This is: Best of Craigslist Ads

[z6ne]

smash the trains like a monster. I'm sold.

[flyboyx]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best...370048082.html

dude!!!! come on man! how the fuck do you find shit like this?????!!!

its pretty goddam funny, but....fuck!

[kickinindian]

http://fresno.craigslist.org/cto/4030496531.html

only in fresno this would happen...

[jhaurimn]

http://victoria.en.craigslist.ca/cto/3843914100.html

Yep, greatest car ad ever.

[Aleman]

That steering wheel is small enough to drive with handcuffs on.

[M-technik-3]

http://longisland.craigslist.org/cto/4031997283.html

1992 BMW 325is with '98 M3 custom built engine - $6000 (kings park)
The car is a 1992 BMW 325is
It has been modified with a 1998 M3 motor & drive train ( E36 M52)
Motor has 29K miles on it .
Here are the specs;
Original( and Stronger) M50 HEAD/MANIFOLD/ .
ODBI ECU & WIRING HARNESS FRONM '92 325is.
ECU CUSTOM TUNED ON DYNO FOR STG II & TURBO .
COPPER O-RINGED HEAD GASKET, LIGHTWEIGHT FLYWHEEL.
M3 SPEEDO REPRESENTS ACTUAL MOTOR MILEAGE
EURO " BIG BRAKES" AND FLOATING ROTORS FROM EUROPEAN M3 MODEL
( NOT AVAILABLE IN U.S. WHERE CARS ARE ELECTRONICALLY LIMITED TO 128MPH)

STAGE II TURBO KIT :
TURBO, MAF, K&N CAI, OIL FEED PLUMBING, TURBO CHARGER WATER COOLING KIT , NGK "COLD" SPARK PLUGS, TURBO TIMER, ELECTRONIC BOOST CONTROLLER, CUSTOM EXHAUST DOWN PIPE, EXTERNAL WASTE GATE , TURBO TUNED EXHAUST SYSTEM including TURBO EXHAUST MANIFOLD , CAT ( for street), AND RESONATOR
(for track) (BOLTS IN AND OUT), STAINLESS STEEL CAT-back EXHAUST.
(DUE TO ACCIDENT FRONT INTER COOLER WAS DAMAGED/LOST AS WELL AS DOWN PIPE.
REPLACEABLE THRU AA TUNING

https://www.activeautowerke.com

SUSPENSION:
H&R COIL -OVERS (TRACK RACING SUSPENSION) +1 G LATERAL !!

KEY POINTS :
- CAPABLE OF MAKING 420hp/420TRQ on PUMP GAS !
-CAR HAS MADE IT BETWEEN 155&160MPH WITH ROOM TO GO !
- BEST TIME 11.52 1/4 MILE @ 120MPH
like videos ?: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMHvQ IRKgQ
ENGINE PULLS HARDER THAN A 747 DURING TAKE OFF !
YOUR HEAD GETS PINNED TO THE HEADREST
PAID $6000 FOR BUILT MOTOR AND $11,000.00 FOR TURBO KIT
TOTAL $30,000 invested in car
CAR ROLLED OVER ~ BODY IS SHOT

$6000.00 TAKE CAR AWAY , WHEELS AND ALL !
GREG
five 1 six, 6 four zero, 2 three three seven
Can be seen weekdays between 11am -4pm , sat. 9-12
or by appt.
sorry no pics , just stop by and see for yourself

Sucker Born every day right.

[318kid]

Found this on Craigslist. Thought it was interesting...

[1fastETA]

http://brownsville.en.craigslist.org/cto/4041446352.html

Haha!

[QUKBMER]

http://brownsville.en.craigslist.org...041446352.html

Haha!

lol haha

[ajhostetter]

http://brownsville.en.craigslist.org...041446352.html

Haha!

I think that's a sweet one of a kind buy. Not sure why it's so funny

[swingard]

too fast...
too furious!!

[ajhostetter]

http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/4119280944.html%3C/div%3E

1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.


If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a shit. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a shit. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.



I nominated this for 'Best of". My favorite line "...there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything."

[0203]

Lol at Nigerian Promissory Note haha

[bmwman91]

dude!!!! come on man! how the fuck do you find shit like this?????!!!

its pretty goddam funny, but....fuck!

Hey, for $5M it's all good right?

But really, it is years of Bimmerforums OT and friends in grad school avoiding their thesis papers lol.

[bmwman91]

I forgot about this one...not on the best-of list, but it was one that I enjoyed writing. No $20 sadly. At least nobody tried to get me to meet them at night by their U-Store unit.

These are free, on the condition that you take them all.

- 2 x 50W equivalent 2700K (warm white)
- 1 x 75W equivalent 6500K (bright / daylight white, VERY white)
- 5 x 50W equivalent 6500K (bright / daylight white, VERY white)

If you want to give me $20 for them, that would be cool, but they are free if you are feeling cheap & just want some bulbs. I won't bother you about money if you take the bulbs.

They ALL work.

The 2700K bulbs have an unknown amount of time on them, and are good for living room use and that sort of thing.

The 6500K ones all have less than 2 hours of use. I got them thinking that super white light would kick ass & make things in my apartment feel like daytime, but they just made me feel like I was in my office, which led to disappointment at the fact that my apartment does not have a luxurious handicapped stall for #2'ing purposes like my office does. These bulbs would be GREAT in a garage, project/hobby room, meth lab, illegal organ harvesting operation in a U-Store unit, or a childrens' craft area.

If you are interested, I will box these bad boys up and leave them under my apartment's stairs and you can pick them up at your leisure. No, I will not meet you at night near your U-Store unit. I guess that sort of makes the $20 thing a little more difficult. If you put a $20 bill under a rock or something when you leave, you are a true champion among men.

Fuck it, just take them.