Klaus the traveling BMW Roundel

[Echo30V]

We intercepted more overhears early this morning from the Klaus interrogations. During this exchange we understand he was being water tortured. We are trying to get eyes on.

Evil: How often do e30 intelligencia maintain timing belts on the e30?
Klaus: Everyone knows e30s have timing chains which are a life long item, you fool.
Evil: At what interval is the water pump and thermostat changed on an e30?
Klaus: Never, BMW bulletin 95412343.2 states they are lifetime parts.
Evil: What is the most popular wheel?
Klaus: Any e30 owner worth his salt is running 14inch Bottlecaps, you idiot.
Evil: What is first worry to be taken care of when one purchases an e30?
Klaus: Cosmetics, of course. Badges, seat covers and mats must be addressed first.
Evil: What is the most coveted e30?
Klaus: 1988 325e, of course, with an open differential.
Evil: You lie, you pig, what about the e30 M3?
Klaus: Overhyped, underpowered, poor handling, boy racer car with funny rear quarters. It's the 325eta, I tell ya, all day long.
Evil: What about the 318is or 325iS?
Klaus: All devoted e30 owners know the S stands for "Sucks."
Evil: What is the best, most exciting e30 engine?
Klaus: you are not listening, you bumbling fool, it's the beautiful, high reving, super responsive, torquey, powerful stroked out 2.7 liter version of the much hated M20 in line six. The eta engine. You are an ignoramus, sir.

At this point transmission was lost but we heard a lot of water...but Klaus held.

[Matt-B]

Nice job Matt. Klink appears to be a tricky devil. How do I get on the list. I tried to sign up for Klaus but never heard back

check the list on 1st page, your on the bottom, i added you 10 seconds after you posted initially lol

[flyboyx]

Damn! His rectum will never be the same.

[Echo30V]

All, we just received this satellite photo of Klaus. Not good...not good. Look what these monsters did to Klaus. However, he did not break yet. We overheard him telling his captors that the e36 is secretly adored by all e30 owners and that next year e30IXs will be going for over $100,000. We know he is tough.
[IMG][/IMG]

[Echo30V]

Our worst fears are being realized. Klaus is being held hostage and tortured by the evil empire. Of concern are the significant signs of torture. Notice the loss of color. We can only imagine what these filthy animals are doing to our poor beloved Klaus. We hope Klaus can hold out as he holds many of the secretes as to why the e30 has endured and is beloved by all.
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[IceWhite]

^PM is your friend. Just saying...

[flyboyx]

No, they are bad guys trying to harm Klaus...Actually they are from early 2000s

Oh, yeah.....oops.

Good thing I’m not the one writing this history. Just imagine the crap I’d probably come up with.

[Echo30V]

Here at headquarters we are very very worried. The longer Klaus is off the grid the more likely things will turn black. I assure you we will not go quietly into the night.

[roguetoaster]

...Klaus is still off the grid. Frantically efforting into his return.

Anxiously waiting for you to figure out how you end this story with a bang. ;)

[Echo30V]

No, they are bad guys trying to harm Klaus...Actually they are from early 2000s

[flyboyx]

Well, Klaus made a run for it but was chased down by wild pig and dinosaur riding bad guys. Things are turning desperate. Klaus is now off the grid. Matters are dire. We will prevail.
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Read from Post 584 for the complete exciting story..to be continued

Are those by chance GI Joes from the late 80’s?

[Echo30V]

...Klaus is still off the grid. Frantically efforting his return.

[flyboyx]

that motherfucker is a freak, ill wash him when its my turn lol

Ill be sending Klink out wednesday or Thur. Waiting to hear back from next person. If not, skipped and next person

Filmed a shift boot installation tutorial on youtube for those interested





Video embed from forum does not seem to be working...
link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wqm4qqx3Ro

Ive been waiting a year to say be sure to give him that bath, but....oh well....nvm

[Echo30V]

Well, Klaus made a run for it but was chased down by wild pig and dinosaur riding bad guys. Things are turning desperate. Klaus is now off the grid. Matters are dire. We will prevail.
[IMG][/IMG]

Read from Post 584 for the complete exciting story..to be continued

[Echo30V]

Alas, gentle readers, it is with a heavy heart and tear filled eye I report that our drone was shot down by an evil fast mover. We have scrambled the Team to intervene as soon as possible. Klaus is still alive at the crash site but we fear the evil empire is moving in.
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