Your worst deuce experience? NWS?

[e30jake]

I shit in a Gatorade bottle at soccer camp to prove I could. Got it halfway out and stuck the bottle over it. The middle section was a tight fit so I had to push it down in with a leaf. Not the worst experience, but a cool story bro.

[urbancynic]

Back when I was 16 or 17 I went to church with a couple friends of mine - can't remember why.

After the youth group meeting I felt the need, so I ran to the restroom. It was a small room with 2 stalls and a urinal. I barely made it and let go a deuce unlike any I'd ever done without the aid of Milk of Magnesia.

It was so bad and vile that the first 2 people that walked in to use the restroom turned right around and left without using the bathroom.

My friends said that the smell permeated the entire hallway.

At that time the church was being transferred from one religious group to another, so they didn't care - actually thought it was funny. We then ran around in the large room where the other group was meeting and screwed around - pissed them off. Then we went to talk to the youth counselor and talked to him for awhile. It became time to leave when one of my friends decided to tell him how hot his sister was based on a photo.

There was another time I was out offroading in the desert and had to drop one after I'd eaten Taco Bell for lunch. Had to stop on the trail and do the deed.

I decided the best place to do it was on top of an ant hill. So I crouched over and let loose. Luckily I had lots of kleenex and paper napkins from fast food places in my truck so I could wipe.

[nickflic3]

@nickflic3 that pretty gross bro. Hope u made him sit on everything you had in the car. I fell worse for you than your friend that blew up his pants. You sir are a good friend.

haha yeah took a bunch of the shop towels and he stuffed em in his pants/on the seat. Thank God we had to go semi formal and he was wearing jeans instead of shorts!

-Dude. I have to poop.
-wtf... I'm driving dude
-No like really, stop the car!
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
-Are you shitting me?? YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH

fixed

:rofl:

[lambo]

to top it off my two buddies thought it would be funny to huck pinecones at me.

Seems perfectly logical to me.

-Dude. I have to poop.
-wtf... I'm driving dude
-No like really, stop the car!
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
-Are you shitting me?? YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH

fixed

[2quikmotorwerks]

Best thread evar, way better then then coke thread

[E30_Pare]

Ahah

[ohthejosh]

A girl who really needed to shiit and all she had was hard tacos from taco bell. And a sick twisted sense of humor.

[E30_Pare]

Lmao that can't be real. Who has taco sheels on hand to poop in

[ohthejosh]

I know a girl who pooped in a taco and left it in a guys back seat.

NOTICE: DO NOT KEEP YOUR WINDOWS OPEN WHEN PARKED.

[E30_Pare]

@nickflic3 that pretty gross bro. Hope u made him sit on everything you had in the car. I fell worse for you than your friend that blew up his pants. You sir are a good friend.


^^^ lol @ random ice cream truck & pooping in sandy holes

[cabriodster87]

I woke up one morning to find my toilet occupied, with no time to spare i crank off some paper towels, grab a plastic shopping bag from the kitchen and head for the garage.
A five gallon car wash bucket was waiting there for me next to my E30. lol

What did you do with your e30 today?

[Pac1373]

I once accidentally ate some moldy Parmesan cheese.

Don't eat moldy Parmesan cheese. You WILL shit the bed in your sleep.

If it's hot that night and you don't wear any skivvies, you'll also shit:
All over your dog.
And partially on your woman.
AND YOUR LAPTOP!

And have a really, really shitty night after that.


I'm very strict on how old our parmesan cheese is now.

holy - le- fuck.

I have tears. there is gold in this thread, but honestly. once you mentally picture this, the lulz are many.

[Kevinxkrazy]

i have one funny one,

we went out to the desert a few months back for our annual visit of a buddy's dad's memorial site. I had to drop one so i rode a 50 to butt f*&k desert nowhere and dig a hole. As im squattin down i see a van hitting the dunes not to far from where im at, but it turns and heads towards me. Turns out it was an ice cream truck in the middle of the desert coming to check if i was ok. Once they saw me they started cracking up and yelling in Spanish. needless to say i finished up and rode the 50 as fast as i could to get f-ing ice cream in the desert.




true story

[nickflic3]

It was a hot summer day, e30 was running like a dream and we were on our way back from a TopGear taping. (The one with the lifted white e30)

We had it all mapped out: on the way back home we would take the awesome road we had previously only heard about; HWY 74 aka Ortega. For those who don't know, the road is riddled with twisties and a few elevation changes.

The set ends and we are less than thrilled with the overall experience. No matter; we are now headed to the twisties for some proper fun! We take off and reach the best part of the road just as the sun is setting. The road is much more serene than what we had originally pictured in our minds and we are completely taken by the scenery and the construction of the beautiful, smooth road allowing us to travel safely through the S's at 50-60MPH.

We are nearing the end and I'm concentrating hard on the lower speed steep graded S curves that overlook Lake Elsinore when this happened:

-Dude. I have to poop.
-wtf... I'm driving dude
-No like really, stop the car!
-(look over and see his face, he is completely serious) Are you shitting me??
-No I really gotta go!!
-Fuk! (slow down and look for a turn-out; cars start building up behind)
-HURRY!!

Dude. I just shit my pants.
-WTF Awwww maaaaannn not in my e30!

Found a place to stop and he finished off with the help of some shop towels we found in the trunk. We finally we took off... All windows down.

On the way home, he called his sister who is a nurse and found out that apparently if you go through elevation changes and lateral G forces on an empty stomach, it can actually cause a bowl movement (He hadn't eaten since we left that morning)

Drove 30 mile home with the stinky fellow. I felt terrible for him lol

[E30_Pare]

That is a new one. ^^^