Text a girl & ask "Can I tap it?"

[gazellebeigem3]

a good one from another board:

Ummm, yeah.... So I tried the live version while I was out Saturday night and... well, it didn't exactly go so smoothly. I had to have a few drinks in me to pull it off but here’s how they went (from what I can remember). I tried about 8 times, but only 3 actually responded back, the other 5 just ignored me after I ask “Can I tap that”.

Description: A solid 9 with nice titties, a red blouse and blond hair.
Me: Hey, so I got a question
Girl: Okay...? (in a real prissy tone)
Me: You think I can tap that?
Girl: WHAT!?
Me: Can I tap that?
Girl: Who the fuck are you... Josh (apparently the guy she was with)
Josh: What the fucks your deal!?
Me: It was just a question.
Josh: Well how about I ask you a question
Me: Okay.
Josh: How about you get the fuck outta here before I kick your ass.
Me: So what’s the question, I don't understand, are you asking me if you can kick my ass? Because the answer is no. Now, let me ask YOU a question
Josh: (just looks at me)
Me: Can I tap that?
Josh: Get the fuck outta here.
Me: Whatev!

Description: An 8 with a nice rack and a small tight skirt. Brunette hair.
Me: I got a question.
Girl: What’s up!
Me: Are you here with a guy named Josh. (See I got smarter)
Girl: (A little laugh), ummm no, why?
Me: Are you here with any guy.
Girl: No….
Me: Sweeet, okay so now for the REAL question, can I tap that?
Girl: LOL, what!?
Me: Can I tap that.
Girl: Is that seriously you’re best pick up line.
Me: I wouldn’t call it a pick up line; I’m more of a cut to the chase kind of guy.
Girl: Well that’s great, but I’m not.
Me: Sooooo, is that a yes?
Girl: No, it’s a no. So sweetie if you think that’s how I am you’re wrong.
Me: My fault, I just assumed that since your titties were bust out of your extra small dress that you were looking for penor and like I said, I like to cut to the chase.
Girl: (set her drink down and walked away with her 2 friends)


Description: 6.5 – 7 nice body, so so face (big nose) blond and DRUNK as FUCK!
Me: Damn you look good enough to ask a question!?
Her: Haha, what!?
Me: I said can I ask you a question
Her: YES!!!!
Me: wow you’re loud.
Her: That’s not a question, let me ask you.
Me: What?
Her: What’s your name?
Me: That’s not how this works.
Her: Yes it is, what’s your name?
Me: Travis (just a random name I give to strangers in bars)
Her: Travis, you need a drink!
Me: Ummm, yeah so can I ask you a question.
Her: yeah!
Me: Can I tap that?
Her: Whaaat?
Me: Can I tap that?
Her: Hahaha, wow I’m not that easy am I.
Me: I don’t know are you?
Her: Maybe, you need a drink.
Me: You callin me ugly?
Her: No!
Me: So when can I tap that.
Her: After we drink.
Me: Nice.
Her: why did you ask me that?
Me: Because it’s a game and I needed to get a yes.
Her: But I didn’t say yes.
Me; Yes you did, like 2 seconds ago.
Her: Oh did I… hahah, okay then.
Me: Wow… Are you drunk?
Her: Nooo…wheres your dink.
Me: I drank it.
Her: You’re cute!
Me: You’re drunk and apparently easy.
Her: Huh, that’s not nice.
Me: But true right.
Her: NOoooo I’m not too drunk.
Me: Okay (at this point it was getting kind of annoying because she would start to half dance then grab onto me and she was pretty sweaty too)
Her: Don’t be mean.
Me: Okay, so just so I’m clear, I CAN tap that right.
Her: If you’re not mean.
Me: Okay then, meet me in the men’s room.
Her: What! No that’s nasty!
Me: So you’d let a stranger tear you’re walls down but all of sudden you have standards as to were?
Her: You’re getting mean.
Me: Yeah, well you’re getting annoying so lets call it even.

I stopped after that. To be honest, its kind of hard to just be that straight forward and keep up the persona of a complete ass. Call me too nice, but it’s hard work being a dick and having to have quick witty come backs. I think I’ll stick to texting.

[Teaguer]

me: can i tap that?
her: i was going to tap that
me: clever response there cutie, word must travel fast
her: no i'm going to come over and tap your keg and rape you
me: this can't possibly be real, and how can you rape me, you don't have the tools
her: i'm almost there
me: i'm only putting up with a few years of this abuse, you know that right?
her: years? it's ok, i'm already addicted to coke it wont be a stretch for me to go insane and kill you
me: ...

Holy shit dude are you dating my ex ?? :p
She has raped me, she used to drink all my beer, she is addicted to coke and most certainly is craaazy.
I was just lucky enough to get away before she could kill me.

[mach schnell]

me:you need to scrub your asscrack with jet fuel and a BBQ brush

Fuckin' hilarious!!!

[Peterkaczynski]

lol stolen from 4chan

[OOMPH!]

I would, but I lost his phone number. I also don't think he has a husky voice. I bet it's a nasally white guy voice.

Ahaha I concur...

[FredK]

Either that or the unctuous voice of a serial killer.

[FredK]

I would, but I lost his phone number. I also don't think he has a husky voice. I bet it's a nasally white guy voice.

[s0urce]

^call blunt

[FredK]

dammit, i was looking forward to having my eardrum tickled by a husky man's voice

[s0urce]

^no Shit, the r3v detectives just automatically assumed that was a phone #. Now you guys know the special code to get into my parking garage. But, if that were to work, you'd most likely be calling someone in Peoria, Illinois.

[Kruzen]

309 392 0350 is a land line wtf

[blunttech]

me: can i tap it?
mtriple; i thought youd never ask
me:you need to scrub your asscrack with jet fuel and a BBQ brush
mtriple: no problem, just let me finish this daydream of having a running e30 by 2020

[Wh33lhop]

Tried it with the girlfriend for fun.

me: can i tap that?
her: tap what??
me: you know.. tap that.
her: im not following you.
me: im referring to the urban slang for "can i have sex".
her: of course you can have sex. i think your body is capable. with who?
me: it was supposed to be directed towards you.
her: haha thats very attractive "tap that". makes me feel really about myself as ur gf. haha no you may not. try asking me in a different way.
me: let me stick my dick in you on my lunch break.

no response after that...

This one was awesome. I cracked up at work.

[jrhaile]

Idiots, try calling the "phone # of my girlfriend". Sadly, it's not a working #. *Shrugs*

Didn't call.. sent text :)

[s0urce]

Idiots, try calling the "phone # of my girlfriend". Sadly, it's not a working #. *Shrugs*