So the other day while at a thrift shop I happened upon this trophy and decided it needed to become an award for me house mates and i to compete for (there are 7 of us).
The trophy
After some thought I created this:
The Minister of Manliness Competition
Here Ye Here Ye,
Today the ____ Day of ______ Year_____ the men of 11211 N Normandie will compete to see who shall hold the title of Minister of Manliness for the time period of one month.
The competition shall consist of 5 tests of manliness that shall determine who holds the trophy over all others who fail at being a man.
1) Mario Kart Kingdom: This is a tournament style competition that will place 2 Men of the house against each other in a best out of 4 competition racing the Mushroom Cup. Each man may choose whichever racer he would like for the series of races. Whoever wins the best out of 4 advances; In the case of a tie, the tie-breaker will be a Mario Kart Battle on Block Fort using the same racer as in the previous events. After all the men have raced, whoever “stayed on” the longest, or has the most wins will be named the Champion of this competition. 5 points awarded to the champion, 3 for second place, and 1 point for third.
2) Wits get Tits: This next competition will be a battle of the mind. A third party will choose one riddle, puzzle, or question of logic and give 5 minutes for each man to write a solution or answer. Whoever is closest or gets the correct answer wins 5 points. As for the losers of this event; they shall each be given thirty seconds to explain why they deserve any points and the third party will award points based on awesomeness in logic, humor, or out of sympathy for just being plain dumb.
3) Man or Gentlemen: This will be a test of style and class. Each man will be blindfolded and given a neck tie, and be directed to tie it properly. There will not be a timed event (within reason), as you cannot rush perfection. The same third party used in event number two will be the judge of who ties the best knot. This will be a ranked event giving 5 points to the winner, 3 points for second place, 1 point for third place, and no points for all other competitors because if your worse than third at tying a tie, you just suck.
4) Battle of the Ages: This will be a test of courage, strength, and honor. Each man will be given one Nerf Sword (all swords will be equal), upon receiving a sword the men will enter the battlefield of North Normandie (the back yard) and stand in a circle with their backs together, at which point they will count to five in unison. On the count of 5 all men will take 5 steps forward and turn around and then battle will ensue. This will be a realistic battle; if you get hit in the arm you lose that arm, same goes for hands, legs, feet, etc… A blow to the torso results in your death, as does a blow to the head. If there is a tie between two men in striking blows upon one anther both men will lose whatever limb was hit or die if a fatal blow was laid. Since this is a competition for the Minister of Manliness no alliances or other such bullshit will be tolerated under the penalty of death. This will not be a points event, whoever is the winner shall receive 5 points, and to all others no points shall be awarded for there is no honor in death or disfigurement.
5) Jack of all Trades: This is the last and final test to determine who gets to hold the trophy of Minister of Manliness for the month. This will test all your qualities of a man or lack thereof. This will be an obstacle course encompassing all other Minister of Manliness Competitions.
a. After event 4 each man will have no more than five minutes to put on the most stylish, ridiculous, or asinine outfit possible before reporting to the starting line at the Southern most end of North Normandie. The third party will give each man a score between 1 and 5 (one being the worst, five the best) for his attire.
b. At the signal all men will race with swords in hand (slashing others is encouraged, but there is no penalty imposed on those who are slashed) towards 11211 North Normandie.
c. Upon reaching our castle you must slide under the central garage door in make your way through the garage towards the battle field (back yard).
d. At the door to the battle field there will be a third party. He or she will ask you a general knowledge question before you can pass through. If you get the question right, you will be permitted to pass. If you answer incorrectly a 3 second penalty will be imposed before you can pass onto the back yard.
e. Upon entering the back yard each man will be assigned a target and 3 baseballs or similar items to throw hit his target with. If a man throws all 3 balls at the target without striking it, another 3 second penalty will be imposed before he can move on to the final test.
f. The final test is a beer shot gun. Each man will have a beer and a standard key. Whoever shotguns his beer in its entirety first will be the winner of this competition. If a competitor is not drinking on the day of the competition his beer shot gunning will be replaced with a 5 second addition to his time.
First place in this event will yield 10 points, second place is worth 5, third is worth 3, and fourth is worth 1.
After the events have concluded the points will be tallied and the months Minister of Manliness will be awarded his trophy and will be expected to give an acceptance speech. Lastly photograph of you at the moment of your victory shall be hung for all to see with your title “The Minister of Manliness” printed above it.
In the event of a tie the men will be placed 10 paces apart in on the battlefield with their swords and must fight to the death.
Event Rules:
1) You must have your sword on your hip at all times during the event, but cannot use it to impede other men during any events other than the battle and final challenge.
2) Drinking beer is encouraged but not required during this competition. However, for each beer a man consumes in its entirety during the course of the competition he will be awarded half a point.
3) There will be no sore loser, bad sports, bitching, whining, or general feminine waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles bullshit tolerated during the competition. Any such behavior is subject to a point’s deduction if deemed appropriate by the third party overseer.
4) Lastly, all men are created equal and thus have the same opportunity to be call themselves the Minister of Manliness.
The trophy
After some thought I created this:
The Minister of Manliness Competition
Here Ye Here Ye,
Today the ____ Day of ______ Year_____ the men of 11211 N Normandie will compete to see who shall hold the title of Minister of Manliness for the time period of one month.
The competition shall consist of 5 tests of manliness that shall determine who holds the trophy over all others who fail at being a man.
1) Mario Kart Kingdom: This is a tournament style competition that will place 2 Men of the house against each other in a best out of 4 competition racing the Mushroom Cup. Each man may choose whichever racer he would like for the series of races. Whoever wins the best out of 4 advances; In the case of a tie, the tie-breaker will be a Mario Kart Battle on Block Fort using the same racer as in the previous events. After all the men have raced, whoever “stayed on” the longest, or has the most wins will be named the Champion of this competition. 5 points awarded to the champion, 3 for second place, and 1 point for third.
2) Wits get Tits: This next competition will be a battle of the mind. A third party will choose one riddle, puzzle, or question of logic and give 5 minutes for each man to write a solution or answer. Whoever is closest or gets the correct answer wins 5 points. As for the losers of this event; they shall each be given thirty seconds to explain why they deserve any points and the third party will award points based on awesomeness in logic, humor, or out of sympathy for just being plain dumb.
3) Man or Gentlemen: This will be a test of style and class. Each man will be blindfolded and given a neck tie, and be directed to tie it properly. There will not be a timed event (within reason), as you cannot rush perfection. The same third party used in event number two will be the judge of who ties the best knot. This will be a ranked event giving 5 points to the winner, 3 points for second place, 1 point for third place, and no points for all other competitors because if your worse than third at tying a tie, you just suck.
4) Battle of the Ages: This will be a test of courage, strength, and honor. Each man will be given one Nerf Sword (all swords will be equal), upon receiving a sword the men will enter the battlefield of North Normandie (the back yard) and stand in a circle with their backs together, at which point they will count to five in unison. On the count of 5 all men will take 5 steps forward and turn around and then battle will ensue. This will be a realistic battle; if you get hit in the arm you lose that arm, same goes for hands, legs, feet, etc… A blow to the torso results in your death, as does a blow to the head. If there is a tie between two men in striking blows upon one anther both men will lose whatever limb was hit or die if a fatal blow was laid. Since this is a competition for the Minister of Manliness no alliances or other such bullshit will be tolerated under the penalty of death. This will not be a points event, whoever is the winner shall receive 5 points, and to all others no points shall be awarded for there is no honor in death or disfigurement.
5) Jack of all Trades: This is the last and final test to determine who gets to hold the trophy of Minister of Manliness for the month. This will test all your qualities of a man or lack thereof. This will be an obstacle course encompassing all other Minister of Manliness Competitions.
a. After event 4 each man will have no more than five minutes to put on the most stylish, ridiculous, or asinine outfit possible before reporting to the starting line at the Southern most end of North Normandie. The third party will give each man a score between 1 and 5 (one being the worst, five the best) for his attire.
b. At the signal all men will race with swords in hand (slashing others is encouraged, but there is no penalty imposed on those who are slashed) towards 11211 North Normandie.
c. Upon reaching our castle you must slide under the central garage door in make your way through the garage towards the battle field (back yard).
d. At the door to the battle field there will be a third party. He or she will ask you a general knowledge question before you can pass through. If you get the question right, you will be permitted to pass. If you answer incorrectly a 3 second penalty will be imposed before you can pass onto the back yard.
e. Upon entering the back yard each man will be assigned a target and 3 baseballs or similar items to throw hit his target with. If a man throws all 3 balls at the target without striking it, another 3 second penalty will be imposed before he can move on to the final test.
f. The final test is a beer shot gun. Each man will have a beer and a standard key. Whoever shotguns his beer in its entirety first will be the winner of this competition. If a competitor is not drinking on the day of the competition his beer shot gunning will be replaced with a 5 second addition to his time.
First place in this event will yield 10 points, second place is worth 5, third is worth 3, and fourth is worth 1.
After the events have concluded the points will be tallied and the months Minister of Manliness will be awarded his trophy and will be expected to give an acceptance speech. Lastly photograph of you at the moment of your victory shall be hung for all to see with your title “The Minister of Manliness” printed above it.
In the event of a tie the men will be placed 10 paces apart in on the battlefield with their swords and must fight to the death.
Event Rules:
1) You must have your sword on your hip at all times during the event, but cannot use it to impede other men during any events other than the battle and final challenge.
2) Drinking beer is encouraged but not required during this competition. However, for each beer a man consumes in its entirety during the course of the competition he will be awarded half a point.
3) There will be no sore loser, bad sports, bitching, whining, or general feminine waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles bullshit tolerated during the competition. Any such behavior is subject to a point’s deduction if deemed appropriate by the third party overseer.
4) Lastly, all men are created equal and thus have the same opportunity to be call themselves the Minister of Manliness.
Comment