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Become good at cheating and you never need to become good at anything else.

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    Become good at cheating and you never need to become good at anything else.

    Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a great and glorious nation. Favorite amongst his subjects was the court painter of whom he was very proud. Everybody agreed this wizened old man painted the greatest pictures in the whole kingdom and the king would spend hours each day gazing at them in wonder. However, one day a dirty and disheveled stranger presented himself at the court claiming that in fact he was the greatest painter in the land. The indignant king decreed a competition would be held between the two artists, confident it would teach the vagabond an embarrassing lesson. Within a month they were both to produce a masterpiece that would out do the other. After thirty days of working feverishly day and night, both artists were ready. They placed their paintings, each hidden by a cloth, on easels in the great hall of the castle. As a large crowd gathered, the king ordered the cloth be pulled first from the court artist’s easel. Everyone gasped as before them was revealed a wonderful oil painting of a table set with a feast. At its center was an ornate bowl full of exotic fruits glistening moistly in the dawn light. As the crowd gazed admiringly, a sparrow perched high up on the rafters of the hall swooped down and hungrily tried to snatch one of the grapes from the painted bowl only to hit the canvas and fall down dead with shock at the feet of the king. ’Aha!’ exclaimed the king. ’My artist has produced a painting so wonderful it has fooled nature herself, surely you must agree that he is the greatest painter who ever lived!’ But the vagabond said nothing and stared solemnly at his feet. ’Now, pull the blanket from your painting and let us see what you have for us,’ cried the king. But the tramp remained motionless and said nothing. Growing impatient, the king stepped forward and reached out to grab the blanket only to freeze in horror at the last moment. ’You see,’ said the tramp quietly, ’there is no blanket covering the painting. This is actually just a painting of a cloth covering a painting. And whereas your famous artist is content to fool nature, I’ve made the king of the whole country look like a clueless little twat."

    #2
    funny
    Originally posted by accident
    I have achieved the title of Douche of the month.
    Discuss.
    Originally posted by kronus
    It was probably pissed off because it didn't want to pay taxes for poor people's healthcare.
    1990 300ZX TT 5spd ($6,000)
    1991 318i 4dr 5spd (DD)

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      #3
      hahahaahha

      Comment


        #4
        did they use the word twat back in those days?

        www.instagram.com/dsloanphoto

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          #5
          Originally posted by daniel View Post
          did they use the word twat back in those days?
          I could find out for you.
          Originally posted by accident
          I have achieved the title of Douche of the month.
          Discuss.
          Originally posted by kronus
          It was probably pissed off because it didn't want to pay taxes for poor people's healthcare.
          1990 300ZX TT 5spd ($6,000)
          1991 318i 4dr 5spd (DD)

          Comment


            #6
            nah they usually went with "the maker of sammiches orifice" or so the wise men say.
            Jah bless! :pimp:

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              #7
              And then the kings artist painted the execution of the visitor.
              Im now E30less.
              sigpic

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                #8
                Originally posted by daniel View Post
                did they use the word twat back in those days?
                I think "cur" would be more period correct.
                Originally posted by LJ851
                I programmed my oven to turn off when my pizza was done, should i start a build thread?

                Feedback

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                  #9
                  The title led me to believe this would be a thread mocking Tiger Woods.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    nice :)


                    Please leave feedback below, thanks

                    http://www.r3vlimited.com/board/showthread.php?t=358170

                    Comment


                      #11
                      awesome way to get your head separated from your body
                      sigpic
                      Originally posted by u3b3rg33k
                      If you ever sell that car, tell me first. I want to be the first to not be able to afford it.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        i just lol'd
                        '91 Brilliantrot 318iS - Sold
                        '95 e34 s50 Touring - P/O
                        '87 Alpine White 325iS - Current

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                          #13
                          hahaha, love it!
                          stephenbrody.com

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                            #14
                            That was great.

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