Your worst deuce experience? NWS?

[TurboJake]

And she's your ex now?? Man! I wonder what caused you to split up if she didn't do so when you shat on her!

She cheated on me with 3 different guys, deciding another man was a better fit for her and ran off to another city to start a new life living with him.

Living up here isn't for the weak. *shrug*

[BeefSupreme]

laughing to hard to share my epic poop tales

[QUKBMER]

I was driving in my e28 535is through ortega hwy on my way back to lake elsinore with my wife and daughters. My car had factory tan sheepskin seat covers. I had a dumb & dumber moment.I was crossing my legs and clinching trying to hold on till i got to the bathroom telling everybody not to talk to me lol.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwcVJMvVWDA NEEDLESS TO SAY I DID MAKE IT TO A BATHROOM IN TIME !!! LOL

[slammin.e28]

Awesome stories.

At least nobody went to prison.
http://www.salon.com/2013/07/26/foun...movement_ever/

We had hoodrats do that shit to the men's room at the Kroger I worked at on several occasions. No big. At Kroger it was intentional, so it was 5' up the walls and on the sinks, etc. Footprints on the walls, doors, mirrors.

I'd lock the restroom up and leave it for the night cleaning crew. I was just a minimum wage bag boy, not cleaning that shit.

[gtdragon980]

Awesome stories.

At least nobody went to prison.
http://www.salon.com/2013/07/26/foun...movement_ever/

Man that is just terrible!!! How embarrassing that must be for him, I would never be able to show my face again!

[Vtec?lol]

awesome stories.

At least nobody went to prison.
http://www.salon.com/2013/07/26/foun...movement_ever/

oooommmmggggg i can't!!!!
Lmfao

[Cletonius]

Awesome stories.

At least nobody went to prison.

http://www.salon.com/2013/07/26/found_guilty_of_the_worst_bowel_movement_ever/

[gtdragon980]

Want another funny one?

Sick as a dog. Hot in the apartment. Had diarrhea all day. I even told the old lady (Now ex) that I really should sleep on the toilet. But she instead dragged me to bed, where we were sleeping naked because it was hot as balls.

Middle of the night, I didn't wake up and my body decided it needed to release. Shit all over the bed, all over her, and the dog was hit like a gun point blank. It's a terrible, terrible experience chasing a mini poodle that's freaking out, running as fast as it can around the apartment dripping with your own shit.

She stayed with me for 4 years or so after that. It was that moment when she was washing the dog that I figured "Wow, she's pretty cool".

But, I wasn't embarrassed or bothered by it. I was sick as hell and warned her. So it isn't my worst.

And she's your ex now?? Man! I wonder what caused you to split up if she didn't do so when you shat on her!

[E30_Pare]

I need to find a girl that would take my shit.

[TurboJake]

Want another funny one?

Sick as a dog. Hot in the apartment. Had diarrhea all day. I even told the old lady (Now ex) that I really should sleep on the toilet. But she instead dragged me to bed, where we were sleeping naked because it was hot as balls.

Middle of the night, I didn't wake up and my body decided it needed to release. Shit all over the bed, all over her, and the dog was hit like a gun point blank. It's a terrible, terrible experience chasing a mini poodle that's freaking out, running as fast as it can around the apartment dripping with your own shit.

She stayed with me for 4 years or so after that. It was that moment when she was washing the dog that I figured "Wow, she's pretty cool".

But, I wasn't embarrassed or bothered by it. I was sick as hell and warned her. So it isn't my worst.

[E30_Pare]

Rofl! Thats a horrible prank.

[TurboJake]

I'll roll with this.

My worst: So there I am, first snow of the season at the local car was with a bunch of buddies, washing my car with everyone standing outside, when the taco bell turtle head starts rearing its head. Think to myself, "Well shit, I have all this time on the meter still....."

So I stand leaning against the wall, covered in insects and spiders from it being freaking las vegas and them seeking warm refuge in the middle of a dark town. Crossing my legs trying to push it back in, grunting like a caveman asking for the meaning of the universe.

I finish rinsing my car walking around still grunting and cross legged and by this time it's too late. I yell at everyone not to come into the wash because I NEED to take a shit, which isn't unusual for them. I always had to shit when there's no bathroom available. So, with everybody laughing, I grab a mountain dew 12 pack box out of the garbage bin, yank the rest of the top off, and proceed to drop the huge deuce inside of it.

Lands inside of it perfectly, and because I had change I was able to buy some of the blue paper towels right on the spot to wipe.

But I'll throw this into the mix. It was also my best poop ever.

Why? By taking that box, and putting the leviathan mound of shit on top of the intake manifold of my buddies winter beater. a 93 grand am with the 3100 that he bought for a hundred bucks. That perfect flat table top to just drop it on.

He sold the car 2 days later. To this day he bitches about it whenever I see him. Apparently it stank like nothing else on this planet during his 40 mile drive home.

[Steven]

This thread is so funny. MY throat hurts from laughing so much. I had a similar experience after having a hernia and appendicitis surgery. Both were done at the same time, and after the surgery, I felt like my bottom half was falling off any time i tried to move. I was about 5 days before I felt the need, but when I did, I was on the toilet for 2 hours. Going poo after having surgery or taking any kind of medical drugs sucks. And i can relate to the blood.

[E30_Pare]

Ran to the bathroom earlier. Felt like a had a baby growing. Sat down to only let out a massive fart... Whats the deal with that.

[E30_Pare]

Uh oh.^^