Your worst work related stories of 2008....

[george graves]

I'm not talking about work related injures, but that could be funny too. More over, stories that are funny. Especially about your boss.

I'll start with mine.

1.) I started working for this finical firm when I was 20. First day on the job, I was lead around by the office idiot. After she introduced me to the office staff, she asked me If I "knew 10 key" I of course did. But to test my skills she put a printed spread sheet in front of me, and wanted to see how quick I was.

I quickly entered the numbers, and at the "TOTALS" I of course entered the row of digits and used the "=SUM" command.

I think her exact words were "don't think you are a hot shot, you don't know the boss as well as I do"....

Hunny, I'm sure I don't.

[e30nub]

A year ago today, the skate shop I previously worked at shut down. So on Dec. 24th we were super slow, and we started blasting 3 inches of blood. We moshed, through product full blast at the walls/each other, and It all ended when a co-worker of mine threw a 24-inch fan at the wall, which put a 1-foot hole in it. It was off the wall-nutz.

There is also way more shit that happened that is too long to list. Picture a bunch of your friends working everyday with each other. We did practically everything.

Here's a video of the shop for reference.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO060eY_58A

[dashboardmonkey]

So a couple years ago I was sitting on the toilet at a shop I worked at. I started to hear the sound of a lighter by the door. So I am like wtf? Then this 3 foot flame shoots in from under the door, and I am like aaahhh.

I heard one of the machinists giggling and laghing and shit.

A couple weeks later I am standing in the shop talking to said machinist. While we are standing there I have hand down my pants rubbing my nuts. Just before we were done talking I pulled my hand out, put it under his nose and asked "How do my balls smell?"

Gotcha back fucker.

[mikeedler]

a few weeks ago I had to take a mirror off a newer mini cooper S for it to be painted. went to remove the mirror glass-- and it broke........
so the mirror cap comes back a few hours later from the paintshop and it needs to be put together-- I am told to take the mirror glass off one of the new cooper S's on the lot-- break another one....
so I decide to try it on the next one-- and guess what..... I break the 3rd one.... needless to say I felt like the biggest ass when the service manager told me to bring all 3 broken mirrors up to the owner and expalin--this was about 3 weeks before i was going to hear if the dealer was going to keep me or not after my schooling stuff was done. he was cool and kinda just shrugged it off and told me to leave the mini cooper mirrors alone-- what luck.

sometimes I am a tard!

as far as work related stuff that was the worst feeling I had for the year.

[Mtriple]

Last summer we got called to a lift assist which is somewhat unusual as our fire department rarely gets called to medicals unless the police department is tied up on something big.

We arrived on scene and my first clue of the fun to come is that there is a police officer still onscene. I'm thinking to myself wtf, either this patient is really stuck good or this cop doesnt want to get involved. I would soon discover it was the later...

We walk in to the house and meet the cop in the front room, "He's back here". We walk into the hallway, turn the corner, and find a elderly male in his 80's stark naked and lying in the bottom of the bathtub. I'm thinking to myself, whats the big deal? This is an easy lift. Well, then the smell hit me... And as I got closer, I was able to see that this guy must have lost control of his bowels, slipped in it, and then fell in it.

I'm a lieutenant with the department and order my guys to do stuff all the time. I couldnt bring myself to order anyone to do something I wouldnt be willing to do myself, so I decided to hop in the tub. I'm wearing your standard duty pants, department tshirt, Danners(boots), and latex gloves and eye protection. Standing in poo is the least of my concerns, its getting it on me when I pick this guy up. Now this poor old guy goes about 6 ft.-150 lbs, he is clearly sick and has issues. I cant believe how composed he stayed with an audience as he lie naked in his own poo. I asked for a towel which I covered him up with, and then asked for another towel to use as a shield against his poo covered backside.

I leaned him forward, stepped in the tub behind him, grabbed him under the arms using the blanket as intended, and lifted him to his feet while still in the tub. Well apparantly his legs fell asleep from being in such an ackward position and couldnt stand on his own. I instructed one of my guys to grab another towel, wrap it around the patients legs, and lift him out with me still holding the shoulders. This worked well and we got him out of the tub and sat him down on the toilet. Keep in mind that I'm still standing in the tub poo and I want out bad. I ordered another guy to grab a chair from the dining room and bring it in. We get the chair in the bathroom and once again lift this poor guy into it. At this point I'm finally able to step out of the tub, I wipe my boots with a towel as best I can, and then we proceed to carry the guy out of the bathroom with myself at the back lifting by the backrest, and another guy at the front lifting by the legs of the chair.

We have a bit of an issue exiting the bathroom and turning the the patient to go down the hallway. Once we get him around the corner, I order to set him down. As we are standing there taking a break and contemplating our next move, one of my guys standing in the dining room quickly walks up to me and pushes me out of the way. This is all done silently and I'm thinking to myself, WTF! I look at him and he points to the ground with a smirk on his face. I look down and see that this poor guy is once again shitting himself and the poo is running off the chair and onto my pantleg and boot.

I had one of the guys take my place as I went outside and washed off with a garden hose. The guys wife followed me outside with some cleaning supplies and towels apologizing the whole time. I got cleaned up, the guys got him into his bedroom where his wife wanted us to put him, and we got the hell out of there.

Once back at the station, I threw out my pants(they were old anyway), and began to disinfect my $250 leather boots. I ended up having to wear my bunker pants around for a while until we could make a stop at my house for another set of pants.

Some of you probably remember my old screen name SuperDuper, which I recently changed. This is my nickname at the department coined by one of our district chiefs. SuperDuperBobbyCooper is the full version but every on just calls me Super or SuperDuper. Well, the long version has now changed to SuperDuperPooperBobbyCooper.

Good times... I never really had any bad feelings about it as I have always been amazed at how well that poor old guy handled it. He must have been so humiliated...

Cliffs: I got pooped on.

[Collin]

I had to mop up 4 inches of pee water in the bathroom, when a customer did the logical thing to do when you see a urinal overflowing; flush three more times.

[blunttech]

not really work related but humilating all the same. i was taking a bath one night at home and when i tried to get out i couldnt . im going to cut to the chase and just say i was in the tub too long and wasnt able to get out. my knee was acting up from an old war injury... my wife calls the fire dept and next thing you know this great big burly dude shows up and starts pulling me out of the tub. i think he strained something because he ended up shitting himself right there alongside me. he was clearly embarrassed because he started smearing his own feces all over me and telling his co workers it was my shit. i couldnt believe this fucker. they got me out and my wife did her best to clean this guys shit off of me. ive never been so humiliated in all my life. i always thought the firefighters were there to help. fucking assholes

[hugh jass]

not really work related but humilating all the same. i was taking a bath one night at home and when i tried to get out i couldnt . im going to cut to the chase and just say i was in the tub too long and wasnt able to get out. my knee was acting up from an old war injury... my wife calls the fire dept and next thing you know this great big burly dude shows up and starts pulling me out of the tub. i think he strained something because he ended up shitting himself right there alongside me. he was clearly embarrassed because he started smearing his own feces all over me and telling his co workers it was my shit. i couldnt believe this fucker. they got me out and my wife did her best to clean this guys shit off of me. ive never been so humiliated in all my life. i always thought the firefighters were there to help. fucking assholes

hahahaha

[Miasma]

No way blunt, Too amazing of a story.

Though, I want to believe!

[BobombETA]

not really work related but humilating all the same. i was taking a bath one night at home and when i tried to get out i couldnt . im going to cut to the chase and just say i was in the tub too long and wasnt able to get out. my knee was acting up from an old war injury... my wife calls the fire dept and next thing you know this great big burly dude shows up and starts pulling me out of the tub. i think he strained something because he ended up shitting himself right there alongside me. he was clearly embarrassed because he started smearing his own feces all over me and telling his co workers it was my shit. i couldnt believe this fucker. they got me out and my wife did her best to clean this guys shit off of me. ive never been so humiliated in all my life. i always thought the firefighters were there to help. fucking assholes

lol that was good man.

[kronus]

not really work related but humilating all the same. i was taking a bath one night at home and when i tried to get out i couldnt . im going to cut to the chase and just say i was in the tub too long and wasnt able to get out. my knee was acting up from an old war injury... my wife calls the fire dept and next thing you know this great big burly dude shows up and starts pulling me out of the tub. i think he strained something because he ended up shitting himself right there alongside me. he was clearly embarrassed because he started smearing his own feces all over me and telling his co workers it was my shit. i couldnt believe this fucker. they got me out and my wife did her best to clean this guys shit off of me. ive never been so humiliated in all my life. i always thought the firefighters were there to help. fucking assholes

This one time not too long ago I was a tub. So this old guy who I'm amazed is still alive (he is very old, you see) runs into the bathroom, clenching his buttcheeks as hard as he can, and whimpering something about anal abuse. In some sort of old guy delusion, he must have mistaken me for a toilet, because he just sort of leans over me with his ass, and lets go of the biggest diarrhea/semen liquid fart I've ever even heard of. It was fucking disgusting, man. I mean, the shit just kept coming, made more liquid and sticky by all the semen backed up in his lower intestine. Humans are sick fucks...

Anyway, to make matters worse, the geezer then falls into me, obviously exhausted from his extreme rectal release. In the couple inches of shit and semen, yes. His wife comes, laughs at him, and calls the cops to pull his ass out of there. Funky little sociopath, that one. Anyway, when they get there, this guy with a handlebar mustache and aviators decides to be a big hero and help the old fart out himself. As he does so, another wave of semenshit is released from our poor benefactor's bowel, all over the dude's pants. He tries to play it cool, but I personally saw the stream of shit leak into his fancy shoes. Poor guy.

Anyway, they haven't washed me out yet. Send help please :(

[napabavarian]

This one time not too long ago I was a tub. So this old guy who I'm amazed is still alive (he is very old, you see) runs into the bathroom, clenching his buttcheeks as hard as he can, and whimpering something about anal abuse. In some sort of old guy delusion, he must have mistaken me for a toilet, because he just sort of leans over me with his ass, and lets go of the biggest diarrhea/semen liquid fart I've ever even heard of. It was fucking disgusting, man. I mean, the shit just kept coming, made more liquid and sticky by all the semen backed up in his lower intestine. Humans are sick fucks...

Anyway, to make matters worse, the geezer then falls into me, obviously exhausted from his extreme rectal release. In the couple inches of shit and semen, yes. His wife comes, laughs at him, and calls the cops to pull his ass out of there. Funky little sociopath, that one. Anyway, when they get there, this guy with a handlebar mustache and aviators decides to be a big hero and help the old fart out himself. As he does so, another wave of semenshit is released from our poor benefactor's bowel, all over the dude's pants. He tries to play it cool, but I personally saw the stream of shit leak into his fancy shoes. Poor guy.

Anyway, they haven't washed me out yet. Send help please :(

[abepark]

I was trying to get a rotor set screw loose, I had already banged the rotor off, so it was the hub with the set screw. I used two lug bolts and a prybar to keep the hub from moving, and some vice grips to attack the set screw, while doing this I slipped with the pry bar, of course I'm pushing the pry bar down and not holding it up, next thing I know I'm on the floor with a daze. I go to sit down and just cool off, and then decide to go to the bathroom to look at the wound and clean it. As I'm walking by the part dept they run up to me and go WTF happened, I'm thinking i have a pretty bad bruise or something, but then the blood runs down my face. I was using a square shaped prybar and put a hole right in my eye brow, of course I got a ride to the hospital and had to get stitches.

PS don't use a prybar to get a set screw off, just use a small screw driver.

that was my embarrassing story of 08

[Mtriple]

not really work related but humilating all the same. i was taking a bath one night at home and when i tried to get out i couldnt . im going to cut to the chase and just say i was in the tub too long and wasnt able to get out. my knee was acting up from an old war injury... my wife calls the fire dept and next thing you know this great big burly dude shows up and starts pulling me out of the tub. i think he strained something because he ended up shitting himself right there alongside me. he was clearly embarrassed because he started smearing his own feces all over me and telling his co workers it was my shit. i couldnt believe this fucker. they got me out and my wife did her best to clean this guys shit off of me. ive never been so humiliated in all my life. i always thought the firefighters were there to help. fucking assholes

I left the names out to protect you!

[DCColegrove]

Short and to the point...

My boss told me to pull the engine out of an e39... He handed me the key...

3 and a 1/2 hours latter I had it out and on the ground...

It was the wrong car...

No shit.