Any one here ever been to jail?

[imsotyerred]

Yeah that would be pretty ironic since you bought one when you were 18, remember? Did you ever get that bad boy off?

Quoted for lulz

nice burn

[Peterkaczynski]

[TheEtaUnderdog]

I have no stories. My brother is a fucktard tho... he has been written 21 tickets (Not 21 violations, 21 tickets, most of which had multiple violations). The only reason he still has his license is because to go from our town to phoenix is through resi territory. So they just give you a huge ass fine and let you go on your merry way, nothing on your record or insurance. he only has 2 tickets on his record.

But lets see, his first car was a 1990 735il. I was sitting passenger mostly asleep when he got his first ticket. had the car topped out around 140ish, and slowed down to 101 for a sharp curve, this was in a 55, cop pulled him over, was about to put the cuffs on him, realized he was a minor and had to call my pops. now, my dad can talk his way through anything, get free shit, discounted shit, get people out of trouble, basically he should've been a lawyer and would've been a DAMN good one. cop then says he'll lower it to a 66 in a 55 and let him off.

Now, unlike the dumb ass OP who wrecked his car on his first attempt, my brother too was a dumb ass and ran, 5 separate occasions. got away each time too. that car was wrecked when someone made a left turn in front of him, now he drives slow in 94 dodge 1500. except when he's off road, but those are other stories.... :)

physics and your story don't get along

[thornado327i]

You can eat all the food in the world in that place but because it's so terrible and lacking in the nutritious department, you lose weight.

You've lost weight for some other reasons.

The food you were eating is most probably full of protein. Bon apetit.

[phreshkid]

No raping happened in county jail, that's more of a pen thing. I got a job in laundry, folded clothes like the best of them, then got a 5 day early kick for working. 3 weeks and 2 days, and 10 pounds lighter, I'm alive. You can eat all the food in the world in that place but because it's so terrible and lacking in the nutritious department, you lose weight.

[jeffw]

I spent most of my juvenile years in juvie and 4 years in the state pen here in oregon. Here its like summer camp with your random retard that thinks they are tough. as long as you aren't a rat or a rapist you are fine lol

[IsoGrifo]

I have no stories. My brother is a fucktard tho... he has been written 21 tickets (Not 21 violations, 21 tickets, most of which had multiple violations). The only reason he still has his license is because to go from our town to phoenix is through resi territory. So they just give you a huge ass fine and let you go on your merry way, nothing on your record or insurance. he only has 2 tickets on his record.

But lets see, his first car was a 1990 735il. I was sitting passenger mostly asleep when he got his first ticket. had the car topped out around 140ish, and slowed down to 101 for a sharp curve, this was in a 55, cop pulled him over, was about to put the cuffs on him, realized he was a minor and had to call my pops. now, my dad can talk his way through anything, get free shit, discounted shit, get people out of trouble, basically he should've been a lawyer and would've been a DAMN good one. cop then says he'll lower it to a 66 in a 55 and let him off.

Now, unlike the dumb ass OP who wrecked his car on his first attempt, my brother too was a dumb ass and ran, 5 separate occasions. got away each time too. that car was wrecked when someone made a left turn in front of him, now he drives slow in 94 dodge 1500. except when he's off road, but those are other stories.... :)

[freeride53]

I survived.

No you didn't

[xwill112x]

and got raped..

[phreshkid]

I survived.

[Matt-B]

yes :(

[Fidhle007]

Don't you have some plaid to sew?

[Matt-B]

You are so dumb it hurts.

yea Fidhle,

Stop being a fuckhead and use your real head.

What a matter with you....lol

OP, you provide lawls

[Fidhle007]

Hey fiddle wise guy, use your brain and think for a second. A preteen would go to juvenile hall for preteen offenses. Stop being a fuckhead and use your real head. You're only disappointing your parents right now.

You are so dumb it hurts.

[VacMan]

So you went on and ran away, crashed, arrested.

You are probably going to get an unfair trial that's going to be in the papers. There will be some protests from the general public and some mild riots. It's not going to change the fact that you will get jailed...

You will probably get a cell with an over-religious latino guy who will advise you to stay out of trouble. You - being a rebel - won't listen and will get in trouble with at least two gangs and of course the warden (old guy with white mustache and frowned face).

After getting some injuries (both physical and mental) you will agree with the warden you will do something for the common good of the jail community and PR. On this occasion you will accidentally meet wardens pretty daughter.

You discover your well hidden talent - singing. Soon you find some geeky friends who share your passion and you form a chorus. everybody will be laughing at you and your crew (calling you sissies and fags etc.) in the beginning, but as your initiative gets more and more popular even some gangs' members join the chorus.

Meanwhile you get pretty strongly involved in a relationship with warden's daughter. You start sending yourselves secret love letters, and the feeling grows in both of you.

Finally big day has come - prior to being released, a show has been scheduled, where you and your chorus will be the main stars. Same day warden finds out about your feelings toward his daughter. He's not happy about this, and forbids you two to meet ever again. Girl being furious joins your chorus to show her daddy where she feels right (of course she can sing - what? didn't you know?).

And the show starts. Warden is all frowned about the chorus's performance but seeing how you to go into a double-singing something passionate and full of love (let's say "Just the two of us") his heart is starting to melt...

And then freedom comes. You are released from jail and you go home with your new girlfriend. Unfortunately during the first night you spend together, you discover the prison life has left you scarred and sex brings painful memories...

But your sweetheart sees more qualities in you and tells you not to worry and that you will work this out together.

The end.

There.

How the hell did more people not give props for this story? Frickin' hilarious.

And to follow up with this? Epic! One of the best movies ever!

Fucking beautiful story. Brought a tear to my eye.

Finally. I guess you and I are the only ones who appreciate good humor anymore.