So I'm asleep and my phone rings and shows a restricted call. Being that it's 3:17 in the fucking morning, I answer and a late-teens male voice tells me that he found me on myspace and wants naked pictures, I tell him that I don't just go around sending naked pictures to anyone and that he has to prove to me that he deserves them. This continues on for about a minute and he hangs up.
This gave me just enough time to wake up and get my thoughts together for round two, which I sensed was coming. Right on cue, at 3:20 AM he rings back. I answer in my best little girl voice: "Dominos Pizza!" After the barrage of homo-erotic name calling I offer to put my big brother (me) on the line. Shuffle the phone agains my shirt, take a deep breath and dive in. The best he could really come up with was "your a fag" and "wow, you're a waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles" so I just kept him talking, calling him things like sweetcheeks and sunshine. When he asked me outright if I was gay, I told him I honestly wasn't sure and that my therapist and I had been trying to sort that out for years. Once I had kept him talking for about ten minutes I changed my demeanor and put on the serious voice that I used to use when denying people refunds when I worked in customer service. I thanked him for his call, and thanked him for spending so much time on the phone, as it made him a lot easier to trace.
From there it just took a quick scroll through my phone book to single out the top five most likely candidates for giving my number out to a prank caller. Ironically, Kate525i was the first to respond to my text message, but some simple interrogation led me elsewhere. As I had been pretty much sure of, it was a "friend" of mine in california who had let her friends use her phone. I told her I had traced the call, and that I had a lot of connections which is why I found her so fast. She appologized profusely and I guilt tripped her a little more about being woken up before hanging up.
I hope it did scare them a little that I was calling them back within ten minutes, whether I "traced" the call or not. My biggest complaint was the complete lack of imagination involve in calling someone at three AM and calling them a waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles. Does no one do voices anymore? Does no one use soundboards? I find it really sad when it's so easy for me to catch a prank caller off guard that I can get them to talk enough to figure out where the call originated. Oh well, I guess we can't all be the Jerky Boys...
Back to bed, work in an hour. Yay.
~Brendan
This gave me just enough time to wake up and get my thoughts together for round two, which I sensed was coming. Right on cue, at 3:20 AM he rings back. I answer in my best little girl voice: "Dominos Pizza!" After the barrage of homo-erotic name calling I offer to put my big brother (me) on the line. Shuffle the phone agains my shirt, take a deep breath and dive in. The best he could really come up with was "your a fag" and "wow, you're a waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles" so I just kept him talking, calling him things like sweetcheeks and sunshine. When he asked me outright if I was gay, I told him I honestly wasn't sure and that my therapist and I had been trying to sort that out for years. Once I had kept him talking for about ten minutes I changed my demeanor and put on the serious voice that I used to use when denying people refunds when I worked in customer service. I thanked him for his call, and thanked him for spending so much time on the phone, as it made him a lot easier to trace.
From there it just took a quick scroll through my phone book to single out the top five most likely candidates for giving my number out to a prank caller. Ironically, Kate525i was the first to respond to my text message, but some simple interrogation led me elsewhere. As I had been pretty much sure of, it was a "friend" of mine in california who had let her friends use her phone. I told her I had traced the call, and that I had a lot of connections which is why I found her so fast. She appologized profusely and I guilt tripped her a little more about being woken up before hanging up.
I hope it did scare them a little that I was calling them back within ten minutes, whether I "traced" the call or not. My biggest complaint was the complete lack of imagination involve in calling someone at three AM and calling them a waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles. Does no one do voices anymore? Does no one use soundboards? I find it really sad when it's so easy for me to catch a prank caller off guard that I can get them to talk enough to figure out where the call originated. Oh well, I guess we can't all be the Jerky Boys...
Back to bed, work in an hour. Yay.
~Brendan
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