i think im going to vomit (divorce content)

[smonkbmw]

we talked it out. as simple as it sounds basically i had to reach down and decide if i could really commit to what she wanted (kids) and be ok with it. turns out as scared as i am over the whole thing i want to give it a try. ive been told by multiple good friends of mine that it gives you all the motivation and determination to succeed in life. which i really need right now as im lacking in both, mostly due to working a $10 a hour job right now and scraping by.

i think i am however going to sell the m3. i have lost interest in it and paying off some debt with it in order to prepare for the future just seems like the more responsible thing to do.

i havent slept much, i havent ate, im in a pretty good funk over the last 24 hours. again thanks to all the insight and support. im going to bed.

[z31maniac]

Sounds like you do have some good insight into what's going on. Honest self-assesment is hard for most people to do.

being social with her friends all to keep me happy.

This sounds like you don't let her hang out with her friends, have girl's night out, etc.

Bad, bad IMHO. Space is important and having lives away from each other that can enrich who you are is a great thing.

[xLibelle]

WELL, this went to shit in a hand basket... one or two of these guys needs to cut it - not gonna point fingers but definetly not making things any better.

you are not being weak, jeff. by realizing the problem and making yourself willing to change to fix things, you are being strong.

QFT!


I've been through the abortion scenerio before......... very hard thing to deal with ....... come to find out a year or so later it wasnt even mine.

But having a baby is something that needs plenty of discussion!! TALK about it. My wife and i didnt talk enough about it and we talk all the time about kids because she's a teacher.
case in point, when it comes time to do the deed, DONT pull out!

[Peterkaczynski]

sorry to hear that man i hope everything works out

[BigD]

she wants kids and dogs, i dont want anything to interfere with my sleep and small amount of income

This is what I was talking about. This is the kind of stuff that you can't "work out". If you continue to avoid having children, she'll just get more pissed and leave. If you have kids you'll probably end up in the shoes she is in now. If you honestly think you can deal with it and be happy, then it's different. But this can't be honesty like "I can buy these cams on credit, I'll pay it off later". This has to be confessing your sins to save your soul honesty.

Having kids is not like putting the TP roll the other side up or selling a car to make her happy. Don't bring a child into this world just to save a marriage. You're just going to end up like all those people you see every day, barely hiding contempt for each other, living like best friends who happen to have made offspring. Or worse yet you'll add another kid to the system with divorced parents - and they are ALL fucked up in one way or another.

Every person has a core system of values, and they don't change. Caring for others and being a mom seems to be one of hers. Being selfish and enjoying life on your terms could be yours. If a man goes against his values, he will be miserable, always. Don't fuck this up.

[jrhaile]

Lets just say 3 bottles of tequilla rose, my best friend, blacked out, Eiffel tower - don't remember shit other then waking up with a massive headache... I'm still recovering from that shit but we have worked on it and things are slowly getting better. This happened nearly 2 years ago too :(

You guys missed the part where I said she didn't want to work it out. We weren't together when he boned her. I'm not saying it's all his fault either, I told her she was retarded for getting suckered into it, especially when I told her it would happen. When he first started talking to her I knew what he was doing and laid it all out for her. She thought I was overreacting because I wanted her back. Needless to say, she listens to me about people I know a lot better than she does.

Regardless of fault, she had no obligation to me. He, on the other hand, did. I told him when they first started talking that if he did anything at all with her I was done with him. I talked to her about it and she told me she wouldnt have done it if she knew I wasnt cool with it. He was telling her that I knew everything and was okay with it, meanwhile he was telling me nothing was or was ever going to happen. He told me he was looking out for me and trying to put in good words for me (like my fucking best friend should, right?). Turns out he talked all kinds of shit about me to her. That would have been clue one, but then again I'm not 18 and female.

Share! :P

You're still a fool if you get back with her after that kind of situation.

[accident]

She was weak and emotionally vulnerable. A good friend knew of the situation and took advantage of it to get some ass. The poster you are reffering to probably hates the friend but still grovels at the feet of said girl because he "really loves her." The woman had no respect for him to begin with. She has even less now due to who he handled the unfaithfulness. Once an untrustworthy woman (or man for that matter) knows she can take you for granted and you will do nothing about it the relationship is doomed 99% of the time.

Abe

Your ex-friend is a douche but it is definitely her fault as well. Don't let her put all the blame on him. You need to dump that bitch and move on. Anybody that stays with a significant other after they have cheated is a giant fool. Do you want to be a giant fool? As much as you think you might, I can promise you that you will never fully trust that woman again. Get the fuck out now.

So I was right. She is basically a prositute correct? It makes no difference why it happened. The point is that it did and will more than likely happen again.

Abe

You guys missed the part where I said she didn't want to work it out. We weren't together when he boned her. I'm not saying it's all his fault either, I told her she was retarded for getting suckered into it, especially when I told her it would happen. When he first started talking to her I knew what he was doing and laid it all out for her. She thought I was overreacting because I wanted her back. Needless to say, she now listens to me about people I know a lot better than she does.

Regardless of fault, she had no obligation to me. He, on the other hand, did. I told him when they first started talking that if he did anything at all with her I was done with him. I talked to her about it and she told me she wouldnt have done it if she knew I wasnt cool with it. He was telling her that I knew everything and was okay with it, meanwhile he was telling me nothing was or was ever going to happen. He told me he was looking out for me and trying to put in good words for me (like my fucking best friend should, right?). Turns out he talked all kinds of shit about me to her. That would have been clue one, but then again I'm not 18 and female.

naw, I don't want to hear it but sorry you're going through it too.

This should become the official r3v relationship thread

Man I've got some fucked up shit that happened to me and my wife but I don't think I'm going to share it lol

Share! :P

[jrhaile]

He took advantage of how upset she was and played Mr. Knight In Shining Armor and dropped a bunch of cash on her. It's a long story really. Anyway, he isn't my best friend anymore and she's really fucked up over it. If you want details shoot me a PM and I'll tell the story.

naw, I don't want to hear it but sorry you're going through it too.

This should become the official r3v relationship thread

Man I've got some fucked up shit that happened to me and my wife but I don't think I'm going to share it lol

[EEE30BRKLVR]

dropped a bunch of cash on her.

So I was right. She is basically a prositute correct? It makes no difference why it happened. The point is that it did and will more than likely happen again.

Abe

He took advantage of how upset she was and played Mr. Knight In Shining Armor and dropped a bunch of cash on her. It's a long story really. Anyway, he isn't my best friend anymore and she's really fucked up over it. If you want details shoot me a PM and I'll tell the story.

Your ex-friend is a douche but it is definitely her fault as well. Don't let her put all the blame on him. You need to dump that bitch and move on. Anybody that stays with a significant other after they have cheated is a giant fool. Do you want to be a giant fool? As much as you think you might, I can promise you that you will never fully trust that woman again. Get the fuck out now.

[EEE30BRKLVR]

Just a question how does one get conned into having sex? He paid her, roofied her?

She was weak and emotionally vulnerable. A good friend knew of the situation and took advantage of it to get some ass. The poster you are reffering to probably hates the friend but still grovels at the feet of said girl because he "really loves her." The woman had no respect for him to begin with. She has even less now due to who he handled the unfaithfulness. Once an untrustworthy woman (or man for that matter) knows she can take you for granted and you will do nothing about it the relationship is doomed 99% of the time.

Abe

[accident]

Just a question how does one get conned into having sex? He paid her, roofied her?

He took advantage of how upset she was and played Mr. Knight In Shining Armor and dropped a bunch of cash on her. It's a long story really. Anyway, he isn't my best friend anymore and she's really fucked up over it. If you want details shoot me a PM and I'll tell the story.

[jrhaile]

I went through this same shit in January. We weren't married, but had talked about it. Unfortunately she decided she didn't want to try to work through it and ended up getting conned into having sex with my best friend. Now I'm trying to work it out with her, which I know is stupid, but damnit I love her. Good luck to you my friend, I'm in a very similar situation. I hope your outcome is better than mine so far.

You're definitely not being weak, either. Compromise is often a big component of functional relationships, and our values change as we get older. With that comes greater sense of responsibility. Again, best of luck to you man, I really hope it works out for you.

Just a question how does one get conned into having sex? He paid her, roofied her?

[accident]

I went through this same shit in January. We weren't married, but had talked about it. Unfortunately she decided she didn't want to try to work through it and ended up getting conned into having sex with my best friend. Now I'm trying to work it out with her, which I know is stupid, but damnit I love her. Good luck to you my friend, I'm in a very similar situation. I hope your outcome is better than mine so far.

You're definitely not being weak, either. Compromise is often a big component of functional relationships, and our values change as we get older. With that comes greater sense of responsibility. Again, best of luck to you man, I really hope it works out for you.