I thought this was pretty funny. Found a random online generator for a Big Brother scenario so I plugged in names of guys from the site.
Disclaimer: all this was done at random, nobody was singled out and I didn't pick who played what roll. This is not intended to offend anybody.
Big Brother
Day 1 - BloodLine admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Jordan. He says he looks like a queer. As it turns out, OreoGaborio is in fact the only queer in the house, although Inspar8r later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Eurospeed88 creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Trent hits him with a spork.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of Eiffel Tower out of egg rolls. After much persuasion by Eurospeed88, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the Eiffel Tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Jordan, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the egg rolls. Trent is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the Eiffel Tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Inspar8r farts and blows Eiffel Tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Jordan cries.
6 - Eurospeed88 gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Jordan admits that he likes to be spanked on the arse with a spork. BloodLine says he never wears condoms because they make his cock sore and Eurospeed88 agrees. OreoGaborio goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Inspar8r sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Eurospeed88.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. BloodLine goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Trent and Jordan are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for BloodLine.
9 - Trent and Jordan are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. OreoGaborio sings them a song by Shakira to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Jordan out of the house. He pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that he should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Jordan leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Jordan's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. OreoGaborio has to make do without the cucumber he requested. Trent is visibly depressed and is comforted by Eurospeed88, who tries to touch him on his tits.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Eurospeed88 touching trent's tits over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Inspar8r refuses to run because his cock hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Inspar8r finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Trent calls Inspar8r a lazy waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. BloodLine tells everyone individually that he thinks Trent is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Trent and Eurospeed88 are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for BloodLine.
16 - The nominations are announced. Trent can't believe he's been voted out two weeks in a row. Eurospeed88 is equally stunned and turns to Trent for comfort. Inspar8r is distraught and confesses to OreoGaborio that he thinks he is in love with Eurospeed88. OreoGaborio says he doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and he's a queer, you know
17 - The public vote Eurospeed88 out of the house. Trent says he is gutted and even gives Eurospeed88 a clipping of hair from his tits to prove how much he cares. Inspar8r is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Eurospeed88 leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Trent clipping the hair from his tits. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Cambodia in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Cambodia sounds like but Inspar8r says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose BloodLine as the one who must complete the task.
21 - BloodLine successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Cambodia but also God Save The Queen, Nelly, and the theme tune to Wheel of Fortune. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and BloodLine tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Inspar8r and OreoGaborio are nominated.
23 - Inspar8r and OreoGaborio take their nominations well and sit down with BloodLine and Trent to discuss why they voted for them. BloodLine keeps quiet but Trent accuses Inspar8r of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred cock before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote OreoGaborio out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. OreoGaborio leaves.
25 - BloodLine becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of BloodLine's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of polar bear dung using only a spork. BloodLine is unsure but Inspar8r is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Inspar8r breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the polar bear incident from his childhood. trent tries to persuade him to stay but BloodLine sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Inspar8r decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the polar bear dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Trent from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. BloodLine asks Trent to marry him and he accepts. Unsurprisingly BloodLine nominates Trent to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Trent.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Trent graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that BloodLine is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, he also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. BloodLine takes his $1,000,000 and runs away to Cambodia. Nobody, including Trent, ever sees him again.
Disclaimer: all this was done at random, nobody was singled out and I didn't pick who played what roll. This is not intended to offend anybody.
Big Brother
Day 1 - BloodLine admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Jordan. He says he looks like a queer. As it turns out, OreoGaborio is in fact the only queer in the house, although Inspar8r later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Eurospeed88 creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Trent hits him with a spork.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of Eiffel Tower out of egg rolls. After much persuasion by Eurospeed88, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the Eiffel Tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Jordan, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the egg rolls. Trent is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the Eiffel Tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Inspar8r farts and blows Eiffel Tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Jordan cries.
6 - Eurospeed88 gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Jordan admits that he likes to be spanked on the arse with a spork. BloodLine says he never wears condoms because they make his cock sore and Eurospeed88 agrees. OreoGaborio goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Inspar8r sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Eurospeed88.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. BloodLine goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Trent and Jordan are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for BloodLine.
9 - Trent and Jordan are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. OreoGaborio sings them a song by Shakira to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Jordan out of the house. He pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that he should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Jordan leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Jordan's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. OreoGaborio has to make do without the cucumber he requested. Trent is visibly depressed and is comforted by Eurospeed88, who tries to touch him on his tits.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Eurospeed88 touching trent's tits over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Inspar8r refuses to run because his cock hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Inspar8r finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Trent calls Inspar8r a lazy waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. BloodLine tells everyone individually that he thinks Trent is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Trent and Eurospeed88 are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for BloodLine.
16 - The nominations are announced. Trent can't believe he's been voted out two weeks in a row. Eurospeed88 is equally stunned and turns to Trent for comfort. Inspar8r is distraught and confesses to OreoGaborio that he thinks he is in love with Eurospeed88. OreoGaborio says he doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and he's a queer, you know
17 - The public vote Eurospeed88 out of the house. Trent says he is gutted and even gives Eurospeed88 a clipping of hair from his tits to prove how much he cares. Inspar8r is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Eurospeed88 leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Trent clipping the hair from his tits. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Cambodia in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Cambodia sounds like but Inspar8r says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose BloodLine as the one who must complete the task.
21 - BloodLine successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Cambodia but also God Save The Queen, Nelly, and the theme tune to Wheel of Fortune. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and BloodLine tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Inspar8r and OreoGaborio are nominated.
23 - Inspar8r and OreoGaborio take their nominations well and sit down with BloodLine and Trent to discuss why they voted for them. BloodLine keeps quiet but Trent accuses Inspar8r of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred cock before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote OreoGaborio out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. OreoGaborio leaves.
25 - BloodLine becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of BloodLine's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of polar bear dung using only a spork. BloodLine is unsure but Inspar8r is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Inspar8r breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the polar bear incident from his childhood. trent tries to persuade him to stay but BloodLine sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Inspar8r decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the polar bear dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Trent from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. BloodLine asks Trent to marry him and he accepts. Unsurprisingly BloodLine nominates Trent to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Trent.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Trent graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that BloodLine is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, he also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. BloodLine takes his $1,000,000 and runs away to Cambodia. Nobody, including Trent, ever sees him again.
HAHA, wow the good ole days of e3s! Just bustin your balls Stu.
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