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Married Guys: How do you handle your bank accounts?

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    Married Guys: How do you handle your bank accounts?

    I was reading a thread recently where a guy's wife was regulating his "car spending." Some of the responses were, "Why do you tell your wife what you're spending?" etc.

    This got me thinking about how to organize bank accounts in a marriage situation. For me there would be a few factors:
    -It would be painful for me to know that I was funding my wife's mall shopping. (I can't stand blowing money there).
    -The automotive hobby is expensive and maybe my spouse doesn't need to know exactly how expensive.
    -There are a number expenses that need to be shared.

    I think the ideal situation might be where each partner contributes a set amount to a shared account for mortgage/bills/insurance/savings etc. and then their remaining income is kept in their own account. That way car parts or mall trips or whatever can be bought without scrutiny from the other.

    What are your guys' thoughts/experiences?
    btw, I am not married, but it could happen relatively soon.
    S50'd

    Originally posted by TDE30
    What is this faggy shit I have happened upon?
    Originally posted by slammin.e28
    I can always live in a M3. Can't M3 a house.

    #2
    I'm not married. I'm 19, what do I know?

    But I know for me, if I can't trust her completely knowing how much all of the expenses are then either I shouldn't be with her or I shouldn't be making the expenses.

    Scenarios:
    1) She is upset I spend the money on myself and not spend it on her - I wouldn't be with her
    2) We have the money and she isn't upset - ideal
    3) We have better uses for the money and she is upset - understandable and I should listen to her.

    I mean if you have the money to spend then you should be honest with her, and fair amongst each other. You should care about your wife more than your car, right? And if you don't have the money, then you shouldn't be lying to her in order to waste the money on a car which is most likely (non maintenance) a pleasure expense. You should be making the best decision for each other's interests.

    My invalid thoughts.
    Originally posted by z31maniac
    I just hate everyone.

    No need for discretion.

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      #3
      She spends her money, I spend my money and we split the bills 50/50%. Separate accounts. We've been doing this for 7 years..

      Comment


        #4
        Married 14 years with one bank account, couldn't be better IMO. Nothing to hide or question it's all there for both to see.
        Women are going to spend $$$$ no matter what, the more mine spends the more I can spend.

        It really comes down to what works best for the both of you.
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          #5
          Originally posted by Good & Tight View Post
          Married 14 years with one bank account, couldn't be better IMO. Nothing to hide or question it's all there for both to see.
          Women are going to spend $$$$ no matter what, the more mine spends the more I can spend.

          It really comes down to what works best for the both of you.
          Agreed.... My my wife handles all the bills and has it literally down to the penny. It's like my own personal accountant.

          Comment


            #6
            Married, 25, homeowner, student, 1 income = money is tight.
            Bank account=shared

            Maintenance and items pertaining to safety (timing belts, trans fluid and oil, tires and worn suspension) are purchased with no issues or gripes.
            Modifications and performance parts are something I have to save up for, for many months.

            I know someone ( 25, married, but not a student, he works full time and the wife stays home doing nothing all day) who has his own bank account at 1 bank and she has hers at another bank.

            He writes her a check every month for her "allowance" which she deposits into her bank account. She still doesnt know how much money he actually has. That's just sketchy and weird.

            -------------------------

            For you guys that worry about what happens to your toy-fund when you get married:

            -Marry a girl that wont freak out if you want to buy something
            -Tell her if you are going to buy something >$100 or whatever that relative figure may be for you, because when wives see big purchases being made behind their back arguments result (lack of trust = bad for marriage)
            -Marry a girl that isnt a shop-a-holic, otherwise you will justify your own big spending by countering hers dollar for dollar and you will end up in a phat amount of debt (another stress on a marriage)
            -Most importantly, understand that cars are expensive and that until you have an expendable income, modifications are not priorities, you will have to accept that and tell yourself "No." when you want to spend your next 3 paychecks on some hellaflushness....

            .....Unless you are a dumpass and like credit card debt.




            I plan on having an expendable income some day.

            When that day comes, there will be no holding back YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!

            Comment


              #7
              I always let the wife know before any major automotive purchases; helps keep me in check, and I feel that's just part of being married. End of month coming and not having enough in the account to cover mortgage and other bills is not the kind of fail I need in my life.

              Lately though, I've been cashing in my "automotive equity"; just selling parts I've been hanging on to but don't need and using those funds to buy what I want.
              '84 318i - Lapisblau/Schwarz (in cryosleep)
              '06 330i - Titansilber/Schwarz

              Comment


                #8
                Married 15 years with shared account. We have a fun budget for each of us each month to spend with no questions ask. So if she wants a purse, etc just do it. Anyway, I also have friends who have a separate account and have a part of their check going there without the wife's knowledge. His wife is a controlling bitch who complains when he buys a starbucks. She is hot and I guess he puts up with her since he is a troll.
                Just depends on your situation.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by stormspike View Post
                  Married 15 years with shared account. We have a fun budget for each of us each month to spend with no questions ask. So if she wants a purse, etc just do it. Anyway, I also have friends who have a separate account and have a part of their check going there without the wife's knowledge. His wife is a controlling bitch who complains when he buys a starbucks. She is hot and I guess he puts up with her since he is a troll.
                  Just depends on your situation.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    37 married for 13 years. i have a little different situation where I am self employed and my race car is a business expense. most if not all car expenses are run through the business. I put my "income" in a shared expense and i do all the accounting at home, so my wife never sees the bank account.

                    With that said I know what I spend, I dont question what she spends, but if business is slow and I know we are going to be low on cash I will tell her she needs to curb her spending till I get paid.

                    You need to be honest and there needs to be a level of trust and respect for eachother.
                    Brian Jacobs

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I'm 25 and have been married for 5 years, our money is 100% shared. For car stuff I can buy out of the general fund but I usually don't. I do things like sell parts for extra money, bought a parts car about a year ago and have slowly sold things off of it when I wanted some car money. We have an understanding right now that having a large amount in savings is the direction we want to go so that is where just about all of our extra money goes. Neither of us would ever spend more than $50 (besides gifts) without telling the other and we don't even have credit cards (they canceled US because we didn't use them). She spends money on herself sometimes, I usually have to prod her to do it. I handle all the money so I just tell her if money is available or it isn't, she knows that I put as much into savings as I can so she never worries about it.

                      Our situations works great for us but it really depends on personalities. It is marriage, everything is about compromise and the money situation is no different. It is best if you set a common goal that you both agree on, then before you spend anything, you can ask yourself if it follows that goal.
                      sigpic

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by Bavarian3 View Post
                        She spends her money, I spend my money and we split the bills 50/50%. Separate accounts. We've been doing this for 7 years..

                        Listen to this man.

                        Everybody I know with a fairly successul but more importantly, stable marriage, does this or something similar.

                        When you go throwing all of your money in to the same pot, shit gets messy. Suddenly she wants to know why "she's" paying several hundred for car parts that she doesn't understand, you want to know why "you're" paying for mall trips that you don't understand, etc...

                        My father, even being the asshole that he is, had one good piece of advice: Keep your SO and your bank account separate.
                        -Mike

                        1985 Volvo 245DL "The Battlewagon"

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                          #13
                          -It would be painful for me to know that I was funding my wife's mall shopping. (I can't stand blowing money there).
                          -The automotive hobby is expensive and maybe my spouse doesn't need to know exactly how expensive.

                          That is just being a dick right there. You are basically saying you want the money spent where you want it spent. Spouses that have their needs ignored usually find an outlet where you are not included. She will probably be sucking of the ex-boyfriend while you are out Auto-xing.



                          "I think the ideal situation might be where each partner contributes a set amount to a shared account for mortgage/bills/insurance/savings etc. and then their remaining income is kept in their own account. That way car parts or mall trips or whatever can be bought without scrutiny from the other."

                          Other way around, look up a zero based budget. Your money goes somewhere every month, every penny. Savings is a place btw.

                          In our household I make the salary. She sells houses. Our money has it's places and every week we each get an allowance. Childish? So what we have our own mad money that we can do what we wish. I buy bikes, motorcycle parts, hobby type stuff with my money. All income goes in our main account. Savings is moved every week to either interest bearing savings or investment account. When she sells a house we put it in savings pay big bills up front, send in another 6 months of auto ins, put away for RE dues, and splurge a little. When a purchase is too big for allowance the main account buys it, but we both approve the purchase and ask ourselves if we really want it. I just got my watch replaced, camera stuff, 6 books, and a digital picture frame, granted the frame is both of us and the order was $300, I'm still going out later to pick her up an early bday present, a Coach purse. She really likes them and treats them well so I do not mind.
                          i'lldoitforacaravan

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by thebornotaku View Post
                            Listen to this man.

                            My father, even being the asshole that he is, had one good piece of advice: Keep your SO and your bank account separate.
                            Your "SO"? what is that?
                            i'lldoitforacaravan

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I will venture to say "signifacant other"
                              Brian Jacobs

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