Well....
Yeah, it is. Its not a boat, or a ship. Its a car. An old ass car with problems and probably leaks somewhere. Then again, your girl probably leaks somewhere too, I bet.
Its GHEY as a 3 dollar bill to call your e30:
Mary
Claire
Charmaine
Besty
Donna
Fluffy
Dude....whatever? I think some of you guys naming your cars girl names must wear skinny jeans and cut yourselves. A lot. Probably have dyed hair and just a whole lot of facial piercings and tatoos right? (more clever thinking Ace, permanently disfiguring yourself to what...look cool? Idiot!)
Me, my car is the beast. Looks like a Beast. Sounds like a Beast. Has ratty ass interior and mismatched tires. Diff whines louder than your girlfriend when she cant find her cell phone. Have to smack it into gear, like your Daddy didn't smack you enough before you grew up into a emoboi.
Now, if you really want to get past all this girlie stuff, heres what you need to do. Stop going to Starbucks, make your own fuckin coffee. Dont use vanilla cream, or for Gods sake, dont put that sissy ass frothy cream stuff on top. Why dont you just go get some real man to jerk off on to the top if you must have cream.
Secondly, stop fixin up your e30. Its a mans car and it ought to look like it. Beer cans filling up the backseat to the point when the cops stop you, and yeah, they will if you start driving like a man and not some gay ass F1, French speaking, goatee wearing douche boi-racer. Redline that bitch every light. Smoke tires, smoke weed and smoke cigarettes, all at the same time, the cops call for back up before they even ask for your license and insurance. Then they clear leather and throw down on you and hold your skinny jeaned ass down on the ground, knowing your drunk and going to be disorderly. If they dont, grow a ball.
Drink, beer. Not some pansy ass, microbrewery beer. God Damn Bud. Not Bud Lite, or Micholob Lite, you fuckin panty waist. If your waist isnt larger than your tire size, your too fuckin skinny. Eat some meat while your at it!
Do NOT hang out with anyone that drives any type of VW, Audi or MB. They must be gay to drive such a girlie car. If you have EVER owned a Miata, just forget my advice because you are too ghey to be redeemed.
On Saturdays, do NOT take the girl out dancing. EVER. Dancing is only for ghey men, or pussies that have to act all sensitive and creative to get laid. If you must dance, only go Country and Western dancing and ONLY two step, or Cotton eyed Joe. If I SEE you dancing hip hop, and your not black, you ARE gay. Not ghey, gay as fuck.
Music is alright. Only if it is heavy metal produced prior to the 1990 alternative, gay, Nirvana onslaught of girlie rock and roll. Do you know who Ronnie James Dio is? If not, your probably gay. Did you SEE Led Zepplin? If not your too young to not be ghey.
Hey...thats the problem. All young guys are ghey now. If not downright gay. Stop rescuing dogs from the animal shelter with your new girlfriend thinking it will make you look sensitive and caring. Real women dont want caring, they want fucking. Wild ass, bang till they bleed screwing. Do not hold hands either. And God, certainly do not slip your hand in her back pocket and she slips hers into yours. Shes only trying to get at your wallet anyway, you dumb ass! But your too ghey to realize that huh?
Did you go to college? For something OTHER than playing sports? If so, yup, you guessed it, your a gay waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles. College girls can be tricky. Their all sluts, or lezbos, so if their hair is shorter than yours, her dick is probably bigger as well. Nice girls in college, last about one semester. But who wants a nice girl ....anyway. Even so, nice girls are sluts as well, they just hide it better.
If your still in college, there IS hope. Quit. Go to work for the City, or County. Garbage collection, maybe even as a sheriffs deputy. Now either of those occupations is manly. You might even notice some hair on your nuts after a year or so....IF you stop manscaping, you ghey fuck!
Weekends... AFTER you rebuild the head on your M20. Install coilovers and tuck those waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswafflesy diving boards, all before noon of course, you may try to engage in a manly pursuit, like skydiving, mountain climbing, bull fighting or maybe boxing. If you play golf, tennis, ...for Gods sake racquetball, or like to go down to the park and "sun"... please tuck your one ball securely between your ass cheeks so you will look like the gay boi you are.
Hunting and fishing, do them. If you take your girlfriend and you bait her hook, for her little Princess ass, then she must give a blow job. On the spot. If you let her slide on that, you guessed it, must be gay.
Do you wear purple? Is your M3 Techo-violet purple? yeah, really, you gayfocker, paint that shit black. Do you wear your pants down around your ass? Ghey...stupid and ghey, in fact. Is your ball cap sideways with zero bend in the bill? Your black and ghey, or you want to be black and your ghey.
Now if this offends anyone. If anything I said above is anything BUT the truth, and if you find it necessary to flame me, yup.... you be gay.
Now... go tell your e30 its name is not Nancy, or Helen or some other girlie name. Call him Bubba, Larry, Clyde is a good name too. Not used enough these days because your parents were gay too when they named you Jonathan, or Christopher. Go ...take your gay ass outside and redeem your car. Give it a manly name. Cut a rip in your driver seat. Scratch the paint up some and stop waxing the car every weekend. Once every 3 years is fine. Any more and your gay.
Do not fix rust spots. That manly e30 earned that rust being the bad ass vehicle it is. Or was, until you made it look like a VW Beetle. Might as well put a flower vase next to your steering wheel.
Now... I feel better. Do you?
edit: I just added a poll for your convenience. But your still welcome to flame me in your 8th grade, retarded and totally useless ghetto language and manner.
Yeah, it is. Its not a boat, or a ship. Its a car. An old ass car with problems and probably leaks somewhere. Then again, your girl probably leaks somewhere too, I bet.
Its GHEY as a 3 dollar bill to call your e30:
Mary
Claire
Charmaine
Besty
Donna
Fluffy
Dude....whatever? I think some of you guys naming your cars girl names must wear skinny jeans and cut yourselves. A lot. Probably have dyed hair and just a whole lot of facial piercings and tatoos right? (more clever thinking Ace, permanently disfiguring yourself to what...look cool? Idiot!)
Me, my car is the beast. Looks like a Beast. Sounds like a Beast. Has ratty ass interior and mismatched tires. Diff whines louder than your girlfriend when she cant find her cell phone. Have to smack it into gear, like your Daddy didn't smack you enough before you grew up into a emoboi.
Now, if you really want to get past all this girlie stuff, heres what you need to do. Stop going to Starbucks, make your own fuckin coffee. Dont use vanilla cream, or for Gods sake, dont put that sissy ass frothy cream stuff on top. Why dont you just go get some real man to jerk off on to the top if you must have cream.
Secondly, stop fixin up your e30. Its a mans car and it ought to look like it. Beer cans filling up the backseat to the point when the cops stop you, and yeah, they will if you start driving like a man and not some gay ass F1, French speaking, goatee wearing douche boi-racer. Redline that bitch every light. Smoke tires, smoke weed and smoke cigarettes, all at the same time, the cops call for back up before they even ask for your license and insurance. Then they clear leather and throw down on you and hold your skinny jeaned ass down on the ground, knowing your drunk and going to be disorderly. If they dont, grow a ball.
Drink, beer. Not some pansy ass, microbrewery beer. God Damn Bud. Not Bud Lite, or Micholob Lite, you fuckin panty waist. If your waist isnt larger than your tire size, your too fuckin skinny. Eat some meat while your at it!
Do NOT hang out with anyone that drives any type of VW, Audi or MB. They must be gay to drive such a girlie car. If you have EVER owned a Miata, just forget my advice because you are too ghey to be redeemed.
On Saturdays, do NOT take the girl out dancing. EVER. Dancing is only for ghey men, or pussies that have to act all sensitive and creative to get laid. If you must dance, only go Country and Western dancing and ONLY two step, or Cotton eyed Joe. If I SEE you dancing hip hop, and your not black, you ARE gay. Not ghey, gay as fuck.
Music is alright. Only if it is heavy metal produced prior to the 1990 alternative, gay, Nirvana onslaught of girlie rock and roll. Do you know who Ronnie James Dio is? If not, your probably gay. Did you SEE Led Zepplin? If not your too young to not be ghey.
Hey...thats the problem. All young guys are ghey now. If not downright gay. Stop rescuing dogs from the animal shelter with your new girlfriend thinking it will make you look sensitive and caring. Real women dont want caring, they want fucking. Wild ass, bang till they bleed screwing. Do not hold hands either. And God, certainly do not slip your hand in her back pocket and she slips hers into yours. Shes only trying to get at your wallet anyway, you dumb ass! But your too ghey to realize that huh?
Did you go to college? For something OTHER than playing sports? If so, yup, you guessed it, your a gay waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles. College girls can be tricky. Their all sluts, or lezbos, so if their hair is shorter than yours, her dick is probably bigger as well. Nice girls in college, last about one semester. But who wants a nice girl ....anyway. Even so, nice girls are sluts as well, they just hide it better.
If your still in college, there IS hope. Quit. Go to work for the City, or County. Garbage collection, maybe even as a sheriffs deputy. Now either of those occupations is manly. You might even notice some hair on your nuts after a year or so....IF you stop manscaping, you ghey fuck!
Weekends... AFTER you rebuild the head on your M20. Install coilovers and tuck those waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswafflesy diving boards, all before noon of course, you may try to engage in a manly pursuit, like skydiving, mountain climbing, bull fighting or maybe boxing. If you play golf, tennis, ...for Gods sake racquetball, or like to go down to the park and "sun"... please tuck your one ball securely between your ass cheeks so you will look like the gay boi you are.
Hunting and fishing, do them. If you take your girlfriend and you bait her hook, for her little Princess ass, then she must give a blow job. On the spot. If you let her slide on that, you guessed it, must be gay.
Do you wear purple? Is your M3 Techo-violet purple? yeah, really, you gayfocker, paint that shit black. Do you wear your pants down around your ass? Ghey...stupid and ghey, in fact. Is your ball cap sideways with zero bend in the bill? Your black and ghey, or you want to be black and your ghey.
Now if this offends anyone. If anything I said above is anything BUT the truth, and if you find it necessary to flame me, yup.... you be gay.
Now... go tell your e30 its name is not Nancy, or Helen or some other girlie name. Call him Bubba, Larry, Clyde is a good name too. Not used enough these days because your parents were gay too when they named you Jonathan, or Christopher. Go ...take your gay ass outside and redeem your car. Give it a manly name. Cut a rip in your driver seat. Scratch the paint up some and stop waxing the car every weekend. Once every 3 years is fine. Any more and your gay.
Do not fix rust spots. That manly e30 earned that rust being the bad ass vehicle it is. Or was, until you made it look like a VW Beetle. Might as well put a flower vase next to your steering wheel.
Now... I feel better. Do you?
edit: I just added a poll for your convenience. But your still welcome to flame me in your 8th grade, retarded and totally useless ghetto language and manner.
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