What to do?

[BahnE30]

i know you guys are going to say i'm all EMO and shit, i don't give a fuck, i need to spill this....


long story short, one of my best girl friends mother goes missing about month and a half ago, right away things are quirky, brother reports her missing, not the husband / father. then husband starts acting wierd, won't let cops around the house to search for evidence. about 2 days after she's reported missing, he has a huge fire out back of the house, neighbours say they saw him carring boards and floor coverings out of the house etc... few more days go by, cops get him on some minor drugs / weapons charges, which they've know about this guy for years, but he hasn't bothered anyone and they've got bigger fish to fry. so anyway, about 150 RCMP vehicles swarm the house, arrest him, take my friend her sisters and brother out of the house and put them up with family, they search the property for 2 days. it's an old farm house so it's a 3-4 acre piece of land, they find basically nothing. he gets let out on bail goes home, kids go back home. 4 days ago hunters find a shallow grave about 5-10 clicks away in the woods on another piece of his land. they smelt the rot and thats the only reason they found, RCMP show up do there thing, it has not be publically announced yet, but her msn is r.i.p. so any person with logical common sense can figure it out. my only question is any advice on what i can do for this girl, we've been friends for quite awhile, we're not super tight or anything but we're definatly close. i don't even have any idea what i can say or should say or what to do. all i know is it's fucked everyone in the area knows the father did it. and i hope the bastard gets life.



sorry about the long read.

[browntown]

my only question is any advice on what i can do for this girl...

your avatar answers that question

[misterlance]

Try not to bring it up and bring her life some normalcy.

[Rennsport]

just be there for her. thats all you can do. tell her your there AND ACTUALLY BE THERE!!!
thats one of the biggest mistakes guys make, telling girls they will be there and when the girl needs him, he is busy working on his bimmer (which is something very important btw)

[mtechnik]

wow condolences

[LINUS]

I disagree with misterlance:

DO bring it up - once, quickly and shortly. Let her know that if she wants to talk about it, you'll listen. If she just wants to zone out and spend time together that's cool too. The fact is though, if it's on her mind (and obviously it will be) and you don't give the quick invitation to talk about it she may not feel totally comfortable bringing it up with you whenever something pops in her head about it.
It's sort of a "golden rule" deal - how would you want her to act if you lost your mom? Answer the question and do the same for her.
But just being there will cover 2/3 of the battle. No replacement for quantity of time in situations like this. Especially if you two aren't overly close right now.
Just make sure to check in on her frequently, and if she isn't getting out with her friends, drag her out to a movie - then the only time she has to even make conversation is in the car and she won't feel too ackward. Plus it will show her you care without making a production of things. Just getting out in public is powerful for mental health when things aren't good in life, so don't underrate it.

And it ain't EMO to take care of your friends - it's being a decent human being.

[RCWells]

And it ain't EMO to take care of your friends - it's being a decent human being.

I had a best friend in High School who's dad commited suicide just before we graduated SR. year. We actually weren't best freinds before the suicide, but quickly became so after. I was always there to listen, and mostly, we hung out all summer and stayed busy doing stuff - swimming, basketball, drinking, hanging out w/chicks, whatever. We never really talked much about it, but I was always there if he did want to talk. That's how it goes. Just be there for her and it will mean the world to her.

[trent]

I say you watch Forensic Files, and then start your OWN investigation. Then, you should be banging her.