Sometime this year, *we taxpayers will again receive another “Economic Stimulus” payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, *and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:
Q.What is an 'Economic Stimulus'* payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q.**Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. *So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. *Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition TV set, *thus stimulating the economy.
Q. *But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. *Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
*If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, *the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
*If you spend it on gasoline, *your money will go to the Arabs.
*If you purchase a computer, *it will go to India , Taiwan or China .**
*If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala .
*If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
*If *you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .*
**If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, *it will go to manage- ment bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, *keep the money in America by:
1) *Spending it at yard sales, or
2) *Going to ball games, or**
3) *Spending it on prostitutes, ,or**
4) *Beer or**
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !
No need to thank me, *I'm just glad I could be of help.
This is indeed a very exciting program, *and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:
Q.What is an 'Economic Stimulus'* payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q.**Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. *So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. *Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition TV set, *thus stimulating the economy.
Q. *But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. *Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
*If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, *the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
*If you spend it on gasoline, *your money will go to the Arabs.
*If you purchase a computer, *it will go to India , Taiwan or China .**
*If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala .
*If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
*If *you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .*
**If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, *it will go to manage- ment bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, *keep the money in America by:
1) *Spending it at yard sales, or
2) *Going to ball games, or**
3) *Spending it on prostitutes, ,or**
4) *Beer or**
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !
No need to thank me, *I'm just glad I could be of help.
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