what would rev do

[b*saint]

So my wife told me she has been smoking behind everyone's back since she "quit" smoking two years ago. Should I be upset or what? On one hand its her choice, on the other I dont get why she had to keep it from me.

[erik325i]

It depends how you feel about it. If you say you don't care, than what's the big deal?
I don't want my girlfriend to smoke, so I would care if I found out she was doing it behind my back.

Erik

[mamzak]

How did you not notice is my question?

[Maluco]

yeah, doing it behind my back would be the thing that gets me the most. It's difficult to understand how in two years you didn't find out, but that's neither here nor there. What can you do? Continue supporting her trying to quit and seek out all options. The worst that comes from smoking is leaving your loved ones prematurely. That's my biggest motivation to quit.

[b*saint]

I think she worse about it than me! I was doing my expense reports and trying to figure out when and where since she pulled it off pretty good, and she's sitting there sobing.

[Jand3rson]

I would be concerned about what else she's been lying to you about. Lies in a relationship are like mice in your house. There's NEVER just one.

[b*saint]

Funny you mention that, she also just admitted to taking oxy to get high last summer for a few month when she felt "disconnected"

[Inline Sex]

Time to invest in some expensive spy equipment.

[mrsleeve]

Time to invest in a divorce.

Fixed that for you.

You why divorces are so expensive????????????? Because they are WORTH IT.

In all seriousness B, You need 2 need sit down and have a long talk about this, and you need to make your self clear on what aggravates you the most about this. you both need to come 100% clean to each other about anything that may even be slightly questionable. And the sooner the better shit like this just festers.

[mamzak]

Time to invest in a new wife.

[Alkasquawlik]

The lying is what would be a HUGE red flag to be, not so much the smoking.

How old are you and the wife??

[Atreus]

the lying is a huge flag for me. went through the same thing with my current gf.... smoking, lied about it. blah.

how do you feel? what do you want to do? if something as trivial as smoking cigs is an issue like this, i personally wonder what else is there....

my gf and i almost broke up over it. i chose to trust, and move on, here's to hoping i made the right choice....

[joshuaaa]

my honest opinion, definately proceed with caution man. cigarettes are one thing, but getting into oxy is no joke. considering she says she felt disconnected and thats why she was taking them. oxy will only make her more isolated from friends and family. id make sure theres no other stuff going on and if she was smoking oxy for a few months, you should be careful shes not still doin that shit. people tend to not just smoke oxy for a few months and be fine after it and stop. they will lie and hide everything from you becoming a completely different person.

i know this from personal experience with lots of friends goin down that road.

best of luck with whatever happens and with what you decide to do.

[chadthestampede]

I would be concerned about what else she's been lying to you about. Lies in a relationship are like mice in your house. There's NEVER just one.

This. Wait for the other shoe to drop.

[Jand3rson]

This. Wait for the other shoe to drop.

I would not recommend this. If this is a marriage that you are both serious about, I think it's time for you two to have a very serious conversation, and possibly look at marriage counseling. Lies like this in a relationship are the product of deeper issues, and if more are coming out after the first one, don't expect them to stop anytime soon.

You can't fix this by just pulling the bulb or turning the radio up louder.