Come On Down!
By Ian B. Murphy
Everyday at 11 am a little piece of heaven is beamed into outer space. Fortunately for us, we have satellites orbiting the earth to catch this transmission and send it back down to humanity. Bleary-eyed and hung over, I stumble over to the couch and sit down just as college students have for 33 years. That familiar music and flashy intro soothes my hangover and prepares me for my day. The Price is Right is an American institution and it is the greatest game show ever to grace the airwaves.
It is the perfect American game show. It has all the elements in it that make America great. It has an incredibly diverse, albeit unemployed, audience. It’s a show about being a consumer, which is what drives America: the need, and the ability, to buy random crap. It has hot babes walking around in skimpy outfits whose entire jobs are to wave their arms in front of the goods in order to make them even more attractive. It has flashing lights and catchy music. It has an icon at the helm, steering the show to success year after year after year.
I love the audience. It is filled with college students, homemakers, old people, and people in the military. This is the audience because these are the people that aren’t doing something more important at 11 am on a weekday. But any show that can have, in a row standing next to each other, a private in the Marines, a 70-year-old from Oklahoma, a fat woman who speaks terrible English, and a sexy little co-ed wearing a college t-shirt is ok in my book. Of course the brilliant thing about the show is that everyone in the audience has a chance to be a contestant on the show. The excitement is palpable when the announcer is about to call a new name and shout, “Come on Down!” Watching people bounce down the isle while clapping and shouting is pure entertainment in itself.
CBS clearly struck gold when they came up with this idea. The winnings on the show are random consumer goods, from hemorrhoid itch cream to new cars. All these things are given to CBS for free, just for the chance to be showcased on a TV show that has a viewership of millions. It’s free advertising, and CBS has companies clawing and scratching to get their product on the next show. The show rewards those who are good consumers; knowing the prices of the random things that are in front of you is the way to success. Of course, we at home know these things better than they do, and find ourselves shouting our answers at the top of our lungs at the TV in some vain attempt to help them. The games themselves are wacky and far-fetched, and many rely more on luck than anything else, but this also creates a great dynamic. Who doesn’t hold their breath as the big wheel goes around, hoping for someone to get it to land on the $1.00 and win cash money?
The set is straight out of the seventies, back when it was ok to put mustard yellow next to burnt orange and lime green. Unlike Jeopardy, which has tried desperately to modernize itself through the years, The Price Is Right staunchly refuses to change. The technology and graphics are old, but who cares? It all looks just as cool as it did back in 1972 when the show started.
Fortunately for the viewers, the models are not the same. Each year a new crop of chicks is rotated through the show. A pretty smile, a decent physique, and the ability to walk around goes pretty far for these lucky ladies. Also, I would imagine, the ability to shrug off the advances of a dirty old man is a must.
And then we come to Bob Barker. Oh, Bobby, you magnificent man. Barker will turn 83 on December 12. Any sign of slowing down Bobby? Of course not. CBS resigned him for a thirty-fourth consecutive year, and Barker promptly replied: “I was considering retiring this year and going into body building with the thought in mind of becoming governor of California, but I decided instead to stay with the body I have and the job I have.” Are you kidding me? No person should be allowed to have as much charm as Bob Barker, who routinely goes on random five minute tangents about putters or Cabo San Lucas and still has the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. He beat up Happy Gilmore on a golf course, and called him “bitch”. You know the only thing about him that has slowed down is his ability to harass the beauties on his show, and I’m sure that is still admirable. He is a living, breathing, walking legend.
This, of course, brings me to the demise of the show. Barker is not Dick Clark, and he hasn’t signed his soul over to the devil for everlasting life. One day Bob will have to lay down that long, thin microphone and walk away. On that day, The Price Is Right dies. Of course, CBS will try to plug someone else in, and it will be someone with enormous charisma. However I don’t think even Conan O’Brien could save it. Bob Barker IS The Price Is Right, and when he goes, the show must go as well. But that day is not today, and it probably won’t be tomorrow. And until that day comes, I will be in front of the television, soaking it all in and loving every second. That is at least until I get a job.
By Ian B. Murphy
Everyday at 11 am a little piece of heaven is beamed into outer space. Fortunately for us, we have satellites orbiting the earth to catch this transmission and send it back down to humanity. Bleary-eyed and hung over, I stumble over to the couch and sit down just as college students have for 33 years. That familiar music and flashy intro soothes my hangover and prepares me for my day. The Price is Right is an American institution and it is the greatest game show ever to grace the airwaves.
It is the perfect American game show. It has all the elements in it that make America great. It has an incredibly diverse, albeit unemployed, audience. It’s a show about being a consumer, which is what drives America: the need, and the ability, to buy random crap. It has hot babes walking around in skimpy outfits whose entire jobs are to wave their arms in front of the goods in order to make them even more attractive. It has flashing lights and catchy music. It has an icon at the helm, steering the show to success year after year after year.
I love the audience. It is filled with college students, homemakers, old people, and people in the military. This is the audience because these are the people that aren’t doing something more important at 11 am on a weekday. But any show that can have, in a row standing next to each other, a private in the Marines, a 70-year-old from Oklahoma, a fat woman who speaks terrible English, and a sexy little co-ed wearing a college t-shirt is ok in my book. Of course the brilliant thing about the show is that everyone in the audience has a chance to be a contestant on the show. The excitement is palpable when the announcer is about to call a new name and shout, “Come on Down!” Watching people bounce down the isle while clapping and shouting is pure entertainment in itself.
CBS clearly struck gold when they came up with this idea. The winnings on the show are random consumer goods, from hemorrhoid itch cream to new cars. All these things are given to CBS for free, just for the chance to be showcased on a TV show that has a viewership of millions. It’s free advertising, and CBS has companies clawing and scratching to get their product on the next show. The show rewards those who are good consumers; knowing the prices of the random things that are in front of you is the way to success. Of course, we at home know these things better than they do, and find ourselves shouting our answers at the top of our lungs at the TV in some vain attempt to help them. The games themselves are wacky and far-fetched, and many rely more on luck than anything else, but this also creates a great dynamic. Who doesn’t hold their breath as the big wheel goes around, hoping for someone to get it to land on the $1.00 and win cash money?
The set is straight out of the seventies, back when it was ok to put mustard yellow next to burnt orange and lime green. Unlike Jeopardy, which has tried desperately to modernize itself through the years, The Price Is Right staunchly refuses to change. The technology and graphics are old, but who cares? It all looks just as cool as it did back in 1972 when the show started.
Fortunately for the viewers, the models are not the same. Each year a new crop of chicks is rotated through the show. A pretty smile, a decent physique, and the ability to walk around goes pretty far for these lucky ladies. Also, I would imagine, the ability to shrug off the advances of a dirty old man is a must.
And then we come to Bob Barker. Oh, Bobby, you magnificent man. Barker will turn 83 on December 12. Any sign of slowing down Bobby? Of course not. CBS resigned him for a thirty-fourth consecutive year, and Barker promptly replied: “I was considering retiring this year and going into body building with the thought in mind of becoming governor of California, but I decided instead to stay with the body I have and the job I have.” Are you kidding me? No person should be allowed to have as much charm as Bob Barker, who routinely goes on random five minute tangents about putters or Cabo San Lucas and still has the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. He beat up Happy Gilmore on a golf course, and called him “bitch”. You know the only thing about him that has slowed down is his ability to harass the beauties on his show, and I’m sure that is still admirable. He is a living, breathing, walking legend.
This, of course, brings me to the demise of the show. Barker is not Dick Clark, and he hasn’t signed his soul over to the devil for everlasting life. One day Bob will have to lay down that long, thin microphone and walk away. On that day, The Price Is Right dies. Of course, CBS will try to plug someone else in, and it will be someone with enormous charisma. However I don’t think even Conan O’Brien could save it. Bob Barker IS The Price Is Right, and when he goes, the show must go as well. But that day is not today, and it probably won’t be tomorrow. And until that day comes, I will be in front of the television, soaking it all in and loving every second. That is at least until I get a job.
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