I need a PG joke

[Ryan Stewart]

Im tyring to think of some decently funny joke that would be PG for a speech. Any suggestions?

[s52e368]

who you delivering the sppech to ? peers ? what ethnic group ?

[delatlanta1281]

OOOOOO I got one!
Naked lady walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other.
Bartender says " I guess you won't be needing a drink"
Naked lady says....... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii it!
Forgot my pencil.

[BMW2ner]

OOOOOO I got one!
Naked lady walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other.
Bartender says " I guess you won't be needing a drink"
Naked lady says....... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii it!
Forgot my pencil.

WTF

[arsevader]

Im tyring to think of some decently funny joke that would be PG for a speech. Any suggestions?

..Pull my finger

[Rob]

Heard on America's Anchorman today:

Indian walks into a starbucks, shotgun in one hand, dragging a buffalo. He tells the girl behind the counter: "Coffee!" She gives him a large cup of coffee, which he drinks in a single gulp, and then blasts the buffalo with his shotgun, spray bits all over the coffeehouse, and walks out. The next day, the same Indian comes in, again with his shotgun and dragging a buffalo. Again, he orders a coffee. The same clerk says "Hey, wait a minute, we're still cleaning up the mess you made yesterday, what was up with that?!?!?" The Indian responds: “I'm training to be a Congressman. Show up, drink coffee, shoot the bull, then disappear for the rest of the day....”

[BMW2ner]

ok I got one
So a magician on a cruise ship performs every night, and every night the captian comes down and watches his show. And everynight the captain has a parrot on his shoulder, and by the thrid show or so the parrot caught on and started yelling out "ITS IN HIS HAT, ITS IN HIS SLEEVE". Then one night durring the show the boat hit an iceberg and the boat sank. When the magician woke up he was floating on a piece of driftwood, when he looked up he saw the parrot perched on the end, they locked in a stair for 2 days. Finnally the parrot said "Ok i give, wheres the boat?"

Let me know if you use this?

[Ryan Stewart]

I got one, thanks homos.

[delatlanta1281]

Nice!
Mine was from the breakfstclub, obscure I know. But I wanted to do that so bad.

[s52e368]

the BC was the first thing i thought of...

i was like hey this kid knows the rest of the joke. but you dont :(

[chuckybob]

So a magician on a cruise ship performs every night, and every night the captian comes down and watches his show. And everynight the captain has a parrot on his shoulder, and by the thrid show or so the parrot caught on and started yelling out "ITS IN HIS HAT, ITS IN HIS SLEEVE". Then one night durring the show the boat hit an iceberg and the boat sank. When the magician woke up he was floating on a piece of driftwood, when he looked up he saw the parrot perched on the end, they locked in a stair for 2 days. Finnally the parrot said "Ok i give, wheres the boat?"

^ftw!!!!

[DEV0 E30]

^ftw!!!!

xeleventybillion

[browntown]

dont try jokes in a speech. more often than not you'll get uncomfortable laughter and lose the respect and attention of the audience. Read this:

http://www.inc.com/articles/2000/10/20844.html

[Jand3rson]

OOOOOO I got one!
Naked lady walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other.
Bartender says " I guess you won't be needing a drink"
Naked lady says....... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii it!
Forgot my pencil.

I'm not going to be able to die happy until I find out what the rest of that joke is.

[shiftbmw]

Have you guys heard about that new pirate movie that's coming out?

It's rated ARRRRRRH.