Dumbest things you've heard people say about/seen people do to their cars

[henryki]

Friend who knows nothing about cars: "dude I just did a mod on my car, added a ton a power you can really fell the difference."
me: "nice, what did you do exactly?"
Moron friend: "I changed my spark plugs with the most expensive ones you can buy from autozone."
me: :shock:

[Jon325i]

These are some funny posts......great reading during my lunch hour. Here's mine....

A few years ago I took the E30 in for a smog test. The attendant (an early 20s guy that looked hungover) pulls my car into the test station and sets the front wheels on the rollers. I'm standing at the garage entrance and I tell him "hey man - it's rear wheel drive." He replies, "This thing? Are you sure?" I tell him yes. He doesn't believe me so finds the testing tech, I hear them mumbling and the attendant is pointing at my car. The attendant returns and says, "sorry, I thought these Bimmers were front wheel drive."

I've had to go back to the same test facility to smog my truck. Thankfully, I didn't see the misinformed one still working there.


Jon

[CorvallisBMW]

ugh, the stories in here make me want to go on a killing rampage

[efficient]

Idk if you guys know about honda del slow (sol) but in the u.s. they came with a single over head cam, so this guy in my class was like my del slow has a b16(supposed to be dohc) with vtakk and he pops his hood and we see the single cammer no vtakk all stock and hes like yeah my b16 came in sohc. I just walked away
-__-

[henryki]

Since I own an e30, the only rotary powered, left wheel drive bmw ever made; factory equipped with N2O. Just for being an owner, I automatically got put in VIP status by bmw's corporate.

They let me test drive the M8 but I poped the tires trina do a rolling burnout at 80 and that's the real reason the car never went into production. Couldn't handle my #swag !!!

LMAO, dead.

but the sad part is, some people are serious when they say shit like that.



My neighbor has a 350, and we were going going to a party after a meet and I was driving behind him and just smelt burnt clutch to the max, I thought it was me, but I never ride my clutch, we get out of the car and I ask him, dude were you riding your clutch on the way up here? And very proudly he looks at me and says "yessir!"

WTF why would you want to make you clutch wear out even faster? I swear some people shouldn't deserve to have a car..

[ky0u]

Same kid, also talking about putting helium in your tires because it gives more hp cus it makes the car lighter and float lol

Even if that somehow were possible, that would be a horrible idea as you'd lose traction...

If you got through all of that, I hope you enjoyed my stories, all of them 100% true, kinda hard to make that stuff up haha.

Since I own an e30, the only rotary powered, left wheel drive bmw ever made; factory equipped with N2O. Just for being an owner, I automatically got put in VIP status by bmw's corporate.

They let me test drive the M8 but I poped the tires trina do a rolling burnout at 80 and that's the real reason the car never went into production. Couldn't handle my #swag !!!

[henryki]

Same kid, also talking about putting helium in your tires because it gives more hp cus it makes the car lighter and float lol

I've heard that one before, where do people even come up with this shit? and then feel so confident that they're right about it? hahaha

[efficient]

Some dumb ass in my class told me why dont I put a intake manifpld from a 93 bmw on my m20. Told him that those are 2 different motors so they wont fit. He kept insisting its a straight swap because his uncle did it.
Same kid, also talking about putting helium in your tires because it gives more hp cus it makes the car lighter and float lol

[henryki]

An old coworker of mine had a 1999 Subaru Legacy GT, he told me that he makes 300HP on a N/A motor, and that he has a custom "K&N" exhaust and a "performance" air filter, and that his car is so powerful that it destroyed his (automatic) transmission. Just to entertain him I went and looked at his car, completely stock, and his "K&N" exhaust was simply a muffler tip, and in his mind a muffler tip adds +100 HP. And I ask him to pop the hood, I don't see anything special, just a clean stock engine bay. Open up the airbox, and see a fram paper filter, and he said again that it was "performance" oriented designed and tested for rally.

I take him over to my E30, and it has muffler tips as well, and that was the first thing he pointed out, and asked how much HP does that add. At this point I still haven't said anything about wrong he is, just kept to myself so I could tell all my other coworkers what he was saying (I was a Driver at an Audi, Porsche, and Mercedes store, delivering brand new cars and doing dealer trades) The other guys were super chill and actually knew cars and we always made fun of this other guy because he would just lie 24/7. This liar even told us that he was an MMA fighter in a "medium weight" class. And that he had never lost a fight, and he would always win in one punch, and because of that he was known as "DEATHSTRIKE"

4 more stories about this same guy.

So this guy couldn't drive stick, at a job where all we did was drive, and on average out of 20 cars we had to drive, maybe 1 would be a manual. This guy told me that while he was doing a delivery on a TTRS out to vegas [he didn't go on this delivery] (only comes in manual, inline 5 turbo 360hp i think) that at 80 mph in 4th gear that he was able to do All wheel drive rolling burnouts.

He was also telling me that since he owns a subaru he knows everything about every subaru. All 4 of us drivers were talking about STI's and how much I'd love to have one, and all the mods I'd do if I had one. And Deathstrike chimes in telling me that I was completely wrong about the car having a turbo boxer 4 and a 6 speed manual, and instead that it was a boxer 6 turbo and a 5 speed. The 3 of us looked at him and just walked out of the room without even saying anything.

Also he said that his favorite Porsche was a Cayman R, (which also only came in manual) and he once again said how he was doing rolling burnouts at 80mph. Even though he couldn't even get out of the lot.

And last but not least, my first day there, he was giving me a tour of the dealership and my boss told us to move an A3 from the roof down to customer parking so that a customer could pick it up for delivery. When we get to the roof, Deathstrike walks to the driver door and looks inside, sees that it's a manual and tosses me the keys, saying that he forgot how to drive stick, even though he had been bragging to me about how much he drives stick at this job. I'm sorry, but driving a manual is like riding a bike, you don't forget, even though it'll be rough if you haven't driven manual in awhile, you can still manage, and this fag is telling me that he forgot how to drive stick? I'm sorry but no.

If you got through all of that, I hope you enjoyed my stories, all of them 100% true, kinda hard to make that stuff up haha.

[15Michaeljoseph]

...A guy who doesn't understand that FWD cars can also benefit from rear downforce...

I'll bet you he didn't know it either. this guy doesn't drift, and I'll see if I can get a pic of his spoiler... it's this stupid little plastic thing that he basically just drilled into his trunk lid


--sent from my igloo via carrier penguin

[george graves]

I spent a half-hour at a hole-in-the-walll tire shop getting some new shoes installed with a "tech" who would not shut up about saving up to go to UTI. He said something about how wide my tires were for a front wheel drive 4-banger. I chuckled, and said "actually, it's RWD, and 3.5 liter six".... He corrected me, and said "Noooo. It's not, ha ha!". I left it at that.

[E30_Pare]

its hilarious. I think nothing of it until I realize the douche next to me just launched or the stang on the freeway just pulled on an m10.



on another note I can't stand those ricer talking out of there ass vids. Drives me nuts. Have to watch an episode of "Pop your hood, bro" to regain sanity.

[ky0u]

Anyways. Way back my pilot bearing was shot and made a "super charger whine" noise. To lazy to drop the trans to change it so i left it alone for a year. In that year at least 50 mustangs lined up with me at stop lights.

I should tell my buddy to turn his radio up at stop lights. Bad ground causes a whining that goes up and down with RPMs :D

[E30_Pare]

friend who owns a front wheel drive celica says he put that rear spoiler on for 'downforce'.........UHM WAT.


--sent from my igloo via carrier penguin

Back in my canyon running days we pulled the stock spoiler off my buddies 2000 ser sentra. Never thought id see the rear end of a sentra slide in a corner. I guess it would improve turn in though lol.

Anyways. Way back my pilot bearing was shot and made a "super charger whine" noise. To lazy to drop the trans to change it so i left it alone for a year. In that year at least 50 mustangs lined up with me at stop lights. Every single one launched from v6/8s to cobras. Confirmed every mustang owner is a douchebag.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[henryki]

My buddy overheated on the freeway so naturally being the helping friend I am (and the only guy he knows who knows a thing or two about cars), I went to rescue him. I get to his truck pulled over and start adding water after seeing nothing visibly wrong. After about half a gallon of water, coolant starts pouring out of the hose that goes into the heater core. (he has a 2001 GMC sierra 1500, 5.4L I think?) anyways the connection that connects the heater core with this hose is plastic and being OEM and also GM it had corroded and broke. We go to the local autozone, I tell the clerk that my buddy's truck overheated and that I need a quick disconnect nozzle thingy for the heater core, can you pull up a diagram on your computer so I can show you what part it is exactly? Before I can even finish my sentence he starts asking me if I checked how much coolant was in the truck, then starts asking me if the electric fans were connected. Then asked me if the fan clutch was still good.

All the while I'm standing at the counter like -_- doodbro. Just pull up the damn diagram and I'll tell you what part I need in like 2 seconds. He keeps asking me pointless questions and I got so fed up with him treating me like I knew nothing and walked away. I looked it up on my phone and 2 minutes later gave him the part number.

Then my friend (who is going to pay a shop to do his control arms 'because they're professionals and never mess things up') is freaking out when I piece everything back together and bleed his cooling system and tells me that he still is going to take the truck to a shop to have them look at it because he doesn't know if I did a good job...