need gf advice

[daniel]

The only solution for a situation like this is A: accept her as she is or B: leave her as she is.

[geezerman402]

Now this topic reminds me of how an ex started doing drugs (mushrooms, ecstacy, and pot), I asked her to stop... so she dumped me and dated a drug dealer.

And then my best friend.

All this over a little weed and blow? A little insecure are we?

Just dump her if it's that big of a deal to you. You're going to learn that you can't change people and personally I think it's ridiculous that you're making demands of her. Shes not going to change and I don't blame her. If she started making demands to you would you just start doing everything she said? I hope not.

[Peterkaczynski]

^ thats why i have to get it before its to late and if i cant do that then maybe she isnt for me.
and kimmelks didnt something like this happen to you recently? just without the drugs?

[kimmelks]

Its an integrity issue. She told you one thing and did another, where will it stop? When your bank account is drained? Car in a ditch? All your shit is gone? Seriously, once the trust is broken you cant fix that.

[Peterkaczynski]

she has work till 2 tomorrow FTL
and its easter and i have to wrok till late =\

[joshuaaa]

yea the break will create distance so i have to be there forr her as much as i can and help her with this, i think well be ok and like you said Desaevious if she isnt cleared but in the near future it will be time to move on

i would suggest you surprise her and pick her up for breakfast or something when you know shes for sure sober completely. and have a real talk with her. just explain how you feel and if she doesnt understand where your coming from, then shes not as into the relationship as you are.

i would just make sure you figure out what shes feeling early on. so you dont end up setting yourself up for heartbreak.

[Peterkaczynski]

yea the break will create distance so i have to be there forr her as much as i can and help her with this, i think well be ok and like you said Desaevious if she isnt cleared but in the near future it will be time to move on

[Stephen]

I whole-heartedly agree with Liam... unfortanately

[SamE30e]

I know how you feel kinda, my ex left me for a coke head.

The weed would be alright once in a while, but the coke puts it over the edge IMO. She's definitely gorgeous. Try and get her to stop, but that probably won't work if she is closer with her friends then you.

[Desaevious]

I tried to change a girl once (cute cheerleader, even had back dimples!). She was from a few towns away so I thought there would be no repercussions. The girl was crazy for me but her constant smoking of pot kept me from being involved. I've never smoked once nor drank and I held by that code and I didn't want to worry about having a girl that could get herself in trouble because of such things. Even though I hung out with her and she said she'd stop smoking she didn't. Like in your case, it was the friends. You can't fight the friends away and say "I don't think you should hang out with..." That will make things worse. I tried to get her to change but that only led her to hating me entirely and trying "tougher" drugs. I check on the girl's facebook every now and then...she's a train wreck now.

Give her a while...but if you two are still together at "month 6" and she isn't cleaned up entirely, move on. Fast fowarding it will suck to see that you couldn't help her. But by that time her mistakes will be hers alone to deal with.

[geezerman402]

If you are going to try and help her, the break thing is terrible. It just creates distance and makes at least one of you hate the other.

[joshuaaa]

best suggestion i could make is that you cant force her to do anything. but you can be there for her to help her pull away from the drugs slowly. dont expect her to just up and stop and be alright. it takes time. but be happy shes not smoking oxy's like everyone in my town. and if she starts getting in the coke hardcore. i say you force her to stop. like even if she gets pissed and everything. its messed up to watch someone you care for get pulled into the wrong direction when you know where it leads to.

but if she wants to be with you, just tell her that you feel she needs to work on layin off the drugs. and slowly cut back. little at a time that way it becomes easier to quit completely. best of luck man. and its better that your only 2 months into it and not years in and trying to deal with it.

[Peterkaczynski]

and yes it will take time but im gonna give her the time i want her to pull through an not smoke on a daily basis

[Peterkaczynski]

she did coke because of it whats next heroin? meth? maybe she is experimenting but not to sound like abitch but that shit can kill you. my friend died from ODing on coke last summer, and i wouldnt want her to move onto anything else.