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As for your young daughter, I cannot imagine a worse predicament than leaving this man alone with her overnight. As you well know, the ovens of a bakery produce incredible heat. Those long hours spent sweating together with no one around, the yeasty smell of fresh bread wafting as they salivate at the bounty of baked goods and tins of edibles surrounding them… It’s not hard to imagine a scenario where he strips off his shirt to show your girl a skullbone tattoo on his abdomen, and her reaching out to touch it. Droplets of perspiration will drip from the trinkets on his necklaces, tracing lines in the powdered sugar misted over his chest and maybe he’ll use that sugary proximity to lick a stain of chocolate off her clavicle and she’ll touch that dreadlocked hair of his playfully at first, then grab it like a horseback rider taking the reins… And as the night deepens and the fecund cloud of baking marijuana brownies overtakes them, they will end up on the floor, fouling your greatest hopes and dreams with the raunchiest of hippie-style corporeal indelicacies. -
That's awesome, if a bit long winded.
Too bad you put it in here though, many will miss out!Leave a comment:
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Should I Hire a Hippie?
I thought this was a rather enjoyable read. Silly Christians.
Part of the response:Dear Stephenson,
I own a small bakery in Georgia and last week a young man came in to apply for a job as an overnight baker. He was a bit strange looking to say the least!!! He dressed like a gypsy and had this long, nappy hair tied up in knot. His qualifications are great and I really need to fill this position since my last girl quit to get married. The problem is we’re a very wholesome company. I’m just not sure he’s the right fit. My daughter works that shift too and she’s only 20. She’s a lovely person but she’s had her share of rebellion with the boys. I would feel strange having these two work alone together since I’m only around in the day time. He told me up front that if he takes the job he wants two weeks off in August to see some music concerts out west but on the other hand he did have a lot of great ideas for new snacks we could make. We really need to fill this position and he seems really, really friendly, but should I be concerned about hiring this sort of man?
Signed,
Georgia Peach Cobbler
Hippies regularly use their “friendly natures” to invade one’s personal space. He will start off by complimenting your clothes and winning your confidence. Before you know it, he’ll be greeting you with a big, firm hug each day, pressing his limber frame tight up against you, hoping his necklaces tangle with yours so that he has an excuse to fumble a youthful groin against matronly hips, conspiring for that moment when hands join for an ill-conceived rhythmic embrace or even worse.
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