70% OF EXISTING MARRIAGES MAY ALREADY BE GAY
New Study Jolts White House
The Bush White Houses plan to push for a constitutional amendment
banning gay marriages suffered a surprising setback today as a new
study revealed that well over seventy percent of existing marriages may
already be gay.
The study, conducted by Dr. Charles Cranborn of the University of
Minnesota, confirmed what many social scientists have long suspected:
that within the first five years of marriages, most men become, for all
intents and purposes, gay.
Soon after marrying, most men stop hitting on women and start shopping
for furniture, Dr. Cranborn said. Scientifically speaking, how gay is
that?
Within ten years of marriage, Dr. Cranborn added, a significant number
of married men stop having sex with women altogether.
Theres only one way to describe someone who does not have sex with
women, does not hit on women, and spends his free time shopping for
furniture, Dr. Cranborn added. That word, to be scientific about it,
is gay.
When news of the University of Minnesota study hit Washington, the
White House immediately abandoned its plans for a constitutional
amendment banning gay marriage for fear of alienating the seventy
percent of married voters who are already in a gay marriage whether
they know it or not, to quote Dr. Cranborn.
Instead, the Administration will ask Congress for over 1.2 billion
dollars in funds to promote gay divorces.
According to those familiar with the Bush proposal, gay couples who
come forward and ask for a divorce will be granted total amnesty, a
dividend tax cut, and a major reconstruction project in Iraq.
New Study Jolts White House
The Bush White Houses plan to push for a constitutional amendment
banning gay marriages suffered a surprising setback today as a new
study revealed that well over seventy percent of existing marriages may
already be gay.
The study, conducted by Dr. Charles Cranborn of the University of
Minnesota, confirmed what many social scientists have long suspected:
that within the first five years of marriages, most men become, for all
intents and purposes, gay.
Soon after marrying, most men stop hitting on women and start shopping
for furniture, Dr. Cranborn said. Scientifically speaking, how gay is
that?
Within ten years of marriage, Dr. Cranborn added, a significant number
of married men stop having sex with women altogether.
Theres only one way to describe someone who does not have sex with
women, does not hit on women, and spends his free time shopping for
furniture, Dr. Cranborn added. That word, to be scientific about it,
is gay.
When news of the University of Minnesota study hit Washington, the
White House immediately abandoned its plans for a constitutional
amendment banning gay marriage for fear of alienating the seventy
percent of married voters who are already in a gay marriage whether
they know it or not, to quote Dr. Cranborn.
Instead, the Administration will ask Congress for over 1.2 billion
dollars in funds to promote gay divorces.
According to those familiar with the Bush proposal, gay couples who
come forward and ask for a divorce will be granted total amnesty, a
dividend tax cut, and a major reconstruction project in Iraq.
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