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FS: Slicktop/S52... It's probably not for you.

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    FS: Slicktop/S52... It's probably not for you.

    SOLD. Leaving the description for amusement....

    I was thinking of how to describe this car... the best I could come up: This car is sort of like Chuck Lidell in an Armani tuxedo. It's a beast. But it's pretty. It's a pretty beast. That sort of car isn't for everyone. It's probably not for you. Why, you ask? It's loud. It's not ear-splitting loud, but they'll hear you coming. And going. And idling. And cruising. And decelerating. It doesn't have a muffler. It does have two resonators. Why bother with resonators? Even Chuck Lidell doesn't want his ears ringing when he steps out of a car.

    So in what other sense is this car a pretty beast? As far as pretty goes, it just had a base/clear respray in March of 2014. Style fives with polished outers were also put on at the same time. On the beast side, It's proper quick. It has an S52 with SS headers, M50 manifold, Bosch Gen III 21.5 pound injectors, custom air box, custom tune. At anything over 4/5 throttle, an overwhelming sense of doom descends on the driver. The roar of the exhaust and headers, the rear tires squirming in a futile attempt to grab pavement, the whistle of the intake as the engine sucks in air, the terrified protests of your passenger(s)... It's not a question of IF you're going to die, but rather HOW SOON and in what manner. Will it be quick and painless or will you linger in agonizing pain? Who knows... I love every minute of it. It's intoxicating. It's probably not for you, sunshine.

    It doesn't have power steering. Why no power steering? You don't need power steering unless you have jello arms, that's why, princess. If you do have jello arms, this is your opportunity to do something about it. Stop taking selfies showing your newest flat-billed hat, skinny jeans, and v-neck tee and start lifting weights. You'll be able to answer the well-known challenge: "Do you even lift, bro", with a resounding "YES!" Driving this car at low speeds, your lats, core, shoulders, and arms will all get a work out. If this is a problem, this car probably isn't for you.

    It doesn't have a hood release cable. Why not? If you don't know how to release the hood, start with a stock 325e. When that gets boring and you've learned the chassis, then consider a car like this. It probably isn't for you.

    This car has a fixed back Sparco Pro2000 driver seat and a Recaro SE-LS passenger seat. Both are on sliders. If your midsection looks more like the Pillsbury dough boy than a six-pack, you're not fitting in the driver's seat. The Sparco is a perfectly good reason to go on a diet and hit the gym. If that's too much work, this car probably isn't for you, fat boy.

    Why a folding passenger seat? Because after you've driven this car for a while and the manual steering has bulked-up your upper body and you've hit the gym to fit in the driver's seat, you'll be getting a whole lot more action with your new physique. Where am I going with this? As we all know, there's occasionally an encounter in which you're just having too much fun to pull out or use a condom. You're gonna need that folding passenger seat to put the resulting offspring in the back.

    Speaking of action, this car has working A/C with a new Denso compressor. How is that relevant to all the new-found tail you're getting? Nobody likes sweaty camel toe...

    If you look at the pictures and the first thing that comes to mind is "lower it", the car will go at least 2 inches lower. But if that was your reaction, this car isn't for you. This car was built to be quick and dependable. It was built to handle, not to engage in hard-parking. Keep moving.

    Why am I selling it? I have too many cars. Some must go. Am I coming off like an asshole? This car definitely isn't for you. You're too delicate, too thin-skinned. This car is for an alpha male or a little bitch who aspires to be one. If you're the aspiring alpha male, know that this car will not actually make your penis larger. However, it will feel larger. If you're out of shape, this car WILL make you get in better shape. Regardless of your physique, this is a driver's car. It demands your attention. Once you've grabbed this car, mounted it from behind and slapped its ass around a bit, your increased self-confidence will make your 4.5 inches feel more like 6. And you can't put a price on that. (Yes you can. It's $13,500 OBRO)

    If you're not fat, or lazy, or a hipster, or if you are and you don't want to be, this car MAY be for you. Take off your Birkenstocks. Put down the twinkies. Man-up and contact me via private message. If you can't handle it, this car isn't for you.

    Other bullshit details that you may or may not care about:

    1991 318is, slicktop. Brilliantrot RUST FREE, clean title.
    New base/clear paint completed 3/2014.
    Swap done by WOT-TECH in Pompano Beach, Fl.
    S52, OBD1. Out of an automatic car (I have the torque converter).
    ZF320.
    New Sachs clutch kit with pressure plate and throwout bearing.
    Rogue short shifter with new bushings.
    2.93LSD
    R3vshift subframe bushing (12mm raised)
    Bosch Euro Smilies Euro grills
    Black kidneys (ECS tuning)
    New (not rebuilt) Delco A/C compressor.
    Crack-free dash
    MTech1 steering wheel.
    Black vinyl rear seat
    Anthracite carpet
    E36 M3 front suspension with M3 control arms, Cross drilled front rotors with M3 brakes
    Ground control/Koni front coilovers
    UUC Stainless brake lines and clutch lines
    AKG offset front LCABs
    E30 M3 rear: E30 M3 hubs E30 M3 rotors with E30 M3 brakes
    E36 M3 Behr radiator
    M50 manifold
    Custom airbox
    SS headers
    Custom 2.5 exhaust
    Audi S4 brake booster
    E36 M3 steering rack with power steering delete.
    New door sills along with new clips.
    New tail light gaskets
    Style fives with polished lips. front and rear tires are all at 80%+ tread.
    New tie rods.
    New sway bar end links, front and rear.
    All new hoses on the engine.
    JVC USB/bluetooth receiver. New speaker wire was run underneath the carpet, as well as remote wire and one set of RCA cables to the trunk.
    Royal purple 20w50, RP auto trans fluid, RP diff fluid.
    Last edited by FSUJBP; 05-12-2014, 06:59 PM. Reason: SOLD SOLD SOLD

    #2
    Removed most of the pics to lower my bandwidth use.

    Last edited by FSUJBP; 05-12-2014, 07:00 PM. Reason: SOLD

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      #3
      asking price?

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        #4
        lol, nice car

        s50 | e30

        Comment


          #5
          $13,5 or best reasonable offer. It's about half way through the rambling nonsense. Also, I will consider partial trades.

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            #6
            Is says 13500 in the ad.

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              #7
              My peepeee = glass cutter.

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                #8
                So nice. Wish it was in cali, i'd be all over this. Ship?

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by HR2L View Post
                  So nice. Wish it was in cali, i'd be all over this. Ship?
                  I don't have any issues with shipping.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    this is amazing.
                    sigpic

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                      #11

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                        #12
                        One of the most entertaining FS ads I've read on here in a long time. Glws man
                        sigpic

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                          #13
                          Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped using ladies scented deodorant and bought this car he could drive like me. I love this ad.
                          Lieben Sie Schlangen ?

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Great looking car. Brilliantly worded ad. Jon325i approves :up:

                            Best of luck on the sale OP.....very nice E30.


                            Jon
                            Rides...
                            1991 325i - sold :(
                            2004 2WD Frontier King Cab

                            RIP #17 Jules Bianchi

                            Comment


                              #15
                              What a beautiful car. Well built! Priced very well.
                              Love the listing.

                              Won't last.
                              sigpic
                              New website releasing soon www.gutenparts.com Guten Parts + Service | Facebook | Twitter
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                              Levent
                              %20levent@gutenparts.com

                              ____________________________________
                              Ladies:
                              1998 E36 m3/4/5 1988 325i 1989 325iT

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