Your worst deuce experience? NWS?

[TurboJake]

I once accidentally ate some moldy Parmesan cheese.

Don't eat moldy Parmesan cheese. You WILL shit the bed in your sleep.

If it's hot that night and you don't wear any skivvies, you'll also shit:
All over your dog.
And partially on your woman.
AND YOUR LAPTOP!

And have a really, really shitty night after that.


I'm very strict on how old our parmesan cheese is now.

[ohthejosh]

I was on a road trip and had to take the biggest shiit ever. All I had was a Mcdonalds paper bag. It was a rather large paper bag but nonetheless my shiit was too heavy for it. Ripped that bag like it was toilet paper. Left it on the side of the road. :D

[AsharC]

Reading this thread while eating a bag of chips lmao

[E30_Pare]

You my friend had the "Dumb & Dumber" experience. Lawls

[Pantless Spency]

That reminds me,
Way back when me and my gf just started dating we were home alone and she had just gone in the bathroom, I get the urged to shit so I go to her parents bathroom and drop a deuce, successful poop and wiping, then I go to flush and it is acting
Clogged, so then I have to ask for the plunger, super embarressed, and I still can't get it to go down, then she comes in and shows me that you have to hold down the lever for like 8 seconds -_- so embarressed hahahha.

[E30_Pare]

*title edited for accuracy

[E30_Pare]

U men deliver teh lolz. ^^^

[Varinn]

I can't think of any horrendous moments like that but I always hated when me and the gf had just gotten together. The bathroom in her place is directly beside the main living area and bedroom so every time you use it you're forced to sit their half clenched trying to quietly squeeze out a turd with a constant fear of letting out a seemingly wall rattling ripper. For the first 6 months I would make the effort to hold that shit in until I got home to my own place where I could release the thundering gush from my lower intestines without fear of a sex ban for the remainder of the day. After the first year when the visits turned into multi day situations more often than not, I stopped caring. I now drop bombs at will and she has learned to accept my given right as a man.

When I wish to poop, I may do so without retribution!

[MarshallM]

I was hiking Latourell falls at the Gorge (hike is in a canyonish setting with no off trail to speak). Heading back with about 3-4 miles to go I feel stomach pains telling me poo is coming and I have nothing to say in the matter. Not knowing how much time I have I start running down the trail. The downhill race sloshed the volitile mixture in my stomach causing even more urge to blow. I make it down to the bottom and book it down an embankment to get off the road in a sweaty panic. No time to think I take off my pants and blast away in the crabwalk position. The flies joind the party almost immediatly practically flying up my ass and to top it off my two buddies thought it would be funny to huck pinecones at me.

My mom told me a funny story of when I was a kid playing soccer. It was a game at some random park and my mom was chatting it up with one of the high class soccer moms. I guess it was the womans first time ever using a porta potty and she told my mom she was suprised how classy the porta potty was. It even had a plastic shelf next to place her purse. My mom never told her that shelf was a urinal she put her purse in.

[E30_Pare]

When i was 18 I was a milkman. Id deliver shit at 4am and nothing was open. Im driving my Divco along and i feel the pressure start to build. I figure i can hold off till sunrise and stuff starts to open but this time it aint happening. I pulled over... Grabbed a half gallon of homogenized whole milk and thought better of it. i put it down, grabbed the 2% and opened the carton and dumped it out the door of the divco while frantically trying to free my ass from its denim prison. Hovering over the 5x5 square opening i took aim and let er go. SCORE. perfect execution. Wiped my ass with my underwear and i was off to my next stop. time elapsed... less than a minute

Slam dunk! I can only imagine the catharsis after that dump

[m73m95]

I used to live up in the mtns above Denver....about an hour trip from civilization to my home. One night, after some bar hopping (I wasn't drunk, knowing I had to drive home...) I was headed home. 2am up a dark canyon road, and all of a sudden I had to shit...NOW. Nothing around, I locked up the brakes, and pulled to the side of the road, put it in park, and ran for the guard rail. Ripped down my pants and unloaded. SUCCESS! Missed my pants, full moon, and 2 deer drinking from the stream below the road.... What was a terrifying moment, turned into one of the best shits of my life. Wiped my arse with some paper towels I had in my truck, and pulled up my pants. Walking back to the truck, round 2 of insta-shit came rushing back..... I couldn't get pants off fast enough. Filled both legs. I was the most disappoint I have ever been. I was so relaxed from the initial successful shat, that I couldn't react fast enough for round 2 :(

[accident]

wat

[mrsleeve]

in a milk carton (2%)

thought it was a pringles can ???

[blunttech]

What spell did u use to achieve this? It's not showing in my dungeons & dragons manual.



I thought we agreed to never bring that up again. Anyways it wasn't that bad right ;)

When i was 18 I was a milkman. Id deliver shit at 4am and nothing was open. Im driving my Divco along and i feel the pressure start to build. I figure i can hold off till sunrise and stuff starts to open but this time it aint happening. I pulled over... Grabbed a half gallon of homogenized whole milk and thought better of it. i put it down, grabbed the 2% and opened the carton and dumped it out the door of the divco while frantically trying to free my ass from its denim prison. Hovering over the 5x5 square opening i took aim and let er go. SCORE. perfect execution. Wiped my ass with my underwear and i was off to my next stop. time elapsed... less than a minute

[Fusion]

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Inconspicuously_Poop_in_the_Urinal

http://www.poopreport.com/fun/the_urinal_poop_scandal_confessions_of_a_turd_terrorist.html

You shit in the urinal, not for revenge for some wrong you had suffered , but just for the hell of it. I wish you had lost your job much earlier. If I had access to your pantry I would shit in your cornflakes and see how funny you thought that was.

i am a female and have never had to encounter a urinal before except to clean one. i can not imagine the horror and disgust on the face of the person who had to clean that up. ugh! i worked in fast food for several years and have seen some pretty disgusting shit in bathrooms and had to clean it in my time.