One of the ways to control oneself is to get in touch with how your body works. It's important if you have rage or anger issues to understand when you are escalating before you lose control. So things like yoga or meditation are very helpful in this regard. As you start to understand your body and how it feels in a rested/relaxed state, you can start to do things to head off anger when your pulse quickens or your temperature rises.
Once you start to feel those kinds of things, it's important to personalize the object of your anger. If it's a person, for example, it will be helpful to remind yourself that the person you are angry at is a person just like you, has a family who loves him just like you, and has hopes and dreams and aspirations just like you. That way you start to reconnect yourself to the object of your anger.
You'll notice you do the opposite of this when you start to lose control. You'll be able to pair this with your realization of your body's internals if you do the yoga/meditation stuff I suggested earlier. Pay attention to cues like: that fucker, those types, these kinds, and other kinds of phrases that tend to objectify the target of your anger.
So when you start to think in your mind, oh damn those motherfuckers or that asshole, and your pulse is quickening then you know it's time to start reminding yourself what I wrote and making sure you are breathing correctly--deeply and slowly. That's what we humans do when we're under stress, our bodies start to shut down and gear up for flight or fight. So our breathing becomes shallow and our appendages get less circulation. Those are your signals that your body is undergoing tremendous stress.
When you do that, your brain starts to revert to what we call the reptilian brain. It's the smaller portion down in the base of your neck. It's the part of the brain that's been with us through our earlier stages of evolution and it governs or flight/fight responses. The frontal lobe, that's the section that governs impulse control. It's in the front of the brain. it's our higher order functioning. That stuff starts to shut down as we gear up for action. You want to work on returning function to it when your temper is flaring and you are under stress. Practice those exercises, physical and thinking exercises I listed, to get your frontal lobe to take over from your reptilian brain.
If you're under 25 those portions of your brain are still developing so you have to work harder at it for a bit longer than fully developed adults. But it won't just go away on its own no matter your age.
Once you start to feel those kinds of things, it's important to personalize the object of your anger. If it's a person, for example, it will be helpful to remind yourself that the person you are angry at is a person just like you, has a family who loves him just like you, and has hopes and dreams and aspirations just like you. That way you start to reconnect yourself to the object of your anger.
You'll notice you do the opposite of this when you start to lose control. You'll be able to pair this with your realization of your body's internals if you do the yoga/meditation stuff I suggested earlier. Pay attention to cues like: that fucker, those types, these kinds, and other kinds of phrases that tend to objectify the target of your anger.
So when you start to think in your mind, oh damn those motherfuckers or that asshole, and your pulse is quickening then you know it's time to start reminding yourself what I wrote and making sure you are breathing correctly--deeply and slowly. That's what we humans do when we're under stress, our bodies start to shut down and gear up for flight or fight. So our breathing becomes shallow and our appendages get less circulation. Those are your signals that your body is undergoing tremendous stress.
When you do that, your brain starts to revert to what we call the reptilian brain. It's the smaller portion down in the base of your neck. It's the part of the brain that's been with us through our earlier stages of evolution and it governs or flight/fight responses. The frontal lobe, that's the section that governs impulse control. It's in the front of the brain. it's our higher order functioning. That stuff starts to shut down as we gear up for action. You want to work on returning function to it when your temper is flaring and you are under stress. Practice those exercises, physical and thinking exercises I listed, to get your frontal lobe to take over from your reptilian brain.
If you're under 25 those portions of your brain are still developing so you have to work harder at it for a bit longer than fully developed adults. But it won't just go away on its own no matter your age.
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