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    Roommate dilemma

    Bare with me on this. Part of this is looking for advice how to approach the situation, the other part is me just ranting and bitching.

    Little back story first. About two years ago my ex and I split. I needed a place in a pinch, one of my best friend knew a guy right in the neighborhood I wanted to move who needed a roommate. The catch, everything is in my name because he has terrible credit. Whatever, mine's good I had no problem with that, I'm also the only one on the lease. Real nice guy but sort of messy, his room looks like that of a 16yr old girl. Clothes piled everywhere, dirty dishes from god knows when. He's also very hermit like thanks to a video game obsession. I go weeks at a time without seeing him, it's weird. However he respects my space, pays his rent on time and occasionally cleans up and genuinely is a nice dude, we just have NOTHING in common. I don't mind really, it's like having a roommate but not, ha.

    Anyways, fast forward to a few months ago. He starts seeing this girl he met online. She lives in Cleveland which is about a 2.5 hour drive and she doesn't have a car. For awhile he was up there on the weekends. He asked if I minded if she came here for a few days. I told him not at all, my girl is here quite a bit. She would take the bus down or he'd bring her back occasionally. Usually staying the weekend or a few days here and there. Then it was she was down for a week at a time. Supposedly looking for a job and a place to live. That was about 2 months ago.

    Now she has been here for a solid month and half except one weekend they went up to her place. Like I said I rarely even see either of them so I sort of feel like an ass for this bothering me but here's my issues: she doesn't work so she is here all day when we're not. I'm weird about people being in my home when I'm not. Numerous times I've come home and found the front door unlocked and no one else here. I brought that up right away and I think she has a key now...again, not real cool with that either. She doesn't pay rent or help with utilities even though she seemingly lives here now.
    Not exaggerating she takes 4-5 showers a day. Usually in the morning when I need to, right when I get home from work, and in the evening. The water bill has gone up about 20% which I pass on to him so whatever but the inconvenience of having one bathroom and it being occupied often for 20min at a time is getting old. Not to mention the sink top is full of girly ass things and I have to clean the shower drain all the time from her hair..yuck.
    She uses many dishes and never cleans them. They are just set in the sink and washed as needed or until I get fed up and do them. I've mentioned this before to no avail.
    The other morning I came home and some random girl was sleeping on my couch using my pillow (had stayed at the GF's) and his girl was in the shower...again. She left to go somewhere leaving me and random (unattractive) girl in here. Eventually she leaves and left the door partially open and unlocked.

    I could go on about little stuff here and there but they're trivial and come with living with other people. So my dilemma is how to approach this with my roommate. He's a nice dude so I don't want to come off all alpha male and tell him his gf has to leave, but I'm kinda tired of feeling like I have a stranger living in my house. I also loathe confrontation, I avoid it at all costs so I'm trying to think out the best way to confront him without sounding like a jerk. I know I rarely see them and it probably shouldn't bother me but it's starting to get to me. I've lived with a couple before and it's awkward. I don't like feeling out of place in my own home.

    End Rant
    Nick
    91 318is M50 swapped
    05 Honda Pilot

    24V swap thread
    http://www.r3vlimited.com/board/showthread.php?t=302524

    #2
    1. Make paste using Lily of the Valley.
    2. Put inside a Hunt's Snack Pack pudding snack using a syringe on the bottom of the container.
    3. ????
    4. Profit.

    Originally posted by whysimon
    WTF is hello Kitty (I'm 28 with no kids and I don't have cable)

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      #3
      Well, looks like we just found FredK's guilty pleasure...



















































      Intravenous drug use.

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        #4

        Originally posted by whysimon
        WTF is hello Kitty (I'm 28 with no kids and I don't have cable)

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          #5
          Sigh, I have had every kind of roomate drama. Unfortunately you gotta speak up to him and lay it all out there. If he's a rational guy, should be able to work it out. Whatever you do dont try to talk to the GF. Women are irrational crazy people, and will usually make situations worse in these kind of scenarios.
          IG: @Baye30

          FRONT VALENCE IS ZENDER!!! STOP FILLING MY PM BOX PPL!!!

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            #6
            Seriously, this happened to me kinda.

            My room mate has some new stupid ass trashy girl friend, she is underage and not even hot. She is staying there for a few weeks until I jus straight up tell him that she can't stay there unless she splits the rent. She smoked weed, drank, and put a huge cache of dildos in the storage area. Her dad was a cop too.

            Long story short, I told him to get her bitch ass out because she was trashy as shit and annoyed me.

            Just talk to him and tell him its not cool. Next time draft a room mate contract.

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              #7
              this is why I dont have roommates lol.
              I would talk to just the roommate about her getting a job and her own place. 2 weeks or so pass then bring it up to the both of them being a bit more serious about it, let 2 more weeks pass and if still no change she needs to either start paying some rent (if you even want her staying there) or hit the road. if the roommate doesnt like that he can go with her


              Originally posted by LowR3V'in
              It's in the name e30tech not e30offtopic

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                #8
                Wait until they are not home, then take all their stuff to the dump. Claim it must have been a thief that got in when they left the door open.

                When they ask why your shit wasn't stolen, slap them in the face.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by golde30 View Post
                  Sigh, I have had every kind of roomate drama. Unfortunately you gotta speak up to him and lay it all out there. If he's a rational guy, should be able to work it out. Whatever you do dont try to talk to the GF. Women are irrational crazy people, and will usually make situations worse in these kind of scenarios.
                  Fucking this. The dude seems like a good guy and could be reasoned with, but hunny seems like she's taking him for a ride and he doesn't have the balls or the leverage in the relationship to say anything to her. You need to consistently, rationally and logically let him know, how things are isn't cool and that something's gotta change. Your name is on everything too, maybe casually throw that in there.

                  Just throwing in a disclaimer that not all women are irrational balls of feminine fury, but this girl from your description sounds like she is not the type to apply logic and empathy to others, especially when they disagree with her.
                  For all things 24v, check out Markert Motorworks!
                  Originally posted by mbonanni
                  I hate modded emtree, I hate modded cawrz, I hate jdm, I hate swag, I hate stanceyolokids, I hate bags (on cars), I hate stuff that is slowz, I hate tires.

                  I am a pursit now.

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                    #10
                    Suck your roommates dick, that'll show him.



                    No, but seriously though, like everyone else said, talk to your roommate, not your roommates GF. If your roommate still wants to live with you, he probably will listen, and tell the girl to find somewhere else to live, especially since the lease is in your name.

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                      #11
                      yawn
                      2011 1M Alpine white/black
                      1996 Civic white/black
                      1988 M3 lachs/black

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                        #12
                        You should sit BOTH of them down and have a talk. Explain to her that if she's gonna be there all day and makes messes then the least she can do is clean the pad. Do the dishes, maybe some laundry, dust the counters etc. Also explain to them that you don't want strangers coming into the house without prior knowledge. Lastly you need to decide an ultimatum. Explain to him that you're not comfortable living with 2 others people. She needs to find a job and move out within X time period or your roommate will have to move out. Be reasonable and attempt to provide support and help with any concerns or issues they have but stand your ground. If you continue to allow them to live how they are then they will continue to do so. Sometimes it's easier if you write all of this down prior to having the conversation so you don't forget important things. Good luck!
                        1995 SC300 2JZGTE
                        2000 Volvo
                        2006 Civic

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                          #13
                          Yeah, be reasonable but show him you mean business. You give an inch and people take a mile its human nature. Just confront him in a casual manner and tell him how you feel towards the whole situation, he seems like a reasonable guy and should take your thoughts into consideration.
                          - 86' 325i SOLD
                          - 90 318is

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                            #14
                            What everyone else said, basically. You're in a good position, OP as you're the only person on the lease so you have power over situations like this, if need be.

                            Originally posted by SpasticDwarf;n6449866
                            Honestly I built it just to have a place to sit and listen to Hotline Bling on repeat.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by einhander View Post
                              yawn
                              .
                              Lorin


                              Originally posted by slammin.e28
                              The M30 is God's engine.

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