Bats really dont freak me out

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  • Collin
    E30 Mastermind
    • Aug 2008
    • 1736

    #1

    Bats really dont freak me out

    ...but I just about shit myself when one dive bombed me while I was laying in bed about an hour ago.

    I was watching TV and this little fucker flies in all like "Ya I know this is your apartment, but fuck you, manifest destiny bitch!".

    I squeal like a girl on fire and run out of the room to grab a cardboard box thinking I could catch it.

    You can't catch a bat with a cardboard box.

    So I try calling the super to bring a fucking net, but the number is disconnected for some reason. I run to my neighbor and knock on the door asking if she knows another way to reach him.

    No luck there, so I return to my locked door and find my keys on the other side of it.

    So now I'm locked out with the Dark Knight's mascot shitting on my nice flannel sheets.

    Neighbor lady is nice enough to drive me to my girls work and get her keys. I come back, and this little fuck stick is cold chillin on my blinds, like I wasn't about to fuck his day all kinds of up.

    My inner cavemen takes over and I throw a shoe at the bitch, and miss. So he dive bombs me again and goes into hiding. I spend a half an hour creeping around before I find the little flying turd hiding behind a box of cheerios on my fridge.

    I get my vacuum and try to suck him up, but this is some kind of mother fucking steroided up super bat and he just holds on to the tip of the thing and stares at me like "fuck you asshole, better men have tried".

    So I knock him into the trash and tie the bag up before he flies up and makes me join the cast of Twilight.

    Down the trash hole he goes, and voila, no more hairy ball sack in the sky.

    Cliffs: I'm a bitch, anyone else fight off a bat?
    The Keystone Killers

    Originally posted by Cabriolet
    With 73k+ post, you'd think he'd have learned a little about life.
  • delfin
    E30 Enthusiast
    • Nov 2007
    • 1064

    #2
    First? I lol'd
    Advanded Delphin Division
    My e30s: 1987 325i/1994 318iT

    Comment

    • Tree18is
      R3VLimited
      • Mar 2004
      • 2703

      #3
      Originally posted by Radiocammbodia
      ...but I just about shit myself when one dive bombed me while I was laying in bed about an hour ago.

      "Ya I know this is your apartment, but fuck you, manifest destiny bitch!".




      But I have VS a bad before, We tried to catch it with a Ball basket from the driving range, and like dumb asses it touched us through the wide openness of the basket and the girl like screaming resulted..

      Comment

      • Turf1600
        R3V OG
        • Nov 2006
        • 9815

        #4
        Did it touch you?
        "We praise or find fault, depending on which of the two provides more opportunity for our powers of judgement to shine."

        Comment

        • mrsleeve
          I waste 90% of my day here and all I got was this stupid title
          • Mar 2005
          • 16385

          #5
          I LOLed
          Originally posted by Fusion
          If a car is the epitome of freedom, than an electric car is house arrest with your wife titty fucking your next door neighbor.
          The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money. -Alexis de Tocqueville


          The Desire to Save Humanity is Always a False Front for the Urge to Rule it- H. L. Mencken

          Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants.
          William Pitt-

          Comment

          • atomic
            R3V Elite
            • Jun 2007
            • 5691

            #6



            waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles...


            :mrgreen:

            Comment

            • speedhop
              E30 Mastermind
              • Aug 2006
              • 1509

              #7
              You've probably got aids now.

              I lol'd.
              www.ryanwhopkins.com

              Comment

              • Alkasquawlik
                R3V Elite
                • Feb 2008
                • 4557

                #8

                SC*AR

                Originally posted by JamesE30
                And with a car looking like yours I imagine the balance shall tip in the favor of insult, like a big fat fucking retarded fucking black girl on a see-saw, opposite... a dwarf.

                Comment

                • Turf1600
                  R3V OG
                  • Nov 2006
                  • 9815

                  #9
                  Okay, first off trashing it was the stupidest thing you could do.

                  Bats commonly carry rabies. You should have called animal control and had them come pick it up to be tested.

                  Secondarily, did it touch you at all? Their teeth are so small you might not have felt it bite. If it did, rabies doesn't show symptoms for a few days. When you do show symptoms, you're going to die. Think hard on whether or not it touched you. If it did, go get vaccinated. I've had to do it before - it's not too bad.
                  "We praise or find fault, depending on which of the two provides more opportunity for our powers of judgement to shine."

                  Comment

                  • z31maniac
                    I waste 90% of my day here and all I got was this stupid title
                    • Dec 2007
                    • 17566

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Alkasquawlik
                    Need parts now? Need them cheap? steve@blunttech.com
                    Chief Sales Officer, Midwest Division—Blunt Tech Industries

                    www.gutenparts.com
                    One stop shopping for NEW, USED and EURO PARTS!

                    Comment

                    • Tree18is
                      R3VLimited
                      • Mar 2004
                      • 2703

                      #11
                      im still good with no rabies or HIV, and my bat was HUGE!!! I wanted to examine it : )

                      Comment

                      • Huff
                        R3VLimited
                        • May 2006
                        • 2488

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Radiocammbodia

                        I squeal like a girl on fire and run out of the room to grab a cardboard box thinking I could catch it.

                        You can't catch a bat with a cardboard box.
                        A laughed.. Almost peed myself a little. Almost.

                        Comment

                        • soccer21
                          Member
                          • Nov 2008
                          • 41

                          #13
                          Some people will have signs of hydrophobia...you won't be able to drink any water..but the foaming comes later..just remember it also depends on where you were bit..if you were bit closer to the upper extremity then the virus will travel to the cerebellar cortex quicker...final diagnosis is made by Brain Biopsy :) :) :) Ok no more medical jargon..

                          Just get yourself vaccinated..shots in the belly are fun :)

                          Chances of contracting HIV from a bat is RARE.

                          Comment

                          • Peterkaczynski
                            R3VLimited
                            • Nov 2008
                            • 2587

                            #14
                            lmao A+


                            e24 e9 e30
                            IG: peterkaczynski

                            Comment

                            • Gooch
                              E30 Mastermind
                              • Dec 2006
                              • 1674

                              #15
                              I once caught one in a towel after I somehow managed to get it into a bathroom. That was fun.

                              However, my one philosophy professor told us a story that involved him jumping up in the middle of the night...naked, swinging a tennis racket at a bat once.

                              '91 318is - OBD-II S52 swapped - E30 M3 5-lug - 5x120 BBS RC090 (E39 Style 5) - TCK D/A coilovers 550/700 [SOLD]
                              '87 535i - Vacuum brake conversion [SOLD]
                              '93 525iT - 5-speed swap - 320k and counting
                              '09 328xi - 6-speed

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