Sex

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  • KangamangusDriver
    E30 Mastermind
    • Aug 2005
    • 1870

    #1

    Sex

    Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Spot" I made the mistake of calling mine "Sex".

    Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too!" Then I said, "But this is for a dog." He said, "I don't care what she looks like." Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid."

    When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. Not wanting the dog to bother us, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."

    One day I entered Sex in a dog show, before the competition began, another contestant asked me what I was doing. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the show. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. When I asked if the show was televised he called me a pervert.

    I left my dog at the Veterinarian. When I went to pick him up I said, "I've come for my dog." She said, "Which one, Spot or Rover?" I said, "What about Sex?" She slapped me. After I straightened out the misunderstanding, I asked if Sex was good for her. She slapped me again.

    Sex ran away, I went to the dog pound. As I was looking in all the cages the operator came up to me. I said I'm looking for Sex. He said I was looking in all the wrong places.

    When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." He said, "What's your point, so did I." I said, "But my wife wants to take Sex away." He said, "That's what happens in a divorce."

    Last night Sex ran off. I spent hours looking for him all over town. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said I was looking for Sex.

    My case comes up Friday.
  • stevofthahill
    R3VLimited
    • Apr 2005
    • 2468

    #2
    Rofl, entertaining read.

    Comment

    • devonjordan
      R3VLimited
      • Jul 2006
      • 2386

      #3
      haha
      Hemingway said it best. “There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.”

      Help a brother out, buy your detailing products here...

      Comment

      • vic_325
        Wrencher
        • Aug 2006
        • 264

        #4
        lol
        sigpic

        Comment

        • Justin B
          Sikky Nar Nar
          • Mar 2005
          • 4273

          #5
          Nice

          Comment

          • Wishno87
            R3V OG
            • Jul 2007
            • 6025

            #6
            this was quite entertaining. thank you:giggle:
            Your signature picture has been removed since it contained the Photobucket "upgrade your account" image.

            Comment

            • atomic
              R3V Elite
              • Jun 2007
              • 5691

              #7

              Comment

              • gearheadE30
                No R3VLimiter
                • Jun 2007
                • 3734

                #8
                lol that's pretty good.

                Project M42 Turbo

                Comment

                • Farbin Kaiber
                  Lil' Puppet
                  • Jul 2007
                  • 29502

                  #9
                  Thats old fax status, way older-skool than me being able to say...

                  Comment

                  • Dominic49
                    E30 Fanatic
                    • Feb 2007
                    • 1373

                    #10
                    Morty Storm circa 1966 that shits way old schooler then repost...

                    Comment

                    • Car Addict
                      E30 Enthusiast
                      • Mar 2007
                      • 1100

                      #11
                      entertaining
                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • Jand3rson
                        Banned
                        • Oct 2003
                        • 37587

                        #12
                        Good stuff.

                        Comment

                        • george graves
                          I waste 90% of my day here and all I got was this stupid title
                          • Oct 2003
                          • 19986

                          #13
                          Mental note: Don't name a dog "cock"....
                          Originally posted by Matt-B
                          hey does anyone know anyone who gets upset and makes electronics?

                          Comment

                          • Fidhle007
                            I can fly, motherfucker
                            • Oct 2005
                            • 7209

                            #14
                            My friend named his dog "Stains" which leaves him in a similar predicament.
                            '89 325is S50 Track Montser
                            '04 X5 Daily/Tow Vehicle

                            http://www.avarestoration.com

                            http://www.myspace.com/brendanfiddle


                            Click here if you want to be my zombie slave...

                            http://www.youtube.com/user/Fidhle007

                            Comment

                            • BenM
                              R3VLimited
                              • Nov 2006
                              • 2184

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Fidhle007
                              My friend named his dog "Stains" which leaves him in a similar predicament.
                              That's kind of funny, but not nearly as Sex.
                              Originally posted by BillBrasky
                              E36's are the Stephen Baldwin of the 3 series family. They barely hold everything together and they only sold a lot because of the popularity of their older sibling.
                              1991 318i Alpine II - S50/5-lug swapped - track car
                              1989 325i Cirrusblau - Daily
                              1970 2500 - Malaga over Grey Cloth
                              2012 F350 6.7PSD

                              Comment

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