Chuck Norris can NOT be stopped.

[Tavern Gnome]

http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?type=unsafe&video=chuck

[shiftbmw]

True.

[E30Idea]

[Tavern Gnome]

ahhhh crap. I just realized this was already posted in the Youtube thread....... I'm gonna hear about this one!:oops:

[jbsjunk]

Shhh...... I won't say a thing.

[Coco Savage]

ahhhh crap. I just realized this was already posted in the Youtube thread....... I'm gonna hear about this one!:oops:

pwnt

[JasonC]

If you hear a knock on the door, don't answer it. Cause it's Chuck ready to roundhouse kick you for reposting :p

[E30Idea]

^^^^^^^^^^^ lmao ^^^^^^^^^^

[jbsjunk]

^^^^^^^^^^^ lmao ^^^^^^^^^^

+2. I spewed on my monitor.

[Midnight Sun]

First!!!

[sumyungguy]

lol lol lol

[Bimmerboy91]

i got a different one.

chuck gave craig a roundhouse for getting scammed, its now called chuckslist.org

[sumyungguy]

Chuck Norris can kick start a car.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles Chuck Norris eats.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is harmful to radiation.

Chuck Norris told Stevie Wonder he was black.

The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof.

Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends".

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

[92 mtechnic cabrio]

Chuck Norris can kick start a car.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles Chuck Norris eats.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is harmful to radiation.

Chuck Norris told Stevie Wonder he was black.

The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof.

Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends".

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

Chuck Norris didn't make any exceptions for you, the rules for reposting these apply as well.

[sumyungguy]

lol.. I have that saved as a word doc on my computer, I have to bring it out when Chuck Norris talk comes around.