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[Rsully70sev]

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[mtechnik]

Absolutely heart-wrenching man! :(
So sorry for your losses..

[randomquickness]

Sincerest condolences. Sadly time is the only remedy. My best friend was killed a few years ago. There isn't a day that goes by he doesn't pop into my mind but now it's just the good memories and not the pain of the loss. The pain will fade but it is NOT a quick process when it's people you're very close to. Again, sorry for your losses.

[LJ851]

Dude, i am so sorry. I even can't imagine the feelings you are feeling right now.

Time will heal your heart and try not numb yourself too much with the bottle, the end of that road is a place you don't want to be and your friends wouldn't want you to be there.

Be thankful for the time you did get to share your lives together and try not to focus on what could have been. How would you want Alyssa and Trey to live if they were the ones hearing you had died?

May your friends rest in peace.

[JasonC]

Title is a little misleading. But sorry to hear about your losses. How did your second buddy pass away?

[DaveNorCal]

Rob, we have never communicated and I am a relatively new member and two generations removed from you. Still... "Time heals all wounds" or so they say. I am really sorry to hear of your losses and the pain you are feeling. Try not to be an alcohol casualty in the short term, or a drunk in the long-term over this. Sometimes having someone to talk to helps traumatized people regain their bearings and direction.

[TimbyMaTombo]

I can't relate to two losses so quickly, but my mom passed away when I was 12, so I can understand your feeling. My dad chose the alcohol route to recovery and if you have any doubts about your self-control, I recommend avoiding it as much as possible. My dad was an alcoholic and unbearable to be around, and I'd hate for that to happen to you too. I'll be praying for you and I hope there is something you can find to bring you even a little comfort. Looking back on the happy memories you guys had can help a lot and try to focus more on that than the hurt of the loss. They were lucky to have such a loving friend and I'm sure they wouldn't want to see you hurt and resorting to alcohol to numb the pain.

I'll be praying, and although we have never talked, if yo need someone to just talk to, I got your back, and I'd love to hear some of the great memories you had with your friends.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Peter

[Deathtoll]

That's terrible and I'm sorry for your losses.

In our busy lives we tend to forget how precious our friends and family are.. We take everything for granted too often.

Take things one day at a time and stay busy, perhaps call up a few people you haven't spoken to for a while.

Nobody should have to go so young.

[deutschman]

I feel for your losses. I have shared stuff like this on R3V ones before when one of my good friends unexpectedly killed him self. Some times it helps to share stories like this in an open place. Just to write it out and share it helps a bit.
I really can not say I know how you feel. I have never lost as much as you have in so little time, but I can say this. Do not fall back on alcohol. As much as I understand why you would do it, do not. It leads down all the wrong paths, and how sad would it be to destroy your self after loosing your two friends. Alcohol is only a crutch, and a bad short lived friend that will show you a good time and spit you out all the worse for wear.
You need to live your life all the more vigorously. Live your life for your two friends who wont get to do the amazing things you will get to do. Turn your destructive pain into a motivational force that will help you be a stronger man. Realize that life is defined by impermanence and that everything has an end, and that you need to live every day to its fullest. Sadness and loss are part of the human condition and so many of us are defined in part by how we choose to deal with these incredibly difficult situations.
As impossible as it may seam to you try and celebrate your life and the lives of your friends. Remember the good times you all had together and celebrate your two loved ones for the amazing people they were and always will be.
All this will pass. I hope you find a new joy and happiness in life buddy.
མི་རྟག་པ

Jeremy

[Xat1cZ]

Forward with your life is where you go, altho' some wounds never heal you have to move forward with your life, get new friends and love. Don't try to find anything in the bottom of any bottle either, drugs and alcohol has proven itself to be bad for you on countless occasions when mistreated.

What I do when I want to clear my mind off things is listen to/play music, take a drive with the windows open or just sit out in nature staring at the stars thinking about everything and nothing.

You should find yourself something to do rather than think about feeling sad, and take care of the friends you have left.

[mbonder]

I have endured a similar tragic event, 12 years off now, but I can remember the day like it was yesterday. I was more of a social butterfly in high school, capable of mingling with any group of people, but I didn't really consider too many people to be close friends, with the exception of four guys. During the winter of my junior year, I walked into school like it was any other day only to find out that one of my best friends (one of those four guys) had died only a couple hours earlier after a 12 hour fight in the emergency room battling an aneurysm in his stomach.

The wrenching pain that I felt instantly literally knocked me to the ground, I'm sure that you know that feeling, like you can't move, like the air around you is squeezing you. I was 17 at the time, slightly younger than you, but the experience is the same. The three other guys had real trouble coping with all of this. One turned to drugs and spent the next four years isolated and in a tailspin (it was as if another friend had died right in front of me), a third friend started drinking and to this day has a drinking problem that he can't kick. The foundation of what I knew to that point in my life crumbled that morning when I walked into school and it truly has never been the same.

I am still friends with the other three guys, but life is never the same again. Your life will never be the same again, but it will be life nonetheless. Please stay away from drinking, one of my best buddies turned himself into a two bottles of wine a night alcoholic in a matter of a couple of years, and really can't stop. The danger is real and that slope is very slippery.

My suggestion to you would be to take up something that will distract you, even if it is only momentary. It was at this point that I started working on e30s and I spent many many hours that first year of having a car working on mine in an effort to keep my mind off of what had happened. I also worked out religiously, two hours a day, every day, because the endorphins from exercise would block out the pain. Choose positive ways to cope, not negatives like alcohol or drugs, in the end, the pain will fade, but addiction might not.

Matt

[ZM Blue Devil]

Sorry for your loss, may the rest in peace.

[Farbin Kaiber]

I've been through this ringer as well, about 8-10 years ago. First, a girlfriend "accidentally" OD'ed on scripts that were written to her, and a close friend crashed his bike on the freeway at 120mph into an overpass support, then a friend that went to both funerals with me OD'ed after going into a program and successfully graduating, and decided he could have just another taste.

I went to his funeral, then to his family home for a big blow out celebration with all our friends. I went in the house to use the restroom after I had heard that was where he passed. I went to wash my hands and then looked up above the mirror and saw the blood mist, and in that moment, I had an almost out of body experience, and felt as if I was there, watching him rig up, and hit the vein, then watched as he slipped out of consciousness, and fell back against the shower and the needle slipped out and misted various walls.

It's tough, and it will always be with you, but you have to go out, and live the best life you can, because you are gonna carry that torch, and experience all those things you will be blessed to that they never will. Don't ever forget them, but don't just "die" to life and toss it all away because they are gone, experience, live, love, and grow, and depending on how you believe, you'll see them again, and they will be keeping an eye out, and helping pull strings for you from the afterlife.

(That's how I think about it anyway...)


Keep your head up brodda, every moment is a gift!

[mrsleeve]

Losing friends is a though thing and especially those that you consider family.


Best wishes to you and everyone else that has been impacted by all this. Time heals all wounds............... RIP

[xxx-Lost-Soul-xxx]

Very Sorry for your loses. May they rest in peace. :(