Another marital problem thread....

[joshh]

As some of you may know, I was a Scientologist. Born into it.
Over the last 8 months I finally started to look and search for things to answer many of my questions about what I experienced in Scientology. Thus I decided to finally leave the church and not only not support it but tell people about what I know to protect others from Scientology.

My wife and I met and married while we worked for the "church" (no it's not a real church). We've been married for 16 years. I started to tell my wife about what I found out about Scientology and my questions. She wanted absolutely no part of it. In fact she was so upset that she told me she doesn't want to lose her mom over this and would have no choice but to leave me if I started to talk publically against the "church".

Scientology has a disconnection policy where if someone talks badly about it, Scientology declares the person a Suppressive person and all other Scientologists are forbid to talk to that person. I could go on and on but I already started a thread about Scientology.

This talk we had was a few months ago. I agreed to keep quiet about what I found and not to do anything public about it. Or to even search for things on the net about Scientology. This promise I couldn't do. I kept searching the net and finding lie after lie from the church.

Friday night I tried to talk to her about Scientology's library campaign. Scientology claims they have a full set o their 18 books in every library on the planet. It's a huge lie. I brought it up with her to show her that the "church" are fucking liars and things aren't as they say it is.

She has hardly spoken to me since.
I can't believe the child she has become about this. Indoctrination into Scientology runs deep. They refuse to so much as even listen to what you have to say about it. Even if what you have to say is fact and you can prove it. Specially if it's at all negative.

I asked her 2 days ago whether she was going to keep pretending I don't exist..."That's the plan".

Our marriage has been great up till now. We barely even argue and when we do, it's always about money. Which ends up not being a big deal.

[Liam]

Amazing how much of this is going on (all of the sudden it seems).

My only input is 1: That I belive that Truth always prevails (eventually) and 2: Going to "war" about much of anything is a bad idea.

Also #3 Scientology seems loony to me as well.

[accident]

Amazing how much of this is going on (all of the sudden it seems).

My only input is 1: That I belive that Truth always prevails (eventually) and 2: Going to "war" about much of anything is a bad idea.

Also #3 Scientology seems loony to me as well.

+1

Keep your head up and hope for the best. It's really all that you can do. Try to be proactive about working this out with her.

[Farbin Kaiber]

Josh, I hope you know where I stand on the religion portion of your issue, but the relationship part, I cannot imagine how tough it is for you. I know you have already placed doubts in her mind by seeing the one she loves finding the truth, and it may or may not be enough to sway her to look for the truth as well. I hope for the best outcome for the both of you.

[AndrewBird]

Think of it from this aspect. You are telling her to her face that what she believes in is a lie and you are proving it to her with facts. That's a tough realization to come by. I'm not saying you are wrong about any of it, but just try and see it from the other side.

[h0lmes]

Oh that's nothing compared to the bullshit perpetrated by the Christian Church. Religion of any kind is a plague and needs to be eradicated. It really is a disgusting and embarrassing feature of humanity.

Sorry to hear about the strain that this is putting on your relationship. What you need to do is reason with her. Lay out the arguments and evidence for your claims in such a manner that she cannot refute. Don't pressure her or bombard her all the time, but look for subtle opportunities where you can make a point. If she is a reasonable human being, she will eventually come to understand what an amazing tool logic and rational thought can be. Best of luck to you.

[jrhaile]

Oh that's nothing compared to the bullshit perpetrated by the Christian Church. Religion of any kind is a plague and needs to be eradicated. It really is a disgusting and embarrassing feature of humanity.

Sorry to hear about the strain that this is putting on your relationship. What you need to do is reason with her. Lay out the arguments and evidence for your claims in such a manner that she cannot refute. Don't pressure her or bombard her all the time, but look for subtle opportunities where you can make a point. If she is a reasonable human being, she will eventually come to understand what an amazing tool logic and rational thought can be. Best of luck to you.

Not even CLOSE. You know nothing about the Christian church obviously so don't speak. You took this opportunity to slam a church and relgion in which you only know what you hear in the media and anthiest sites. Please refrain from even remotely comparing the Christian church to a Scientology one.

As someone who has studied religion for over 7 years, this is a very tough decision you made, Josh. When someone is brought up into something as tight knit as scientology, it's VERY hard to convince them otherwise. And the fact she has already told you she chose family over you really doesn't help your cause. If you truly love her, continue to try but you are fighting an uphill battle.

I must praise you though for leaving the church especially one as intimidating as the Scientology one. You have massive balls.

My wife and I were both brought up Christian. She has recently tried re-discovering her "faith" but I'm having a hard time following suit. This has brought some tension into our house a bit because I don't fully believe everything in the bible and generally try to tell her that things in the bible are stories meant to be used for guides as a way to live life. She on the other hand will respond with "you don't believe in God then because this is what he wanted in the bible." It's an uphill battle for me as well but I don't think it's that bad where it will really change our relationship because we generally don't discuss it unless we're watching the history channel :D

[daniel]

Oh that's nothing compared to the bullshit perpetrated by the Christian Church. Religion of any kind is a plague and needs to be eradicated. It really is a disgusting and embarrassing feature of humanity.

this thread isn't about religion. and to say that religion is a disgusting and embarrassing feature of humanity only shows how ignorant you are.

to joshh: as others have mentioned, i think the main reason this is so hard for her is because you are causing her to doubt herself, which is one of the biggest struggles anyone can go through. i hope, for your sake and the sake of your marriage, that she "comes to her senses". this is so much harder though, since she has a family and friends that she would basically lose by denouncing her beliefs.

[SamE30e]

I think the r3v general idea today is "Fuck bitches".

[h0lmes]

Not even CLOSE. You know nothing about the Christian church obviously so don't speak. You took this opportunity to slam a church and relgion in which you only know what you hear in the media and anthiest sites. Please refrain from even remotely comparing the Christian church to a Scientology one.

As someone who has studied religion for over 7 years, this is a very tough decision you made, Josh. When someone is brought up into something as tight knit as scientology, it's VERY hard to convince them otherwise. And the fact she has already told you she chose family over you really doesn't help your cause. If you truly love her, continue to try but you are fighting an uphill battle.

I must praise you though for leaving the church especially one as intimidating as the Scientology one. You have massive balls.

My wife and I were both brought up Christian. She has recently tried re-discovering her "faith" but I'm having a hard time following suit. This has brought some tension into our house a bit because I don't fully believe everything in the bible and generally try to tell her that things in the bible are stories meant to be used for guides as a way to live life. She on the other hand will respond with "you don't believe in God then because this is what he wanted in the bible." It's an uphill battle for me as well but I don't think it's that bad where it will really change our relationship because we generally don't discuss it unless we're watching the history channel :D

Oh really? I was a Christian for the majority of my life. I did the whole church thing, read the bible, mission trips, etc. I believed it because I was young and didn't know any better. I had yet to come up with any opinions of my own and believed whatever was told to me. Then as I grew into an adult, I began forming my own opinions. It was at this time that I also started taking University Philosophy courses which in turn led me to realize how completely superior reason is to faith.

Do you know what faith is? It is belief without reason. Now tell me, do you really think it is a good thing to believe something without any reason or evidence just for the sake of it? What is the point? What is the point in believing that there is a man living in the sky who answers prayer, punishes people, lays waste to entire cities but "loves" everybody at the same time? It is just so ridiculous I cannot even comprehend why anybody would choose to believe this crap. I cannot understand why people choose to believe that the Earth is only 5000 years old and that people were created as opposed to a geologic and evolutionary scientific view of the universe based on hard evidence. It is a giant joke.

[accident]

I think the r3v general idea every day is "Fuck bitches".

fixed

[jrhaile]

Oh really? I was a Christian for the majority of my life. I did the whole church thing, read the bible, mission trips, etc. I believed it because I was young and didn't know any better. I had yet to come up with any opinions of my own and believed whatever was told to me. Then as I grew into an adult, I began forming my own opinions. It was at this time that I also started taking University Philosophy courses which in turn led me to realize how completely superior reason is to faith.

There's your problem.

It's okay for people to believe in a higher power. I don't see what your deal is with it? So what, they believe in magical stories whoopti doo. And maybe because this world is so fucked up that maybe, just maybe people want to know or think there is a reason for it all. You're right it all may be a bunch of bullshit and when we're dead and gone, that's it. So be it. Until then, all you're doing is looking like an ignorant brain-washed asshole.

[h0lmes]

this thread isn't about religion. and to say that religion is a disgusting and embarrassing feature of humanity only shows how ignorant you are.

to joshh: as others have mentioned, i think the main reason this is so hard for her is because you are causing her to doubt herself, which is one of the biggest struggles anyone can go through. i hope, for your sake and the sake of your marriage, that she "comes to her senses". this is so much harder though, since she has a family and friends that she would basically lose by denouncing her beliefs.

So the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, Jihad, etc. are not disgusting features of humanity? You are the ignorant one if you think religion is moral. The Bible clearly states that adulterers should be stoned to death, children that talk back to their parents should be stoned to death, one should sacrifice their child to God, God is justified in laying waste to entire cities, homosexuals are going to hell, slavery is ok, women should always be subservient to men. Maybe you should read the Bible in full instead of conveniently glossing over these glaring immoral acts condoned within it.

[jrhaile]

So the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, Jihad, etc. are not disgusting features of humanity? You are the ignorant one if you think religion is moral. The Bible clearly states that adulterers should be stoned to death, children that talk back to their parents should be stoned to death, one should sacrifice their child to God, God is justified in laying waste to entire cities, homosexuals are going to hell, slavery is ok, women should always be subservient to men. Maybe you should read the Bible in full instead of conveniently glossing over these glaring immoral acts condoned within it.

You are pretty spiteful and angry dude. Maybe you should go back to a religion. It might chill you out.

[Farbin Kaiber]

Oh really? I was a Christian for the majority of my life. I did the whole church thing, read the bible, mission trips, etc. I believed it because I was young and didn't know any better. I had yet to come up with any opinions of my own and believed whatever was told to me. Then as I grew into an adult, I began forming my own opinions. It was at this time that I also started taking University Philosophy courses which in turn led me to realize how completely superior reason is to faith.

I understand you so much more than I did before this post.