i think im going to vomit (divorce content)

[SpecM]

Dude, that sucks

I'm 22 and married (for two years now) and I know its not easy. Its really hard. I love my wife very VERY much and I know how it is when that "honeymoon" phase passes. Sometimes my wife gets grumpy about the same thing, but women will do that. You have to remember (and I do too!) how important it is to show her that you still love her just as much, just in a deeper way now.

Not that I'm defending her actions or blameing you, cuz I think she is being rather immature and selfish. But marrage is ALWAYS a two way street and is all about comprimise and selfless love.

Hope things look up for you, I really do.

[Kruzen]

Hope everything turns out well buddy, life is not without its rocky boat, your situation sounds similar to alot of people on this board, so know that you're not alone!

Good luck and I hope you and your wife can work things out, stay positive! Dont' give up!

[OOMPH!]

Damn bro, I hate hearing shit like this. I know how hard it is to go through and I hope everything works out. Stay positive. Talk to her and try and figure out how your marriage came to this point. It's worth fighting for and saving. Good luck.

[jrhaile]

I hate to break this news to you, but I would almost guarantee she hasn't been faithful to you bro.

Women don't typically just fall out of love unless they're in love with someone else or have cheated. They won't bring something like this up unless they feel guilty. Most women are content in a relationship so long they're comfortable. I know from experience and have seen MANY of my friends in this type of situation.

The therapy is a way of making herself feel better for something she did wrong. It's helping her cope with the realization that in the end, she tried to make it work. It's a selfish act that women do.

It's a shitty situation and I truly feel sorry for you and I hope I'm wrong, but I would suspect I'm right and your therapy is going to be a rocky eye-opening for you.

Oh final last word... usually there is one person that is stronger than the other in a marriage. For my marriage, it's FOR SURE my wife. If it were up to me, we'd be divroced by now but she's a much stronger (stubborn) person than I am and I thank her for that... sometimes :D

[Turf1600]

You need to get blunt with her and yourself

I have to disagree Dave, I'm not sure a threesome with a geriatric patient will do anything for anyone.

On a more serious note, just let it play out. Don't panic - the truth will reveal it's self. And +100 to what BigD said.

[silversleeper]

Damn bro, I hate hearing shit like this. I know how hard it is to go through and I hope everything works out. Stay positive. Talk to her and try and figure out how your marriage came to this point. It's worth fighting for and saving. Good luck.

Going offtopic here... could you explain your sig?

[Farbin Kaiber]

Chick taking parking fees at a meet. He is not as cool as the pic would make him out to be.

[einstein57]

MY fgiance and i have been together for almost 4 years. After the first couple years she got the feeling i did not love her the same as i used to. The funny thing is i never changed. I consciously made a decision not go out of my way to be nice or pretend to like things i did not in the beginning just so that she could never say i changed. The new feeling just wore off. The best thing i did was to expose her to older couples. People who have been together for over 20 years and don't hold back for anyone. She finally saw how real loving couples gets along and argue. If all she really has to go off of is high school puppy dog love or how she remembered her parents then she might need a new perspective on things. And this might sound weird but every now and then be a dick. Girls get bored of someone who gives them unconditional love all the time. It makes them appreciate you more when you are sweet.

[s0urce]

Sorry to hear that, sounds like she's fucking another man. Sorry for your loss.

[CAOSyAMOR]

Sorry to hear that, sounds like she's fucking another man. Sorry for your loss.

I'd say probably not at this point, but if she was then you definitely don't need that in your life.

[Atreus]

good advice, i wish i had something to add but everything has been covered here... lots of good pointers man, i wish you the best however the future holds up. whether it be you, or you and Her just be happy man.

+9 again on r3v being life counselor. lol

[E30Idea]

her saying she wants to go to therapy is, to me, indicative of a desire to fix the problem. you probably know better than anyone whether she has a tendency to actually say what she means or not, but i tend to think if she wanted to split, she'd say so.

be patient and listen.

WOW, the internet does have smart people on it.

^^^^ His words are wise and dead on! I will pray for you brother, I think a lot of us will be. most of us are a phone call away if you need to talk.

-Ryan

[BigD]

I understand what you are getting at but, "that kind of person"? Do you mean the human kind? Who the hell is perfect? Love takes forgiveness and understanding. Maybe she is just going through some things and is confused. She is married, not some divorced or single woman. Why should it be time to "move on". These situations can be surpassed! It's worth fighting for.

No, that is not human kind. That is weak willed and shallow values - it is the worst subset of human kind, the bottom of the barrel. I am not perfect, nor do I expect my friends or even my mate to be. What I do expect is for them to have the same values as I do, and the same conviction to stick to them. Everyone else is just another object I deal with in daily life, carefully.

To be tempted is to be alive. To succumb to the temptation is a choice. There are a lot of excuses for this today, to make this choice seem involuntary or somehow normal. And with the encouragement of the entertainment industry, they are becoming more and more acceptable. I know there are others that stand for what I do but I also know there are fewer and fewer of us. But I also know that even if my name was Robert Neville I wouldn't accept the contrary as "normal" and take that to the grave.

I didn't say it is time to move on, I said if she is this kind of person, then it is - neither you nor I know the answer but he should.

For the record I also do not belive in "professional help" for this kind of problem. If you have a mismatch of values or you are not attracted to them physically, there is no amount of talk that will fix this. The only thing that can happen is an extension before the inevitable. If this is over something silly like her finding one too many skidmarked underwear, or feeling neglected during PMS, then it will blow over. But what she said sounds like it has been well thought out and not triggered by a temporary psychosis. I could be wrong, but I qualified what I said with the assumption.

[smonkbmw]

thanks for the insight guys. especially to those that had me in their wishes, prayers.

some back ground info. im 31 and she is 24. we awhile ago had a "mishap" that lead to a abortion. ive been anti-kid since i met her, she is pro-life and all about kids. when she did what she did, she did it for me. and me being the selfish asshole ive always been decided to not really care. i mean what man can understand what a female goes through in that particular situation?

since then ive been bottled up and afraid of change in my life. she wants kids and dogs, i dont want anything to interfere with my sleep and small amount of income. it got to a boiling point and that led to what happened yesterday.

ive come to the massive conclusion that in life and marriage i must make some sacrifices and be open to new things. i never really understood this until we spoke about it just a few minutes ago, and will continue the discussion when she gets home. she has sacrificed a child already, being social with her friends all to keep me happy. she also has been my main supporter money wise over the last year. i thought cars and expensive purses would tide her over. little did i know how shallow and closed minded i have been.

ive decided and told her that i will sacrifice my need to stay in MY little world closed off from everything and any idea that might jeopardize that in exchange for me and her to continue to be a married couple. it just seems fitting and the responsible thing to do. my fear of this is i really hope that there isnt another issue that leads to these feelings in her down the road AFTER there is a child involved. so i guess maybe next year i might be on my way to being a dad?!

before anyone starts commenting on how "weak" it is for me to "cave" in to a situation. and the thought of "oh great, he has these issues now and now he wants to add a kid into the mix". understand this, it is time for me to grow up and realize my duties and responsibilities of being a husband. that includes keeping my wife happy. although i am FREAKED out about any change in my life i need to learn how to welcome it and accept it. i told her (my wife) a long time ago that i refused to end up like both of our parents and be divorced and re-married (i dont care what the stats are) and i would do what it takes to make this work. and if this is what it takes...well....i guess i AM weak then.

[joshh]

I'd give you some advice but I'm finding myself in a similar situation. Good luck man. I hope it turns out the way you want it to.

I'm in Portland if you want to hit a few beers and talk about this.