Your worst deuce experience? NWS?

[be34st]

IN TEARS!

This thread delivers!

[cale]

Driving back from the airport after a long flight. Was stoked to get home so just left the airport and figured I could make it home before having to take a leak but no such luck. Made it about 10km from the airport and pull into a ghetto little gas station. As I'm standing at the urinal the rumblins' start playin the bongo's with my guts but I was confident in my clenching and farting abilities so I let one rip...big mistake. Pretty much instantaneously I manage to do a 180, pull down trow and unleash 50psi of screaming fury into a urinal. Fortunate for me this was a small one person only room, or unfortunate....that's definitely something for another person to witness and tell their grandchildren about. Lucky for the individual working that night the pressure and intensity of the stream liquefied any and everything that came out and after a few flushes all evidence of any evil doing's was gone forever.

[m73m95]

ok.
Early in my drinking career, i went out with a friend (dude, no homo) in his Fiat X 19 and commenced to down several ciders on tap at a couple different bars. So far so good. As we were heading home out of Atlanta i felt some noticeable seismic activity in my abdomen and played it cool thinking "i got this". A few miles down the road images of pompeii start playing though my mind and i see a Marta bus stop with a little paved turn off and just down an embankment from there, a Waffle House. Ok. Dude, i need hit the restroom NOW, pull over.
We pull to a stop and i exit with a pace Edwin Moses would have impressed by. Straight through the front door, no i don't want to order anything and there better not be a line at the door.
Pressure is rising at a square of my proximity to the toilet, i am just beginning to feel my timing might be less than perfect.
I speedwalk though the WH at 1 AM, bathroom door firmly in my sight, jump through the door already unbuttoning my pants and turning around at the same time when the bomb went off.

Oh My God.

I was previously unaware that my asshole could project a spray pattern of that magnitude. Seriously. I hesitate to even call it an area, really one end of the restroom was covered in shit. In the razor sharp clarity of my drunken stupor i immediately realized there was no practical solution for all parties involved.
I tore off my underwear, wiped what i could off my ass, and strutted out of there like nothing happened.
I still feel bad for whoever had to clean that up.

Gold, pure gold.......errrr brown. Pure brown.

Peace out like a boss!

[Pac1373]

Just imagine being the dog. Sleeping away doing your own thing. With your sensitive nose. Dreaming little puppy dreams of frolicking in the grass, chasing a ball. Doing happy doggy things.

And being awoken to shit being blasted in your face.

LoL again with the tears, poor, poor Dog.

[F34R]

Had the squirts while rafting, so when everyone went to relax I slipped back and dropped one upstream like a fucking asshole boss. It was nasty and floated right into them.

Was on a road trip to get a set of wheels and had to dump another squirt so I swung into a Hess station. Little did I know that they wanted you to sign for a key or whatever. So I waited my turn for the key and when it was brought back the asshole worker handed it to the woman behind me. So like any normal human once I got the key I dropped an upper decker in the sink.

[E30_Pare]

Lol shit sink. Payback win. Should of smile hard awkwardly when u gave the key back

[Massimo]

Had the squirts while rafting, so when everyone went to relax I slipped back and dropped one upstream like a fucking asshole boss. It was nasty and floated right into them.

Was on a road trip to get a set of wheels and had to dump another squirt so I swung into a Hess station. Little did I know that they wanted you to sign for a key or whatever. So I waited my turn for the key and when it was brought back the asshole worker handed it to the woman behind me. So like any normal human once I got the key I dropped an upper decker in the sink.

Da fucks wrong with you dude?

[RUFFLZ]

Had the squirts while rafting, so when everyone went to relax I slipped back and dropped one upstream like a fucking asshole boss. It was nasty and floated right into them.

Was on a road trip to get a set of wheels and had to dump another squirt so I swung into a Hess station. Little did I know that they wanted you to sign for a key or whatever. So I waited my turn for the key and when it was brought back the asshole worker handed it to the woman behind me. So like any normal human once I got the key I dropped an upper decker in the sink.

r3v's biggest asshole?















































literally:giggle:

[slaterd]

I was at college and me and my buddies went to a party. Got shit faced. Went to a White Castle and I had to go duece. Remember that I'm shitfaced, I go to the bathroom and pick the handi-capped stall cause this was gonna be bad. Not 2 minutes that I get situated and await the disaster about to unfold, a person gets in the stall next to me. SHIT!!!! Time for a stall stal. So I'm clenching and hurting waiting for this person to hurry up and leave. Next I hear the biggest sound of fart mixed with the largest shit slapping the water and a constant test of what the human body is capable of. I hurry up quickly and get the fuck out of there. I go to wash my hands and a chick, HOT AS FUCK, walks out of the stall. I'm in the woman's room and just heard probably one of the hottest girls I've seen in my life just took a dump that would rival my Uncle Mike's on a Thanksgiving Day.

[m73m95]

Did you congratulate her, and make her so proud that you hooked up?

[ohthejosh]

:shock: I leave the top off my vert 100% of the time in the summer. And you realize that the word "shit" is neither blanked out nor frowned upon on this forum, right? :up: :)

lol its a habit.

[slammin.e28]

I dropped a few slushie ones at Kroger when I worked there. We don't talk about that anymore.

[E30_Pare]

http://ratemypoo.com/

[slaterd]

Too early in the morning. I just woke up and I'd probably have to add another post to the puke thread if I look at the gallery.

[Zreberlcoe]

One of the most disturbing posts I've read on this forum yet.

That's for damn sure, but soo funny!