i think im going to vomit (divorce content)

[smonkbmw]

everything was fine in my life yesterday. today wife says she wants to go to a therapist. i ask why, if it has something to do with me we need to talk about it. she starts talking about it and tells me she feels were growing distant and she sees me as just a friend, not someone shes in love with like a wife should. yes it was the dreaded "i love you but im not IN love with you" BS comment.

i am in a state of panic and dunno what to do. i feel like im going to puke. i can say all the things i want but i obviously cant force her to feel a certain way. i cant afford to live where im at now like i used to. i will have to sell everything i have to stay afloat. damn it, we just bought a brand new car together too. looks like the m3 may not make it to the picnic this year, not in my possesion at least (please keep the dibs comments to yourselves for my sake and sanity, thanks).

i love my wife. she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. she had to support me for awhile and ive helped her become a better person since we met. i guess thats not enough for her, but damn it i still love her with all my heart. i want to try to make it work, i want to go to counseling, whatever it takes to get her back.

now im about to go to bed alone, as she went to bed in the spare bedroom. its like weve been in a fight, but not.

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

my mind is racing, i feel like ass, im beyond confused and here i am making a emo post on r3v. something i never NEVER thought id do.

[Alkasquawlik]

sorry to hear that. just remember everything happens for a reason.
r3v is here for you

[golde30]

wow, i just read your post to my wife sitting next to me, and she says she is about to cry. best of luck to you man, getting married young is definately harder. im 27, my friends all think im crazy.

[h0lmes]

Her comments sound like something a high school girl would say. Love and relationships aren't always flowers and butterflies. They take a lot hard work and dedication to keep afloat. It sounds to me like you have moved past the honeymoon stage and have likely gotten settled and she is possibly seeing some faults in you (everybody has faults). What you both need to realize is that marriage isn't just any old relationship where you can cut and run. You signed up for this and need to do everything in your power to keep it from falling apart. If she does end up cutting an running, just know that she was the weak one and will only be disappointed in future relationships. Best of luck to you man.

Also, she could just be looking for attention.

[decay]

her saying she wants to go to therapy is, to me, indicative of a desire to fix the problem. you probably know better than anyone whether she has a tendency to actually say what she means or not, but i tend to think if she wanted to split, she'd say so.

be patient and listen.

[325_e30]

sorry to hear that man. thats how it happened with me and my ex. 6 years strong then from one day to the next it just crumbled..dont look at it as something you might have done or didnt do. maybe she just needs time/space to see things more clearly. and everything else holmes said. GL man. seriously hope it all works out best for the both of you.

[Jparkr]

Sorry to hear, brother! Keep your chin up. I, and im sure all of r3v, will be rooting for you in hopes that everything turns out ok.

[Stephen]

Wow, really shitty.

my guess, but is just a guess

is that you two have gotten comfortable, and maybe havent done as much to show your love, so she feels unappreciated.

i only say this because it happened to me recently, and a more active approach helped me

assuming this is in fact the same scenario

[dashboardmonkey]

Sorry to hear that, cars and women don't mix very well.

I have been blessed with a beautiful woman that gets all hot and bothered when I work on her E30 (my E30:))(our E30)

Put some of your projects on hold to spend time with her. Communication is the best thing for a relationship, good or bad. Good or bad meaning if someone is not happy then it should be expressed to one another.

If your ///M3 doesn't make to the picnic, there is always next year.

Good luck man, both of your well beings is in our prayers tonight.

[daniel]

sorry to hear Jeff. my thoughts and best wishes are with you and Whitney.

[mrsleeve]

Dude shitty deal man. I am sorry and wish you the best of luck to the both of you.

I cant believe I am gonna say this But.

I will second everything Holmes said up there.

[mrsleeve]

Double Post

Sorry

[Vrbovan]

Here are the facts of your post....

1) She is feeling that the relationship is changing...
2) She wants to seek professional help...
3) You want to save the relationship at any cost...

Sounds like a good place to start... Talk to her face your shit together and you cannot fail. I spent years apart from my wife... it was the hardest shit I've ever done, but we held on and a stronger than ever. Just be honest with each other and address the root problem.

[eurotrashm20]

Man hate to hear this man. I do have to agree with the statement that she suggested therapy as a good sign that she wants things fixed. I also have to agree with most of the advise and words of wisdom posted thus far.
I also am fortunate to have a wife that understands my car addiction (yep it is that strong). However she is NOT into cars at all. When we got married we set aside certain days of the week that are ours to spend together. We also agreed that we would NEVER violate those days unless an emergency. Almost 7 years and 2 kids later we still have our days, we still don't tread on those days, and we are mostly happy. Our marriage isn't perfect (whose is) but we work at it.
Best of luck man. Show her you are in it for the long haul.

EDIT: check out a book called "the five love languages" as it talks about how people wanted to be loved. VERY helpful for my marriage.

[z31maniac]

Sorry to hear that, I was going to rib you a little until I realized how wrecked I'd be if I was going through the same stuff with my woman.

Good luck.