came with spare BBS CF centre caps...


...that makes 6 in total.