The "I'm an Idiot in my E30" thread.

[apexede30]

I don't post much, but I must share my harrowing story, and maybe you guys have some funny stories to entertain me with. This morning, I woke up, 4 hours of sleep, groggy and disoriented. Had to go to work, ofcourse. Got into my black e30, not me delphin one, and started the car. Stretched my arms and what not, fastened my seatbelt, and let her warm up while i tuned the radio. So, as I was tuning the radio, I noticed a penny had fallen into the cigarrete lighter. Ingeniously, I decided that I could not stand for this tomfoolery. Ergo, I cleverly took my other key, (completely metal, no rubber handle thingy) and stuck it into the cigarette lighter in an attempt to fish out that dirty lil penny. Much to my suprise, I was electrocuted like a mofo. My arm went numb, then tightened up, and sparks flew everywhere. That, and my car actually died. (started fine later). So. All day I have a sore arm, and I finally got that penny out by stickin a piece of gum on the end of a pen and fishin her our. Great story eeh? I laughed. So did my buddies. Did anyone else do something as stupid as I, with hilarious results?

[JasonC]

I had that happen to me in my Dodge Daytona. I didn't try to take it out, but it blew the fuse right away. So i just took the penny out after work and replaced the fuse when i got home.

[george graves]

Well, I was really lonely once and I stuck my....





..oh wait, never mind that story...

[AndrewBird]

When Josh Jordan and I were working on Josh's engine swap, Jordan was hooking up the cables on the starter. Well, of course the battery wasn't unhooked (lol) and he touched the wrench on the positive side of the starter to the body. Arced and lit the garage up like a Christmas tree. Of course his face was pretty much IN the starter so he could see. Gave him quite the scare. Took a chunk out of his wrench too!

[echothreezero]

When I first bought my first e30 many moons ago, went to take the IC out to paint the needles red. Tried to undo the nut on the steering wheel without using the steering lock. Lost grip on the wheel and clocked myself in the face with a wrench.

Selfpwnage thread ftw!

[silversleeper]

other than a few random dorifto incidents, i have nothing much to share.

[Hick]

the classic 'punch in the face while removing shift knob'

[e30 Luv]

Almost did that yesterday, but i dodged the fist and slammed my head into the rear view mirror

the classic 'punch in the face while removing shift knob'

[StereoInstaller1]

OK, so here is my "dipshit E30 owner" moment:

Coming home from the picnic, my gauges quit working. Well, most of them...certainly lost the gas gauge, which was a bummer, but oh well, I will fix it when I can.

Sometime in there I go to Portland...and while up there, I score a "is" gauge cluster from Joe Funk. Cool, gonna fix my gauges.

In the meantime (about 2 weeks) I am driving the car using the odometer for a gas gauge. No biggie, I get about 250 on a fill, give or take hauling ass vs. freeway driving, so fine, whatever.

Coming home from a pool tournament, the car starts to sputter, then dies. Well, WTF, I have 100 miles on a full tank, must be the fuel pump...shit. At least I have a good spare.

Call my buddy the tow truck driver and get my shit towed all of 12 blocks to the shop, Kim comes and gets me, go home and get the van, yada yada yada. $50 later, the car is sitting in my shop, I am driving my van, all is well.

So, in the meantime, a couple of days later I get back to work on my now dead E30. I swap the gauges to find the new cluster is exactly the same...SHIT! Thus the post about "Hey R3V, how the fuck do I fix this goddamn gauge cluster" and much whining...only to find the blown FUSE! A 29 cent FUSE is what killed my gauges...DAMMIT!

So now I gotta deal with that fuel pump, right? So I pull off the cover, listen to the pump wind up....noisy, but shit, it always was. I managed to dribble gas in my ear fucking around under the car checking the booster pump...

And then, in a moment of inspiration, I knocked on the bottom of the tank.

THUNK THUNK THUNK...Bone fucking dry.

GODDAMN IT! 100 MILES on a full tank...WTF! SO I checked my receipt for the gas...3 gallons...on a tank that had 220 miles on it...the fucktard at the station did NOT fill the tank (in oregon, there are no "self-serve' pumps), the fucktard (me) who was paying for the gas didn't notice, and the fucktard who was driving never ever thought that it might just be as simple as a empty tank and a blown fuse.

Shit. $50, 2 hours, much worry, another cluster, even more worry, and all it was is stupid owner error.

Luke

[Raxe]

the classic 'punch in the face while removing shift knob'

Hahaha, done that a few times...

[86espowa]

the classic 'punch in the face while removing shift knob'

lol i have a shifter and an e46 325i shift knob, and it just kinda clicks on, and one day i was shifting hard from first to second. pulled the knob right off, and came centimeters from hitting myself in the face super hard.

ahhh there are so many fun times in the E30.

[Mr.SWISS]

I installed white face indiglo gauges....:drink:

[Turf1600]

Surprised there's no "i lit my friend on fire stories"

Well, here's one

Me and my buddy were working on my 02 - we rebuilt the carb but it wasn't working very well - so we were tinkering. I was in the car and had the carb opened full throttle and he was holding the gas hose with his thump and spraying in starter fluid while i cranked. Well, the carb backfirsd a 5 foot flame out the top - he freaked out and dropped the gas line which sprayed his arm. Naturally, the burning carb lit his gas soaked arm on fire. He was swinging it around violently trying to get the flame out. It was pretty funny even at the time - he was laughing alot for a guy with 1 hairless arm.

[Jscotty]

This happened when I was a teenager- My cousins and I were playing basketball in the driveway. My uncle was working under the hood of his chrysler minivan and apparently he dropped one of his sockets down into the engine compartment. He could see it ever so slightly sitting on top of the boot the rack & pinion assembly so he called one of my cousins over to turn the wheel in an attempt to reach it. So for the next 3 to 4 minutes my uncle has both arms and his head buried in the engine bay telling my cousin to turn the wheel back and forth as he fishes out the lost socket.

Somewhere during that drill of turning the wheel, my cousin feels ambitious enough to turn the ignition key. While this is going on we kept playing basketball but all of a sudden I hear the engine start and I looked over and saw my uncle's head fly up out of the engine as it hit the bottom of the hood and he yelled "OH $H1T!!!!" When he realized what had happened, he grabbed my cousin by the collar and dragged him out of the car through the window and started screaming at him at the top of his lungs!

He was yelling "You DUMB A$$ MOTHER F--KER! YOU ALMOST GOT ME KILLED YOU F--KING S.O.B.!!! I OUGHT TO RIP YOUR F--KING HEAD OFF AND $H1T DOWN YOUR NECK!!!!" and this went on and on for a good 20 minutes. He was so pissed off that he invented a couple of new curse words. I really thought my uncle was going to kill him. And I am sure that my cousin must have been traumatized badly because he really has not been the same since that day..

Looking back on it, we laugh hillariously about that incident today but back when it happened, we were scared.. very scared. I mean my uncle is a hot-head as it is so we just KNEW to expect the worst!

[JGood]

If you remove the trunk lid, you'll notice the arms that hold the trunk lid in place are spring loaded VERY HEAVILY. I was drinking. VERY HEAVILY. So of course I began launching projectiles from these arms. I managed to put a headlight switch about 100 ft into an alley outside my garage. The next thing I launched took out my garages lighting system, shattering the glass and dropping it all over my car which didn't have a rear window in it. It was dark out, I couldn't see where I was walking, glass was everywhere.