Problem with my roomate/best friend - need advice (long)

[Jand3rson]

I know you guys are all saying that my wife and I should move, but we're not going to. We've been looking for a house for 3 years, and we love this house. We're not moving. If I have to get another job, I will. This place is huge, and we both love it.

As far as dealing with his bullshit, I did my part. I tried talking to him, and I wrote him a long letter detailing how I feel.. Apparently, it did little to no good. It's up to him now to decide what he wants to happen to us. If it comes down to him living here for a while until he decides he wants to move or I want to throw him out, we will co-exist and pay the bills, and that wil be the situation until a new solution is presented or formulated.

[Super Eta]

I'm so sick of being ditched by every friend I make, save one of two of the really good ones.

Arent you and Jordan good friends if not best friends?

[Jand3rson]

Yes, Jordan is one of my best friends. I said in the post, save one or two really good ones.

I just called my roomie to tell him about Mystic River (awesome movie, btw), and he sounded pretty cool. I started to tell him that I was sorry for anything I did, and that I wanted to talk to him, but he cut me off in the middle and told me that he wants to talk to me when he gets home. I'm really kind of scared about that, it could go either way. I hope that it goes a good way.

[KenC]

Yes, Jordan is one of my best friends. I said in the post, save one or two really good ones.

I just called my roomie to tell him about Mystic River (awesome movie, btw), and he sounded pretty cool. I started to tell him that I was sorry for anything I did, and that I wanted to talk to him, but he cut me off in the middle and told me that he wants to talk to me when he gets home. I'm really kind of scared about that, it could go either way. I hope that it goes a good way.

I hope things go well, Josh.

[Sealth Bomber]

So ah.. heh... got a spare room in that house now? 8)

Getting tired of the trailer life?

Seriously, what do you want from your friend? He's third-wheeling it like a mofo, of course he's going to find someother people to hang with. Except for the pot-smoking thing, I think he's doing pretty well. What you've had to say about him, watching movies, etc, sounds like a needy chick who wonders why her boyfriend wanders astray.

Now, the potsmoking is a problem. Particularly with the position your wife is in. If you find evidence of it in your house, go tete-a-tete with him and have a talk.

Otherwise, lay off him; he's your buddy, not your wife.

[Jand3rson]

First off, Jordan doesn't live in a trailer. Get your shit straight, noob.

Second of all, the stuff like watching movies and that shit are all things that we used to do just about every day. You're telling me you wouldn't feel like shit if one of your best friends all of a sudden didn't want to do anything with you anymore?

Go visit some of the other boards for a while, and come back when you've got a clue.

You bore me already.

[Sealth Bomber]

The trailer shot was a joke, we all know Jordan lives in the old shell of his e30. :P

What I've said stands to reason. How old are you? Old enough to know that people change, and drift apart? If it's an issue with you and you've addressed it, there's nothing more you can do. Being a newlywed and suspended and all, you've got enough on your plate without a supposed friend dicking you over. Be your own man, not his. If you were, you wouldn't have such a dearth of friendship, and you wouldn't have to worry about them fucking you over.

You're the one with the silly problem, I'm the one with a clue, chump.

[Spaz]

Yes, Jordan is one of my best friends. I said in the post, save one or two really good ones.

I just called my roomie to tell him about Mystic River (awesome movie, btw), and he sounded pretty cool. I started to tell him that I was sorry for anything I did, and that I wanted to talk to him, but he cut me off in the middle and told me that he wants to talk to me when he gets home. I'm really kind of scared about that, it could go either way. I hope that it goes a good way.

any news man...??

[Jand3rson]

Yes, there is news.

It started out with an argument, which had both of our voices raised and jumping all over the other. Turns out, the main problem has been me. Now I know some of you are going to say that I'm taking the blame on myself, but that's not the case. He has had his role in this as well.

Since he has been in with all these new friends and his intoxicating habits, I have been prying. A lot. I'm always asking him where he's going, who he's going out with, yadda yadda yadda. I realized yesterday that none of this is my business, and he has confirmed this. He isn't my kid.

So the reason he has been acting so distant towards me is that he's been trying to get away from me and my nagging. He and I are just into doing different things. He's just turned 21, and is all about the partying. Cool, I'm down with that. I did the same thing when the wife and I were in college. Now I'm married and past it, having fun with my life. From him, I get a suddent shock to the system of the lifestyle again. And since he's not only my roomate but my friend, I felt like I had to watch out for him. Watching out for him is one thing, becoming his keeper is another, which is what I was doing. I have to stop.

We are cool now, it's water under the bridge, and we are both over it. We talked for an hour and hashed everything out, there are things that both of us need to fix. There have been no drugs in the house, and there won't be. I'm so glad things turned out this way, and even more glad that I know we both have things we need to work on. He's not going anywhere, we're still friends, and we are both happy. We're just into different things, and that doesn't mean that we can't be friends.

[bahnfire]

Good to hear man> iM glad it worked out.

[Spaz]

good stuff man, it turned out pretty decently

[325 eta]

make up sex is in order. J/J
good to hear it worked out

[E30godz]

i feel like i should start crying..

[Jand3rson]

i feel like i should start crying..

Then do it!