"Gripe Sheets" by pilots. Hilarious!!

[Farbin Kaiber]

What other good exports come out of Brazil?

[OOMPH!]

great women (who love gringos).

That's what I'm talking about!!! Do you recommend rio de janeiro?

[Maluco]

^ no question...

[Erick]

That's what I'm talking about!!! Do you recommend rio de janeiro?

Rio has the beaches, but Sao Paulo has a much better night life.

[Miano]

How did this go from squawk sheets to Brazilian girls?

[blunttech]

How did this go from squawk sheets to Brazilian girls?

its off topic dumbdy. theres no telling where this may end up

[Pinepig]

>> Here is the transcript from the voice recorder from the Hudson River >> Crash starting after the bird strikes.
>>
>>
>> PIC is a Pilot in Command, SIC is Second in Command, you all know who >> Sully is.
>>
>>
>>
>> SIC: "Number two's gone, boss."
>>
>> Sully: "I know it! What do I look like, an R-22 pilot (that's a baby >> helicopter a real egg beater)? Just shut the f*cker down, boy. Oh, >> and tell Departure that we need to come back in and land. F*cking >> birds..."
>>
>> SIC: "Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of his throne this >> morning. You don't have to insult me just because I got my commercial >> helicopter rating in the mighty Robinson. Oh, and by the way, sir, >> we're not climbing, if you even care. Maybe your decision to take on >> that extra 5,000 pounds of fuel wasn't so hot, Captain."
>>
>> Sully: "One more comment like that and I'll make sure the union keeps >> you in RJ's for the rest of your miserable, short career."
>>
>> <Bang!>
>>
>> Sully: "SON OF A BITCH!"
>>
>> SIC: "Number one's failing, boss."
>>
>> Sully: "I can see that! Am I a-f*cking-sleep? Can I not read the >> gauges? Am I not flying the plane here?"
>>
>> SIC: "I'm just sayin'..."
>>
>> Sully: "Goddamn Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here >> every winter. Why, if I ever *see* another Canadian I'm gonna punch >> him right in the throat. I *HATE* Canadians."
>>
>> SIC: "Everybody does, boss. Think we can make Teterboro or >> straight-in to 22 at Newark?"
>>
>> Sully: "Yeah, probably. But f*ck Teterboro! Let's go to Newark. >> I've flown out of Teterboro. Short damn runways...always a >> crosswind. And their FBO's suck. I'd rather land in the Hudson >> f*cking river than land at Teterboro. Hey...."
>>
>> SIC: "You're not..."
>>
>> Sully: "Why not? Maybe we can take out some sailboats with some >> prick Canadian snowbirds."
>>
>> SIC: "You ever land on the water before?"
>>
>> Sully: "Plenty of times! I got my seaplane rating back in 1946. I >> think it was in a...Piper...somethingoranother, I forget. Never >> mind. It'll all come back to me. Pull out the Before Water Landing >> checklist and run it."
>>
>> SIC: (flipping through the stack of checklists) "Can't seem to find >> one for that."
>>
>> Sully: "Fooled ya! HAH! There ain't one! Just get on the horn and >> tell the people to put their heads between their legs and kiss...no >> wait, that won't sound good on on the CVR tape...make it, 'brace for >> collision'...no wait, make it 'brace for impact.' Yeah, that's >> better. No wait! Tell them that out the left side of the plane they >> can see theIntrepid Museum, and that if they'd like to visit it, >> they'll be able to, this afternoon, like, in about twenty minutes. >> Oh, and ring the stews and have them bring me a rum and coke. If I'm >> gonna do this, I need a good stiff drink. And have that one with the >> big tits bring it up. If I'm gonna die, I wanna die drunk and with a >> boner."
>>
>> SIC: "Like your grandfather did?"
>>
>> Sully: "This is no time to make jokes, son. I would really >> appreciate it if you'd try to take this situation seriously. I'm >> fairly certain that my grandfather did not die with a boner. I mean, >> have you ever met my grandmother?"
>>
>> SIC: "You know, if you pull this off CNN will be calling you the Hero >> Pilot of the Year."
>>
>> Sully: "F*ck CNN. Liberal bastards. All I care about is what the >> fair-and-balanced Fox News will call me. I hope Fox News calls me a >> hero!"
>>
>> SIC: (sighing) "They probably will too. Nobody will remember *my* >> name. It'll be 'Sully this'...and, 'Sully that.' 'Captain Sully, the >> big f*cking hero.' Like you are the only f*cking one in the cockpit."
>>
>> Sully: "You're quite bitter. You really are a helicopter pilot at >> heart, aren't you? You know, some pilots wait their whole career to >> be called a hero. I mean, Christ, I've only got two years to go to >> retirement. That was close!"
>>
>> SIC: "We're not down yet, Captain Skygod."
>>
>> Sully: "I know, this thing glides pretty well, huh? Dammit, no >> sailboats. Oh well, let's see if we can buzz one of those damn >> sightseeing helicopters. What's best-glide/engines out?"
>>
>> SIC: "Beats the shit outta me."
>>
>> Sully: "Vref?"
>>
>> SIC: "F*ck if I know."
>>
>> Sully: "Britney Spears' birthday?"
>>
>> SIC: "December 2, 1981."
>>
>> Sully: "Well, I'm glad you know SOMETHING! Just gimme full flaps..."
>>
>> [END OF RECORDING]
>>

[hugh jass]

Brazilian BBQ

If you have one in your area, GO

do we have one in our area?

[Money$hit]

Is Rio really super crime ridden like they say, or is it overblown? Thats where I wanna go.

[blunttech]

Is Rio really super crime ridden like they say, or is it overblown? Thats where I wanna go.

i would pay your airfare to san paulo to see you beaten down by the youth street gangs like i see on the discovery channel

[Money$hit]

i would pay your airfare to san paulo to see you beaten down by the youth street gangs like i see on the discovery channel

I appreciate the gesture.

[Pinepig]

do we have one in our area?

I wish.

[Money$hit]

i would pay your airfare to san paulo to see you beaten down by the youth street gangs like i see on the discovery channel

its sao paulo anyway. the alzheimers is setting in.

[blunttech]

its sao paulo anyway. the alzheimers is setting in.

the epic burn remains even if you had to google the correct spelling you fucking nozzle

[blunttech]

I wish.

how was mexico fucker?
show us your tan lines bitch