This is: Best of Craigslist Ads

[z6ne]

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/sat/cto/3952032166.html

[bmwman91]

[bmwman91]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/2370048082.html

Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin' for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don't want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don't even think this is a sex thing, it's all about manhood.

Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.

THIS IS NOT A SEX THING.

Gonna need some basic things/skills, I don't want to be slowed down by fools:

- must be in reasonable shape, if you get winded walking then stay home
- Ed Hardy camping gear, it's really good gear and it's awesome
- desire to be a man among men
- not afraid to wield a blade
- crystal, I'm not sharing mine
- must be able to make a fire
- gloves
- a knowledge of native vegetation (knowledge of psychotropic fungus a plus)
- knowledge of modern music
- protective/splash resistant eye wear
- 5 - 10 of those clip things that rock climbers use


We are gonna need a mobile music device, ipod or something. I'm bringing the music for the firequests and visionquests, Nickleback's The Long Road. I only have it on CD, so I'll have my discman as a last resort, an ipod would be nicer. Just sayin'.


Dont' want to see"

- bad attitudes
- gay/homoerotic behavior, this is a manhood thing. I AM NOT GAY.
- cock rings, can't keep it up w/o help, you aren't gonna make it on this quest
- firearms, there's gonna be enough guns going off and spent shells to pick up
- the nerds/dorks/lames/and anyone less than 100% into manhood.

If you are serious, then I promise you this will be the trip of your life. It will change the way you think. I'm serious, and I AM NOT GAY. To see a group of bros being men, a JO circle by a camp fire. The charge/energy in the air. Crystals get jacked, no lie. You will slip into a different frame of mind, you will feel electric.

Last outing, we had a group that was so charged we attracted bears. It was no deal, nature knew man was in the forest, the crystals gave us the confidence to own those bears. I saw it, I was there.

100% SERIOUS, NO FAKERS

[kickinindian]

some guy in Freshole tryin to sell an M3 with stock wheels

http://fresno.craigslist.org/cto/3923818182.html

[z6ne]

why oh why?

"4:47:18 PM Like when we creep out when she aint around havent you heard the rumours? Respond back to me whenever you can so please do that Sahsu@live.com"


"5:07:23 PM Thought you'd be a junkie because heroin is so passe today if you think that. Your listing is pretty popping rich to me for sure get me back okay Sdlyi@live.com"

[z6ne]

and some spam email replies I got today....

"I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed so desperately I try to link it with my head. Thats how much I want it from you that bad so let me know Rsyoig@live.com"

"Best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love Im the only one in love dead beat serious. I hope you are serious too no joking around just let me know - Puowp@live.com"

"5:31:48 AM But instead I fall back to my knees as you tear your way right through me I forgive you once again. Who knows I can pick it up tonight can I do that if so - Ddnhn@live.com'


those are replies to ads for cars, and seasons of Mad Men, by the way.



what.

[slammin.e28]

That Honda ad is so on point. Love it!

[Todd Black 88]

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/pml/fuo/3856743401.html

Queen Size Bed of Sexual Prowess +1000! Having trouble pleasing your lady? Think a G-Spot is where rappers hang out? Do you search for the clitoris like King Arthur's Knights and the Holy Grail? Do you have trouble lasting longer than a Super Bowl Commercial?

THEN THIS BED IS FOR YOU!!! It is imbued with magical powers to transform even Don Knotts into Don Juan! Passed down through the ages from legendary lover to legendary lover, it fell into my hands a number of years ago. What a run we've had!! But, alas, now I'm getting older and my sexual prowess has finally landed me into marriage. My wife insists on getting a new bed (she's going to be sorry, I can tell you that much!).

The bed dates back to the Byzantine era, crafted in 400 AD by the most skillfull Alchemists and Pornomancers in Constantinople. Imbued with the life force of 1,000 trained courtesans and the springs quenched in the semen of 10,000 warriors (gross, I know, but hey, it works!), this is the most mystical bed in the history of the world!

The frame is from Ikea.

I can't let this bed pass into just any hands (Just look at the sweet waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles in the picture!). Please, only take this bed if you are prepared to become the best lover on the planet! It sounds awesome, but it is truly a path for the few!
Location: Maple Ridge
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Posting ID: 3856743401 Posted: 2013-06-07, 8:21PM PDT Updated: 2013-06-13, 4:51PM PDT email to a friend

[Todd Black 88]

http://victoria.en.craigslist.ca/cto/3843914100.html

For over a millennium, the car has been the driving force behind all mankind's achievements in engineering and discovery. From Issac Newton's first 0-60 time, to pioneers driving Fords through rivers on the Oregon Trail, to me using the Dodge tool in Photoshop; cars are woven into the lanes of the human condition. But despite all this, one question has stood out and challenged the greatest minds throughout history: what is the meaning of car?

Today, we have that answer: The 1996 Honda Civic LX four-door sedan (with manual transmission).

What car says 'car' more than this car?

It has an even number of wheels, attached to axles. Yet another wheel controls its bearing. Foot levers determine its velocity. Dual-purpose transparent windows allow the user to view the world around him or her whilst also providing protection from the elements. Door mounted hinges allow ingress and egress. It has everything you come to expect from a car WITHOUT distracting frivolities, like power locks, power windows, power mirrors, power seats, heated seats, leather seats, cruise control, traction control, dual zone climate control, air conditioning, a sunroof, cigarette lighters, foglights. Satellite navigation? Why not gaze upon the stars, like the great Christopher Columbus did when he set sail for Indianapolis.

The 1996 Honda Civic LX goes forward, backwards, and around bends. Do you need anything else? I hope not! But if you're worried about the four horsemen of the apocalypse, have no fear. This car has the power of at least several more horses. Put your foot down and you will, eventually, be rewarded with all those horses grunting and buzzing and gnashing and stumbling and farting almost in unison. Impressive as that may be, these are not thirsty horses (about 7.2 L/100km city/hwy combined). Double wishful suspension and four astoundingly adequate tires provide give you the confidence to go around many corners at a reasonable speed.

You may turn corners, but you won't turn heads. The 1996 Honda Civic LX was designed to never, ever attract anyone's attention, ever. Are you a suspicious character who does suspicious things? Are you a teenager? Did I just ask the same question twice? Then this is the car for you. It is quite possibly the most boring item on the face of the planet. Babies fall asleep looking at it. Police officers cannot see it. Animals occasionally run into it because they cannot sense it as a physical object. Welcome to the invisible car.

Now, what's life like inside the 1996 Honda Civic LX? Have you always wanted to live in a bowl of porridge? Well, you're weird. But this may be the car for you. Never before has so much brown and beige been condensed into one space. Also, like a bowl of porridge, it has never been smoked in.

This then is truly an car. It moves humans and their cargo from destination to destination in a moderately competent manner. It can be controlled by limbs and a brain! It provides faster-than-walking transportation! It provides a view of the road and traffic within its immediate vicinity! It has an MP3 CD player! There is literally nothing else to distract you.

Here now is a list of distractions.
Mystery! Danger! Moral quandaries! Live life like Jason Bourne on the way to the Safeway to pickup milk. Because the transmission may fail at an indeterminate date in the future. At any time. It might have failed whilst you read this sentence. It might fail during Justin Bieber's tenure as Prime Minister. But much like the idea of print media as a sustainable business model, it is on the way out. Two different mechanical assessments are available for further review.

The SRS (Secondary Restraint System) light has been on since 2007. This most likely means that the airbag system needs maintenance. But instead of worrying about this, try this top tip: don't crash. Not only do you save money on maintenance, you save money on insurance, on medicine, and. . . on life.

The 'little click-y thing that turns off the turn signal when you're done turning' (which is the scientific term) does not work between October and May.

The clips that hold the sun-visors in place above your head have ceased to exist.

Do you enjoy dubstep, but wish it lasted less than a second and only occurred once in awhile? Then enjoy the weird thumping noise from the Rear Trailing Arm bushing, which may (but not necessarily) need to be replaced.

It once got in a fist fight. Someone punched the front right fender. I don't know what the 1996 Honda Civic LX said to deserve it, but be advised that this car may have unpopular political opinions. Regardless, the fender is merely dented. It's simply a cosmetic issue. And maybe a slightly aerodynamic one too.

So it needs work. Who among us doesn't? Look at this car as a symbol of human existence. In that: it exists.

Panache. Power. Pantomime. Prestige. The 1996 Honda Civic LX has none of these. What it does offer though is a chance to go back to the basics. Back to the heart of the automotive experience. Back to. . . the car.

So ask yourself, 'what is car?'

This car. Is car.

And it can be your car.

tl;dr 240,000 KM. Runs. Good on gas. Non-smoking. Needs work. Boring.

$1200 OBO.
Location: Colwood
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Posting ID: 3843914100 Posted: 2013-06-01, 8:37PM PDT Updated: 2013-06-02, 7:58PM PDT email to a friend

[slaterd]

That is...

[MAXELHOFF]

Jesus Christler

:p

[JUMPNYC]

Looks like a Panamera fucked a Chupacabra..

[VANOS714]

Oh Tampa...

http://tampa.craigslist.org/hdo/cto/3752494508.html

just thought I'd share this....

I'd be scared if I were to see this car at night lol

[Gangsta]

I think she fucked him...

:up:

[xxx-Lost-Soul-xxx]

wtf a monster mobile?