Married Guys: How do you handle your bank accounts?

[BigD]

True. That would be bad news.

lol yeah, although other than rolling her eyes at me, I would get away with it. Takes a very patient and understanding woman to put up with an unstable asshole like me. This was our livingroom in Vancouver when I first started the swap:

[thebornotaku]

So, your dad was an jerk by your own admission yet you'll heed his marital advice? That's like Hugh Hefner telling me how to be a good husband.

he had a habit of giving me advice regardless if i was asking for it or not, or even if it was relevant, and he's an asshole for other reasons anyways.

[Lof8]

Damn, a lot of variety here. Most of it is pretty insightful. I can see the arguments for shared and separate accounts.

Personally, I think a guy earning everything and giving an "allowance" is fucking retarded. Similarly, I think discussing every purchase or getting the "ok" from your spouse is also stupid. Are you not capable of deciding if your desires are reasonable? Fuck that. I'm smart with my money. I save a lot. I also share a lot with my girlfriend. If you need to disucss every purchase for the sake of "being fair, in a partnership, a team, etc," then you're giving up a lot in efficiency. In my experience, the successful act in a quick, decisive manner.

We are both fresh college grads in a shit economy/job market but have landed jobs ~45k/year. We both have saving and investing as a priority.


Keep the opinions coming.

[dinanm3atl]

^

I think maybe you are taking what some are saying the wrong way. I ask about purchases like a car. I didn't ask when I ordered my M52, GCs and BBK. Just like my wife doesn't ask if she can stop at a store on the way home from work. She just does it. As you said we are smart with money. I don't buy GCs when we can't pay the real bills.

People aren't asking, at least I don't think, if they can go hit the McDonald's Drive Thru. Less things are really tight.

[b*saint]

we have 3 bank accounts. One shared, one reimburstment ream, one corporate checking account.

[Kruzen]

I'm recently married and we're trying to figure out how to do bank accoutns right now.

I have always used my checking account as a repository for spending and never balanced a checkbook in my life because I keep track of my spending habits online, and use a credit card for all expenses and then pay it off at the end of the month.

My wife however prefers to use cash and balances a checkbook to keep track of her spending.


We're going back and forth between having a 'family' account and an account just to throw some 'allowance' in for her to spend with without question since I am the breadwinner.

[Ray Smoodiver]

I'm recently married and we're trying to figure out how to do bank accoutns right now.

Wait, WHAT.

[thereisnoyun]

Similarly, I think discussing every purchase or getting the "ok" from your spouse is also stupid. Are you not capable of deciding if your desires are reasonable? Fuck that.

thats a very gray area, if yo uare cranking in 250k, a car part wouldnt need discussing, but if you are making 45k and have mortgages and bills to pay a 200 dollar part is worth asking for approval from spouse. Its a very relative poitn of view, and "every purchase" is also vague, does this include grocery shopping? does this include buying stuff to fix for the house that is broken. I think thats over generalized.

Also there is an age related issue. If she is 19 and in college and you are say 23 fresh out of college making 50k, surely shes not going to be paying any bills.

I think joint bank account is good when everyone is married. Its a check and balance system of protecting each otehr from each otehrs vices. AKA women like to spend on shopping, and men likes thier toys.

[BigD]

I ask about purchases like a car.

I think ask isn't the right way to put it. You probably discuss these things. Ask sounds like if she says no then that's it. It's a partnership, and must be so in every way. If the partnership is to last then it will only make you happy to see your significant other get something they want - in fact you should try to find out what that is and get it for them before they can.

If you're not children then you both know what is and what isn't reasonable. At that point, it's a matter of telling your partner that you want this and discuss how you're going to go about it - do you have enough cash now and just going to go and pull the trigger? Do you need to save up for a few months and maybe need her to pitch in?

If you're seriously worried about getting shit for pursuing your interests, then it's not going to last. You can try to drag it out longer but this is not something you can compromise on and something you should know before getting serious - not whether or not she fucks good (well that too, but that you should know already) but whether or not you like, or at least can tolerate, the other person's dumbass interests and malfunctions. It's the reason why I roll my eyes at anyone who gets married without having lived together for at least a month. They get divorced (or keep living together as feudal roommates) saying how wonderful it was while they were dating then the other person turned into an asshole. Anyone can be wonderful for a few hours a day or a week. What makes a lasting relationship is how well you tolerate each others dark side (as Chris Rock put it, "the crust of a motherfucker").

If you find someone like that then you'll realize that shit like whether or not your accounts are joint makes no fucking difference, beyond practicality.

[TheB1G Lebowski]

Married I pay all the bills, and we spend the wifes money. But i do have some left over when i get done paying all the bills so that is untraceable for her. Works great so far 2 years strong.

[z31maniac]

Been with my girlfriend 3.5 years, lived together for three. We will be getting hitched sooner rather than later and will keep our setup the same as it now.

Mortgage/bills/groceries/house maintanence/entertainment, we split right down the middle 50/50. After that it's whatever we want to spend our money on. She doesn't fund my car/audio habits and I don't pay for her shopping trips.

We both bring home about the same salary, actually she brings home even a bit more than I do, so I think it's a pretty fair setup.

She is also self-employed, so having her own accounts is helpful for tax time as well.

And with this setup there is never arguments over money either. So it works for us.

[Court M3]

Wait, WHAT.

Same thing I said when I read that first line!

[BeLzEbUb58]

I remeber when I came home with a (then) new Z3 2.8 coupe. Man she was pissed.

Just did that with a 99 e36 vert. Bought it for $3k, probably worth $4.5k if not more. Took her for ride with the top down to her favorite restaurant in Napa. I think its a keeper. I told her worse case scenario is we could make money.
She got over it.

[MrSlacker]

Question for people with separate accounts. How do you set up savings? Do you pay 50/50 for big ticket items that are needed for the entire family?

[///e30freak]

My wife and I have one account. When I spend too much money she just beats me.