you run out of toilet paper, WHAT DO YOU DO!?!?!?

[Axxe]

first thing I do is look to see that the stall has paper. That's rule 1.

[e30slidewayz]

I look for the presence of TP before taking the public shit because I mummify the toilet seat before sitting (unless they have those flushable toilet seat covers). However, if at home and I discover no TP, I raid the cabinet underneath the sink or the towel/linen closet until I find something suitable (I've used these little cotton square makeup pad removal things my girl has stowed away, they work great). If I must stand and go to the other bathroom, the duck waddle is the way to go.

[mrsleeve]

I have gone into the woods full clothed and come out sans shirt sleeves and socks, one time even my whole t-shirt was needed for proper clean up.


Did I mention I have IBS, and Have been gotten outta couple of speeding tickets that way, one right at my house as I pulled in, threatened to shit on the hood of the cop car if I could not get in to shit, while he wrote the ticket. He let me off when I came back outta the house with a "very relived look on my face and a not so urgent demeanor" LOL .

[cabriodster87]

Reminds me of a joke my grampa told: So this traveving salesman pulls up to a farmhouse and says to the farmer. "Mornin sir, ive got to jobbie sumthin fierce. May i use your facilities? the farmer says "sure thing, the out house is right down yonder". The salesman takes off for the outhouse and just before he gets there he finds himself lying on the ground, pants full of shit. Looking up the farmer yells "I forgot to tell you to watch out for the laundry wire". The salesman then replies, " That's alright, i wasn't gonna make it anyway" ba dum bump

[Desaevious]

first thing I do is look to see that the stall has paper. That's rule 1.

[deutschman]

Use the toilet seat covers...

[Gubernaculum]

I usually just use $100 bills if there's no TP.


I almost always check, but actually, at least once I've ripped off the empty cardboard TP roll, separated the cardboard into paper, and used that.

My OCD habit is being deathly afraid of backsplash in a public toilet, so I dump a ton of toilet paper into the water before I even sit down to prevent splashing. I can't imagine not being able to use public toilets, though I once opted to dump in the parking lot rather than a filthy bar stall.

Good poop talk.

P.s. sig above me is epic.

[Joe G]

squeeze a chocolate bar until it melts in my hand, covering it in chocolate then reach under the stall divider and ask the neighboring occupant for some TP.





Or flush, then stick my bare ass in the clean water shake it around, flush again and leave.

[Raxe]

Man up and use my shirt.

[noE30]

Wait till everyone leaves, then wash your ass in the sink, pretty straightforward.

I damn near died laughing from this, good job!

[craiggroves91]

Heres a sccenario:

You're in Visalia, CA where it over 100 degrees and very humid. Its fourth of July and the only bathrooms are about 7 portapotties.
You have to shit so bad it'll fly out if you stop clenching your ass cheeks.

You hurry to the portapotties before shit is running down your leg only to see about 40 people waiting in line.

Worse shit experience ever

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk

[dannyyisntt]

Que scene from step brothers

[IRON-E]

This happened once, in a different scenario to one of my brother's friends.
The guy got pulled over for speeding, after telling the cop that he needed to take a shit and needed to get to a bathroom, the cop allowed him to go in the bushes, thinking he was BSing his way out of a ticket.
They guy took a shit and proceeded to remove his shoes and socks. Went to town with the socks, cops got grossed out, tell him to pour dirt on his shit and he gets away without a ticket.......

Story sounds gross, but it makes me rofl to think about it.

[F34R]

I have not used a public bathroom for a #2 is about 13 years....EVER!

One of my wonderful OCD habits.

[trackjunkie21]

Wait till everyone leaves, then wash your ass in the sink, pretty straightforward.