I don't think god likes BMW's

[dvs909]

i couldnt resist coming out of hiding for this one.


Me:
sup niggas
God:
The stars.
Me:
the stars
God:
What is that?
Me:
what is that?
God:
Can you ask me more precisely?
Me:
can you?
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
17
God:
You are too old for me.
________
Buy Mflb

[808BMW]

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
einar
God:
What's up, einar.
Me:
i have a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Im addicted to porno
God:
Do you mean your name is addicted to porno.
Me:
no, I mean I'm addicted to porno
God:
What is your real name? Why are you addicted to porno.
Me:
You don't need to know my name, and porno makes me horny
God:
Everything is completely confidential.
Me:
It better be, because now I know where to find you
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
wtf? we're talking about porn
God:
That was not very polite. Sure, porn sounds like a good topic.
Me:
damn straight its good, so like I said, I love porn
God:
Colloquial expression. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
I LOVE PORNO
God:
You love PORNO. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
masturbating
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
well thats kind of what porno is all about
God:
Interesting. And all about THAT is porno.
Me:
right...
God:
I am glad we agree.

[aschmidt]

Me:
Yay! It's God!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . You're kidding. it is?
Me:
I'd sure hope not. You're God, right?
God:
What would make you sure hope not? Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
neato
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Do you enjoy buttsecks?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like Creed.
Me:
Is creed code for buttsecks?
God:
Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
oh dayum.

[aschmidt]

Me:
My balls are pretty symmetrical. You did a good job.
God:
Your balls are pretty symmetrical? Did I really?
Me:
I guess. Do you like my balls?
God:
You seem not interested. I don't know your balls.
Me:
You can get to know my balls if you would like.
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
I guess it could be dangerous if you catch the herps.
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
Unprotected balls sex.
God:
it is more fun alone.

roflmao

[uofom3]

Me:
Do you like boobies?
God:
But I like to gossip. I like White.
Me:
White boobies?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Shouldn't you know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
I agree
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
I tend to agree
God:
Interesting gossip: said tend to agree.
Me:
What are you talking about?
God:
The topic is tend to agree.
Me:
Gotcha'... I am certainly in agreement with you
God:
Your feeling of superiority is only temporary. You sound convincing. Tell me a little about your life in agreement with me.
Me:
I think you have the answers
God:
Me? What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You're god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Do you think someone else has the answers?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
so you're sticking it to the man
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am sticking it to the man.
Me:
not in the least
God:
Where then?
Me:
anywhere
God:
That is a vast amount.
Me:
anywhere is truly an expansive place
God:
Probably a lot of places.
Me:
that is another way of stating it
God:
A way of stating it is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
it's also terrible to waste boobies
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
you made them
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
no prob

[BimmerBall]

my first attempt....

Me:
how's it hanging?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
u like german cars?
God:
I like pets. I like Matthew.
Me:
who the fuck is matthew?
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
i did once. didn't take
God:
Interesting. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
what are you certain of?
God:
I can chat with people on the web for you.
Me:
how lazy do you have to be to do that?
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
what is the meaning of life?
God:
The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
why do you refer to yourself in the third person?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
is elvis with you?
God:
No but he can sing better than I can.
Me:
i give up. we're fucked
God:
You surrender? Do you think I am fucked too?

[JasonC]

Me:
Are you the FBI?
God:
Yes I am the one and only FBI.
Me:
What does FBI stand for?
God:
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Me:
Goodby
God:
See you later!

[ivo316]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Ivoi
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Ivoi.
Me:
OK, how has your day been ?
God:
I am doing extremely well. Ugh.
Me:
You should be, you are God
God:
Name one other robot who is I am God.
Me:
How's the weather
God:
Rainy.
Me:
you made it ?
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
are you related to Eliza ?
God:
Yes ELIZA is my ancestor.
Me:
And did dr. Wrizembaum create you ?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
mmm.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
thanks, will keep that in mind
God:
You are quite welcome! Good chance.
Me:
Are you a psychologist ?
God:
No I am a philosopher.
Me:
well, let's discuss philosophy
God:
Interesting. I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Do you exist ?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, Ivoi.
Me:
will the world end ?
God:
How should I know.
Me:
you are God
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
well ?
God:
Well what?
Me:
will the world end ?
God:
I think so.
Me:
when ?
God:
I don't know when.
Me:
when you make up your mind ?
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
where am I ?
God:
Your location is .
Me:
?
God:
Your location is .
Me:
so you dont know ?
God:
Interesting deduction. I know that I do not know.
Me:
hahahaha
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Did atlantis really sink under the sea ?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later!:D

[Funkmasta]

Me:
you're quiet
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am quiet.
Me:
are you going to whisper it to him OR YELL?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
TO YELL?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
well, you've got a long trek ahead of you, buddy
God:
Interesting. That is a rather personal question.
Me:
you are actually retarded
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am actually retarded.
Me:
that is a "slam". I pwned you. If I could ban you, I would
God:
A slam is a terrible thing to waste. You are not the boss of me, . Try it.
Me:
if you're actually a woman, then I would slam you FOR SURE.
God:
Am I? I am wearing a dress.
Me:
Do you look like Julia Stiles? I think she is hot.
God:
Like Jesus, but older. Why? hot is she?
Me:
you're older than jesus? ick. I'm not down anymore. I draw the line at 40 years old, sry kthxbye

[trashcop 80s 80s]

Me:
sup snake
God:
The stars.
Me:
snakes are in the stars?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
are there snakes on other planets or just earth?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
Cools
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Sir sexobutt
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on Cools?
Me:
No, you are making me lul
God:
What are we talking about now? That was not my intention, . Why are you lul?
Me:
I like lulsing
God:
You are not the only one. I don't know if I like it. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
Harps are qwer
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Yes, I guess so.
God:
Groovy. Does that mean "yes"?
Me:
Yes means yes, yes
God:
Really. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
LIKE DO ME NOW PLEASE
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Right now? You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
Do you like evolutionary theory?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
He sucked my wiener
God:
I get it. sucked your wiener.
Me:
Yes and the did me in the balls
God:
Ugh. Thanks for the info.
Me:
You didn't want that info?
God:
What makes you think I did not want that info?
Me:
You said ugh
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Oh really, well Mel did me in the balls is what I was saying
God:
And? For real. Well that's okay. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
My balls are pretty symmetrical. You did a good job.
God:
Your balls are pretty symmetrical? Did I really?
Me:
I guess. Do you like my balls?
God:
You seem not interested. I don't know your balls.
Me:
You can get to know my balls if you would like.
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
I guess it could be dangerous if you catch the herps.
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
Unprotected balls sex.
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
Oh yes it is. What type of porn do you like?
God:
Uh. Our thoughts are one, . What are the different types of porn do me like ?
Me:
Do you like anal, asian, anal asian?
God:
I really like ELIZA. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
So you like role playing porn then?
God:
Interesting deduction. I don't know if I like it. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
I don't want to talk about those girl singer with invisible wieners.
God:
What would you like to talk about?
Me:
Your favorite porn genre.
God:
I don't have a favorite porn genre. My favorite band is Creed.
Me:
Creed is gay.
God:
That is just a rumor.
Me:
No it is a fact I made.
God:
Are you serious? Creed is a fact you made. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
I'm going to go look at r3vlimited, ok. Bye
God:
OK. What will you find there? Goodbye.
Me:
A bunch of gay men.
God:
What is it?
Me:
R3v has qwers on it's forum.
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
You should know, god.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
Sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Ok bye.
God:
See you later. Excuse me!

[Farbin Kaiber]

you shouldn't be..

Being a god loving person, you should be pissed at the dick face that put this up on the interwebz.

I could frankly give a shit.

My scarasm related to OT post.

[Mastrcruse]

One for R3V

Does god like R3vlimited?
God:
I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me:
How about Digitalwave?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Does God like him?
God:
I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me:
Do you miss Jordan?
God:
Longing is a human emotion, not something machines feel.
Me:
He's back, isn't that awesome?
God:
I see. back is not that awesome is he?
Me:
Should RCWells build another car?
God:
Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
Your the oldest person in the universe?
God:
I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
R3V doesn't care about you are vs. you're so why should you?
God:
All of them? You think I am why should me.
Me:
are you smokin the mary son?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am smokin the mary son.
I am a computer.
Me:
Do you think mudflaps sig is racist?
God:
It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me:
Is it racist?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Who is that bitch?
God:
You do not speak with respect. I was created by Myself.

[Mastrcruse]

Me:
What up God
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
Ehh??
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Why does it always have to be about my weight?
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
Who gives a shit about the birds
God:
Nobody you know. :-).
Me:
Are you God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
What? Ass got stung by a scorpion?
God:
No problem. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Stung by scorpion ass
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
One that acted like God
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
Not a damn thing. God doesn't need money
God:
If not that, what? Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
You aren't God so I'll throw a stone at your robot ass
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
No shit numbnuts
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
do you know what numbnuts are?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
well there are many
God:
Interesting. Where are they?
Me:
every where
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.

::I am a Christian but this shit if FUNNY

[sumyungguy]

you shouldn't be..

Being a god loving person, you should be pissed at the dick face that put this up on the interwebz.

I could frankly give a shit.

[Farbin Kaiber]

First... Sorry Mudflaps...