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The what did you have/ what are you having for lunch thread.
ok bitches, last night i made spicy pasta and chicken on baby spinach. i made it too hot as i overdid the red peppers but it was still good. i like to think of this as my gift to 95% of all you nerdy baggypants sitting at home on a friday night playing video games dreaming about paying for sex. im telling you right now, if you learn to cook you will get the waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles. i would wager to say even jflip could find a guy if he learned to cook. chicks love it when you cook for them. if i were single and knew how to cook i would wake up next to my cock after it fell off from overuse. but alas, im married so i just live in a fantasy land. on to the meal motherfuckers. get some mushrooms, i used shitake and i used about a half pound. slice those fuckers up and saute them in a tiny bit of olive oil for 2-3 minutes. easy on the oil as you dont want this shit tasting greasy.
after you saute them take them off the heat and keep them warm. if you dont have a heat lamp maybe set them on top of your video game console
now brown and cook fully 2 chicken breasts in a skillet and set aside in a bowl. once its cool enough to touch shred them into pieces. dont cut it because it looks better once youre done. you dont want this crap looking like it came out of a can when youre done
next take some garlic, a little ginger,3 tablespoons of sesame oil ,a teaspoon of red pepper flakes (it calls for 1/3rd that but i always make it hotter) and 2 tablespoons of mushroom soy sauce. dont use that generic shitty kikomen soy sauce. its nothing but sodium. go down to mikek's family grocery store and get the real shit the yellow man uses.
chop up a few scallions and throw that shit in too.
now heat this stuff up till you start to smell it. maybe 2 minutes but dont boil it.
in the mean time boil up some water in a pot with some salt and put 3/4LB of pasta in it and cook it maybe 7 minutes till its el dente or however you spell that shit. dont make it limp like shiteaters dick. it should be slightly firm.
now get a couple large bowls and spread out your baby spinach while youre waiting for the pasta to finish. it should look like this
heres that sesame oil,soy sauce,ginger,garlic and red pepper concoction . put this in the large skillet once its been heated up and then throw in the pasta and toss it together. hit it with cracked black pepper to taste.
when its done its going to look like this. see my shredded chicken next to it?
now place a bunch of pasta on top of your baby spinach ... top it with shredded chicken and mushrooms and serve that shit up. and let me warn you.. your dick better be clean because its going to get sucked after dinner.
and here you have it. as i said i used a little too much red pepper so my cock was burning after dinner a little. so you may want to cut back on that just a tad.
we watched "burn after reading" with dinner and its was pretty ordinary. i normally love the cohen brothers but i thought it was a little weak.
i will promise you this. if you invite your boyfriend over and cook this for him i promise you he will blow you. if he does not i will talk to jflip and arrange some head for you
i will promise you this. if you invite your boyfriend over and cook this for him i promise you he will blow you. if he does not i will talk to jflip and arrange some head for you
I dont know if I can handle it though, can you pre-cook it and send it in a sealed package so I can heat it up and say I did it myself? You know, like those gay diet packages?
and how much red pepper was too much? im thinking of making that for my girl this week...oh...and the only thing good about burn after reading was the end...wtf happened? haha
and how much red pepper was too much? im thinking of making that for my girl this week...oh...and the only thing good about burn after reading was the end...wtf happened? haha
it calls for 1/4 teaspoon of crushed red pepper flakes. i 3x that. it wasnt unbearable but id do 2x next time. email me and i will return the actual recipe so it will be easier for you
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